Thursday, May 05, 2016
Growing Up and Making Me Proud
An important determinant in deciding to go forward with Adoption #3 was that Aaron and Jada would gain a sibling with all of the attendant changes in the family dynamic. At 11 and 9, they're still kids, of course, but they're old enough kids that they can truly be helpful and considerate as we deal with being a party of five.
I'm proud to say that so far, Asher's two older sibs have answered the call and then some. They do way more chores around the house than they did before Asher arrived. They dote on Asher, change his diaper, feed him, and play with him without complaint. And they tend to their own things - homework, extra-curriculars, possessions - with little need from Amy or me to intervene or remind.
More important than specific tasks is an overall attitude that there is a little human being that they share life with and that they therefore have to accommodate to even if it imposes costs upon them. Our leisure plans are influenced by Asher, Mom and Dad have less time and energy because of Asher, and there's more to do around the house for everyone on account of Asher. Practically, even something as mundane as "Asher is sleeping so we all have to be quiet" is to me an extraordinary act of self-restraint and awareness of the needs of others - have you ever tried to keep a hyper 9-year-old boy silent when he would otherwise want to raise a ruckus?
Aaron and Jada are by no means saints. I know many people who have worked hard to cultivate compassion in their kids, and as a result those kids are incredibly attuned to the needs of others in ways that are truly remarkable. But I am no less impressed by the smaller acts of consideration that Aaron and Jada have been forced into making on account of Asher's arrival into our family, and the maturity and attitude they show in doing these things without complaint. Bravo to those two!