Friday, April 24, 2026

Keeping Asher Safe

 



Without going into too much detail about Asher’s special needs, I want to express worries Amy and I have about his well-being. Unfortunately, in this country young Black men are not often afforded the benefit of the doubt that the rest of us are privileged to have. And so as Asher gets older and bigger, ways in which he behaves due to his neurodivergence create potential exposure points that cause us his parents to hold our breath for his safety. 

We are profoundly thankful for our village of professionals and friends who help Asher daily and provide us with much-needed emotional support. I want to express particular gratitude to my circle of colleagues who have also raised into adulthood their own young Black men with mental health challenges, for the practical advice and compassionate empathy they are able to give – you know who you are and I see and appreciate you. Thanks!


Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Happy 11th Birthday to Asher

 





Today Asher turns 11! We celebrate his life daily but today will be extra!

Wednesday, April 15, 2026

Happy Anniversary to Us

 



Most wedding vows have these words, usually verbatim:

"...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

"Vow" is, in some circles, invested with spiritual and sacred undertones, not to be entered into lightly but rather taken seriously, as seriously as one possibly can.

Which is not the same as their being easy to keep. Marriage is many things - a partnership, a journey, a union - including, at times, a struggle to be worthy of the vows uttered at its very outset.

Ah, but most good things in life involve struggle, and are worth the struggle. So it is that Amy and I commemorate 26 years, with an acknowledgement of the love and fun and joy that our marriage has experienced, as well as with the challenge and friction and effort that any marriage invariably encounters. That's worth celebrating!


Friday, April 10, 2026

Travel Log: Cape May NJ + Rehoboth Beach DE + Ocean City MD, April 2026

 


Destination: Cape May NJ + Rehoboth Beach DE + Ocean City MD

Date: April 3-5, 2026

Party: 2 (Lee and Asher)


Itinerary:

W 3 drive to Cape May, Cape May Zoo / Washington Street Mall / Beach Ave, ferry to Lewes, check into Airbnb in Rehoboth Beach

Th 4 Tanger Outlets / Midway Speedway / Chinese buffet, bike boardwalk

F 5 drive to Ocean City, bike boardwalk, rides/arcade at Jolly Roger at the Pier, drive hom


Spending:

Transportation $276

Accommodations $404

Food $140

Entertainment $218

Total $1,038

 

Friday, April 03, 2026

2026 Travel Plans

 



I've had two jobs in my life. Between them, I went to grad school (actually, the first half of my grad school program was done part-time, while I was working full-time at my first job). I recall having my school graduation on a Sunday, walking in the Penn-wide commencement ceremonies on a Monday, and Tuesday morning I put on a shirt and tie and showed up for my first day on the job at my current employer. So you could say that my gap between one thing and another was measured in hours, not days let alone weeks or months.

With the announcement of my leaving my current job in May, some folks have wondered if I am retiring or even assumed that I will be and offered their congratulations. I wish! I will be looking for another job, but I assume that won't start until the late summer or early fall. Which means my gap between one thing and another is several weeks this time. Which affords me a head start on what I hope to be a healthy rotation of trips, per last month's post about my very long travel bucket list. Lord willing, here's what's on the calendar for 2026:

April 1 to April 3 - Asher and me to Cape May, Rehoboth Beach, and Ocean City (MD)

May 23 to May 25 - family trip to Harrisburg, Lancaster, and Hershey

June 15 to June 25 - Asher and me to Baja California (Cabo Pulmo, Cabo San Lucas, and San Jose del Cabo)

June 28 to July 2 - solo trip to Shenandoah National Park, Montpelier, and Charlottesville

July 5 to July 9 - solo trip to Hartford, New Haven, and Old Lyme

July 13 to July 24- solo trip to Singapore to see Jada, with a weekender to Kuching (Malaysia)

July 27 to July 28 - Amy and me to Manhattan

July 30 to August 5 - golf to trip to Orlando and solo trip to Miami

Miscellaneous - overnighters to Long Island and Poconos, day trips to Ocean City (NJ), Jim Thorpe, Baltimore, and Washington DC

Beyond that, location and time will be determined by where I end up next and when I start. Looking forward to enjoying these places, taking lots of pics, and gawking at others' travel adventures along the way. And, per my new routine, will post travel log for each trip to record itinerary and budget. Bon voyage everyone!

Friday, March 27, 2026

Before I Die

 



Amy and I are old enough to have kids in college and young enough to have living parents. The thing about time is that it's undefeated, and the thing about life is that you never know when it is abruptly taken from you. However morbid a thought that is, think of how much you would be compounding your loved ones' grief if you didn't have your affairs in order for them to live on in your absence without the extra aggravation of not knowing what's going on financially and administratively.

For me, check-ins with my estate attorney and my financial advisor earlier this year, reinforced the need for me to take responsibility in these ways, so I took the time earlier this year to update important legal documents like will, living will, and power of attorney. Also, in the midst of doing my taxes this year I spent a little extra time during my personal annual financial review to make a "before I die" cheat sheet for Amy and the kids. 

In case you're wondering what goes into this literal reference binder that is securely stored in the safe in our house, here's a partial list:

* Description, account numbers, and website/password of every financial holding (checking/saving, credit card, college, retirement, investment)

* House info: tax parcel info, utilities account#/passwords, insurance, contractors

* Car info: VIN, insurance, mechanic

* Logins for all emails and socials

* Given that we own rental properties, reference info and instructions for each (e.g. property management, unit management, utilities/HOA/HOI, contractors, when to do what)

* Given that I do the taxes in our household, instructions on what forms need to be printed out and assembled, how to handle various revenues and expenditures, and what and where we need to file

Before you die - which hopefully for me and you is many years in the future! - I encourage you to do right by your loved ones and compile the same info for their reference.

Friday, March 20, 2026

Lessons Learned from the Winter of 2026

 



In Philly we are blessed with four true seasons, which make for a nice cadence to the annual cycle. And yet our memories are fleetingly short. Every winter I put away my summer clothes and wonder why I would ever need them, and every summer I put away my winter clothes and wonder why I would ever need them.

Of course, there are days when you wear shorts and days when you bundle up. But it can be hard to remember why when the current weather dominates your thinking. 

Which is why I wanted to record a few lessons learned this past winter, which here on the East Coast was a pretty brutal one highlighted by a huge snowstorm, followed immediately by a huge ice storm followed by well over a week of sub-freezing temps, followed immediately by an even bigger snowstorm. So, perhaps not all winters will have these characteristics, but it still feels helpful to jot down a few notes, on the brink of officially exiting the winter season and welcoming spring to 2026, that are top of mind now but could be easily forgotten by the time we’re sweating through a sweltering summer day. 

1. Shovel as soon as you can, including the car, including around the car. I thought I was so smart to time my shoveling as soon as the snow turned to ice, in order to move the white stuff around while it was still soft and light and before it had been encased in icy packs. So porch, steps, and sidewalk were cleaned and salted on a Sunday night, so that by Monday morning when everything else was a hard-packed mess the front of my house was in pretty good shape. I even remembered to clean off my car, since it was easier to clear off the roof, windows, and windshield earlier rather than later. Alas, what I failed to do was clear a path for my car. So even though it was clean, I couldn’t move it, and ended up having to keep it in place for over two weeks until enough snow had melted that I could break the car out of its icy tomb. Which meant that trips I used to drive to I had to take public transit for (like taking Asher to boxing) or walk to (which meant grocery runs were limited to what I could carry home on foot). 

2. Make sure the car can be left alone for weeks. Speaking of my vehicle, I was pleased to know cars are just fine being left alone for weeks on end, and don’t need to be turned on every once in a while in order to stay loose. What I didn’t do a good job of was checking to make sure it could be left alone for a long time. Sure enough, it turns out that the day of the storm, Asher didn’t quite close his door all the way, and so the “door open” light was on for days on end. Meaning the battery was completely dead when I tried to start it for the first time. Necessitating a AAA call for a free jump, which would’ve entailed idling it for a very long time to recharge the battery, but since the battery was toast we had to pay for a new one, which meant it was fine to leave as is but cost a fair amount of money. Lessons learned, always double check the car before you leave it for days! 

3. Stretch that old achy body. The thing about winters, for someone like me who is a wimp when it comes to the cold weather, is that your muscles get punished all the day long. Shoveling is hard work, plus you’re shivering and tensing up whenever you’re outside, and leisurely walks to loosen everything up are temporarily on pause. So I did stretch some every morning and evening, but probably could’ve done even more, especially as I get older and the muscles and joints have far less bounce-back. 

4. Golf options. I am famously up for playing a round of golf under any conditions, including rain and cold. But when there’s snow on the ground, courses close so I have to seek my fix elsewhere. If I’d prepared better with my car, I would’ve driven to Cobbs Creek Golf Range, where you can hit balls out into a field AND benefit from the technology that tracks your shot in order to see distance and other stats (including playing virtual rounds on courses around the world). Since my car was stuck, I went to an indoor sim downtown (Five Iron) that I could take the bus to, which meant not using my own clubs and also lacked the tactile feel of seeing your ball fly through the sky (since you’re hitting into a tarp just 5 feet in front of you). Good for staying in the game mentally, in terms of navigating hard courses and seeing how your data stacks up on various clubs, but not nearly as fulfilling as being outside. I suppose the best of all worlds when you’re snowed in is to fly to where there’s no snow! Someday…