The Advantages of Raising Kids in an Urban Setting

 

It is quite normal and usually celebrated when parents choose to trade in their kid-free urban existences and raise their families in the suburbs. Common reasons include better schools, fear of crime, and desire for more space. There is nothing inherently wrong with these choices and the reasoning behind them. 

One consequence of such a move is inevitably that kids end up growing up in a less diverse environment. American suburbs are almost by definition and purpose homogenous in socio-economic status, and unfortunately in this country that also means racially homogenous. 

Another consequence of such a move is that kids end up having a childhood that is more car-dependent. There are very few American suburbs (indeed, an embarrassingly small number of cities) where a car is not necessary for most life trips. Which has a number of economic, environmental, and societal implications, but one social consequence is that kids under the age of 16 are utterly dependent on their parents chauffeuring them around if they want to do anything. 

I don’t think that people who live in the suburbs are unaware of these consequences. But I think many have underappreciated just how impactful it is on their children’s upbringing. I’ll share a couple of anecdotes from last weekend to underscore how much I feel my kids have gained growing up in a city environment.

 I had just picked Asher up from a week of sleepaway camp and he was desperately missing the comforts of home. This included seeing his close friends, and as luck would have it one of them saw me barbecuing in the backyard and came over and asked if Asher was around. He and Asher ended up chowing down on hamburgers and watermelon, and then got the bright idea to set up a lemonade stand since it was a hot day (and, as 10-year-old boys, their desire for spending money is soaring). With minimal help from their parents, lemonade and signs were produced, a table set up, and business was brisk. It helped that neighbors were exceedingly generous in lining up as customers. But the ability to open this mini-storefront depended on pedestrian traffic, which was heavy even on a blazing hot day. No such possibility in a suburban environment in which people drive from Point A to Point B and cannot be interrupted mid-trip to have an interaction with and buy refreshments from two kids. 

When I went to check on the lemonade stand, which was four doors down from our house, I ran into my neighbor two doors down, who offered me a hearty congratulations to Aaron for his recent high school graduation, which I reciprocated to his son who had also just graduated from high school. In that moment, I realized these two boys had been in kindergarten together and now were seniors going off to college. I also realized that Aaron had had the good fortune of going to school with people from all walks of life – white, Black, Asian, Hispanic, professional class, working class, from Philly and not from Philly – and that his social experience and life perspective had been positively shaped by that diversity. 

Raising kids in an urban environment is not without its challenges. But it is replete with advantages for parents and children alike. I will note that our neighborhood is very special even among city neighborhoods, in terms of the density of amenities and diversity of households. But it is representative of a form that prioritizes diversity and non-car travel. And I think more people, when they become parents, should understand and value that.