Breakdown of a Working Parent

 

Part of the struggle of “work life balance” is that we who have demanding work and family responsibilities have to constantly compartmentalize different aspects of our lives. It is part of being “professional,” after all, to be able to run the meeting or give the speech even if you up were up late with a sick kid, for example. 

Mercifully, I think our surviving the COVID era has given us all a little more grace for ourselves and others, that sometimes work and family crash into each other and we can laugh about instead of judging or being mortified. But I think we need to lean into even more grace for ourselves and others. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a work setting, sometimes a small group of people I trust deeply and sometimes a large group of people I don’t know well, and either I or someone else just breaks down because we cannot keep up the façade in the moment. And what usually happens when that happens? Not judgment or mortification or awkwardness, but rather an acknowledgement of the person’s bravery, and oftentimes a letting down of our own facades, often with relief as in “oh good, I can’t keep it in either!” 

In smaller settings, it can be cathartic and intimate when everyone lets their guard down, and shallow small talk is replaced with deep sharing and lamenting and support, about special needs or self-care or mom guilt. In larger settings, it can be harder to feel a strong connection with those among you, but it can be no less freeing to find ourselves in a space and among a group where it’s ok to show vulnerability and weakness and despair. 

The fact is, times are hard, especially if you are juggling a hard day job and a hard parenting situation. And, we are human, which means we are finite and we make mistakes and we get overwhelmed. Part of “professional” means figuring out how to make it through, sure. But I hope that part of “professional” in the circles I run with is that we are allowed to not have it all together, and even to have it all fall apart at times, and not only will you not judge me but you will join me.