Shout Out to All the Dads Who Make Dadding Look Easy When It's Actually Hard

 

 

Since as long as they can remember, my kids have sat in the back seat while I drive them somewhere. We're weaving in and out of various conversation topics while eating snacks and singing along to whatever's on the radio like it's no thing. So naturally, now that the older kids drive, they've assumed driving is the easiest thing in the world...until they each gotten into crashes almost immediately after they got their licenses.

The previous paragraph is not about driving.

My older kids do have their licenses, but they have literally not gotten behind the wheel since, so thankfully no crashes. Maybe they never will ever drive in their lives? Between making life choices to live in big cities or driverless technology becomes mainstream. At any rate, the beginning of this post is not meant to introduce a long discourse about cars.

But, let me say one more thing about driving, which is that, like all other activities we learn, over time the brain forms connections in our head, such that a very complex set of tasks can be done over and over again without exertion. Riding a bicycle, hitting a golf ball, tying a tie: these too are things we can do without thinking, because once the body-brain connection has been made, we no longer need to think, we can just do.

And think about just how complex the act of driving is. I mean, you are driving a two-ton steel box at 75+ miles per hour, surrounded by other steel boxes of various sizes weaving in and out, some controlled by people distracted by their phone or fumbling for a french fry or tired from a long work shift. Sometimes the road is slick from rain, the sun is in your eyes, or somebody lost a cardboard box up ahead of you. Every time we hit the road, we are putting life and limb on the line, given the thousands of variables we must navigate in order to navigate our way from Point A to Point B. 

I recall when I was trying to teach our older kids to drive, one of the lessons involved me narrating everything I was thinking while I was driving. They were overwhelmed by the sheer complexity of commentary coming out of my mouth while I was doing something that from their perspective seemed effortless. Turns out Dad wasn't just cruising down the highway, he was also monitoring speed, fuel levels, and turns and bumps in the road. As well as the ever-changing characteristics of all the cars around us: which were close and where they were in relation to us, which were going faster or slower, who looked potentially shaky and needed to be monitored, and so on.

So, finally, several paragraphs in, let me get to the point of today's post, which is to wish an early Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there who make dadding look easy when it's actually hard. (I'm posting this now because I'll be out of town for the next 11 days.)

And, make no mistake: dadding is hard. Whether you are a single dad, divorcee, stay-at-home dad, or husband to a working wife, or dad who is the sole breadwinner of your family, being a dad carries a set of responsibilities and expectations that is similarly complex like driving is. On the road of life, conditions are not always ideal, those around you threaten to swerve or crash into you, and you're not always at your sharpest. Your "vehicle" gets some miles on it and starts falling apart at the worst time, who you're chauffeuring and where you're taking them is ever shifting, and should you safely get everyone from Point A to Point B there's no tip at the end and usually no acknowledgement of gratitude and admiration for accomplishing it. Sounds like driving! But dadding is harder, because it involves even more variables and greater variation and higher stakes. And yet dads must bear the weight of society's expectations and family's needs, and make it happen day in and day out, season after season, life phase after life phase.

Like driving, dadding can look easy from the back seat. I assure you, it is not. And so I tip my hat to my fellow dads every day but especially today in anticipation of Father's Day. I see the diligence by which you carry the heavy burden of fatherhood, and the muscle memory you've built up over time to be able to do it with grace and ease. Happy Father's Day to you!

Travel Log: Point Pleasant Beach NJ, May 2026 + Jim Thorpe PA, May 2026 + Ocean City NJ, June 2026

 

Destination: Point Pleasant Beach NJ 

Date: May 10, 2026

Party: 3 (Lee, Amy, Asher)

Itinerary:

Drive to book store in Manasquan

Drive to Jenkinson's Boardwalk for food, arcade, and obstacle course

Spending:

Transportation $126

Accommodations $0 (day trip)

Food $14

Entertainment $39

Total $179

 

 

Destination: Jim Thorpe PA

Date: May 26, 2026

Party: 1

Itinerary:

Drive to Hideaway Hills for golf

Shop at Country Junction

Hike at Lehigh Gorge State Park

Walk downtown Jim Thorpe

Take Lehigh Gorge Scenic Railway

Spending:

Transportation $138 + tolls

Accommodations $0 (day trip)

Food $0

Entertainment $80

Total $218 + tolls

Destination: Ocean City NJ

Date: June 2, 2026

Party: 1

 

Itinerary:

Drive to and bike on Atlantic County Bikeway

Golf at Green Tree Golf Course

Lunch at Umi Buffet

Hike at Corson's Inlet State Park and Crook Horn Nature Trail

Visit Ocean City Historical Museum

Buy sticky buns at Mallon's

Bike/walk Ocean City downtown and boardwalk

Spending:

Transportation $109 + tolls

Accommodations $0 (day trip)

Food $44

Entertainment $32

Total $185 + tolls

 

Travel Log: Hershey PA, May 2026

 

 

Destination: Hershey PA

Date: May 23-25, 2026

Party: 2 (Lee, Asher)

Itinerary:

Day 1 

Visit Spring Valley Y

Eat at Manor Buffet

Visit Bird in Hand Farmer's Market

Check into Red Carpet Inn

Day 2 

Strasburg Rail Road

Visit Lampeter-Strasburg YMCA

Go to Turkey Hill Experience

Check into Mainstay Suites Grantville Hershey North

Go to Sheetz for dinner

Day 3

Go to Chocolate World for Build Your Own Candy Bar

Drive home

Spending:

Transportation $170 + tolls

Accommodations $169

Food $138

Entertainment $177

Total $654 + tolls

Gotcha Aaron

 

 

June 9 is the day we celebrate Aaron's "Gotcha Day," because it is the day he arrived in Philadelphia and was brought to the family home, completing a long journey from Taiwan via California in which he was accompanied by my parents, and then by Amy and her mom. Aaron is growing into a fine young man with good character and a full life. We continue to journey with him and give thanks for his coming into our lives. Happy Gotcha Day, Aaron!

The Regulars

 

In the age-old debate between trying lots of different things and sticking with what you know, I am usually squarely in the former camp rather than the latter. Sure, I have my go-to's, whether it is a running shoe brand I'm comfortable or the fact that I like going to our cherished vacation places in Florida every year. But, if given the choice of going back to something I've experienced before or intentionally avoiding that in order to branch out, almost always I'll choose to break new ground.

Indeed, during COVID, it felt important to break free from our usual takeout haunts and sample the vast diversity of food offerings in our neighborhood. So, we upped our frequency from once a month to once a week, and we vowed to not repeat places for as long as we could find a new spot. I lost track around 70 to 80, that's how many options we have within a 15-minute walk of our home. It was a wonderful way to celebrate the diversity of our community and support local businesses in the process.

But, I do understand the allure of having a go-to spot. For some, it's a matter of sticking with what works for you rather than risking a bad experience. But for me, it's a matter of approaching that wonderful existence known as being a "regular." 

Growing up, "Cheers" popularized the ditty, "where everybody knows your name." But, even better than being greeted on a first-name basis (and, in fact, many places where regulars go, no one knows anyone's names, even if everyone knows everyone) is the sense that you are recognized, appreciated, and treated with honor.

I can't say we're approaching that yet with a couple of local haunts, but it is nice to go back with some frequency to the Mexican restaurant on our block and the Arab-run smoothie shop up the street. It helps these places offer delicious things at affordable prices. But way more valuable to me is the sense that I am in a familiar and welcoming place, and that I have a real relationship with the workers and owners. 

I still like trying new things. But I also value what comes with being a "regular." It's a good feeling to want to keep coming back to over and over again.

What Am I Good At

 

 

I am appreciative of all the positivity that people have sent my way in the midst of my job search. It feels great that so many of my colleagues are willing to be so kind with their encouragements, to say nothing of practical advice and business connections that have been so generously offered.

It occurs to me that, if I am asking folks to keep me in mind for opportunities that might suit me, I should be more specific about what that might mean. I will reiterate that I am keeping an open mind about what my next career move might be. But whatever that is is not unlimited, but rather is constrained by what I bring to the table. 

For if there's anything that's non-negotiable about what I want to do next, it's that I have to be able to do it well, drawing from what I'm good at, and adding value and having impact in the process. So it makes sense for me to say more about what I'm good at, enjoy, and want to do more of. So here's a running list for your reference:

1. "Economic development" is probably the most inclusive phrase to describe where my career has tended to focus. Which I'll broadly define as contributing to the economic competitiveness of a place, being mindful of the need to be thoughtful and inclusive in order to do so. And which for me has generally meant a respect for both free market forces and the necessary role of the public, not-for-profit, and institutional sectors. Which in turn requires a respect for and connection to lots of different parts of a region and an understanding of how they can work well together, which my work experiences have afforded me.

2. I know how to run a professional services firm, in all that entails, which I think of in three buckets. One is operating a company, which is big-picture things like creating an organizational culture (and staffing and training towards that) as well as day-to-day matters like making payroll and dealing with HR issues. Two is bringing in the work, which some people call "business development" and which I consider to be a matter of reputation, networking, and closing the deal. Three is doing the work itself, which in the case of my most recent job was about economic analysis but which I'll define more broadly as identifying the problem to be solved, figuring out how to solve it, and then executing that solution in a way that makes the customer happy.

3. I have had varied work experiences that give me a well-rounded understanding of the primacy of leadership and the practice of leadership. Executive positions at both my jobs plus numerous fiduciary board roles represent a body of knowledge from which to address topics that are critical to the health of an entity and a region but that are often neglected because they are difficult and uncomfortable, things like ensuring proper governance and having a succession plan and making unpopular but necessary decisions.

4. I think I am a good friend, confidante, and advocate. This is something I work hard at and do with intention. Being a good listener, sharing vulnerably to give others permission to do the same, being a cheerleader, giving good advice, following through, and going to bat for others: these are personally impactful actions that I take pleasure doing to bless others and that I hope people recognize I do with authenticity and zeal.

If these traits resonate with an opportunity you are aware of, let me know! I welcome the exploration, if not for gainful employment then to better understand some other aspect of this wonderful region we call home. Thank you for your consideration.

The Search is On

 

 

In the spirit of transparency, I want to provide a dispatch on my present transition period of having left my previous job of 20 years and now figuring out what's next for my career. Of course I look forward to when I can announce what I'm going to be doing. But, while I figure out what that is, there is much to share.

To begin with, most people I know don't do this. They look for a job while in their current job. So even if there is time between jobs, there is not uncertainty about where one will land after leaving their present occupation. 

Uncertainty for most people is a tiny amount of exciting and a large amount of terrifying. This is certainly true of me, with respect to my temperament, which is very good at planning way into the future, and my life situation, in which I am a middle aged man supporting an entire household who is now not earning a paycheck for an indefinite amount of time.

What has been fascinating about this period in my life is the strange juxtaposition of what makes up my days. Two weeks out from my last day on the job, I have spent a considerable amount of time in four ways (the 3rd and 4th below are distinct but with a fair amount of overlap):

1. Having fun - playing golf much more often than before, doing day trips and overnighters, and generally seeking out enjoyable activities that I had not had nearly as much space to access

2. Self-reflection - writing and thinking about my life, to myself, to see what patterns emerge about lessons learned and strengths to lean into and aspirations to pursue

3. Job-seeking - Making a list of people and organizations I may want to pursue for employment, and doing the hard work of getting to those people and organizations (through mutual contacts), doing my homework on them, and meeting with them

4. Staying in touch professionally - Keeping an ambitious calendar of meet-ups and networking events, to maintain connection with colleagues and stay up to date on what's going on in the worlds I swim in

That's a lot of different kinds of things to fill up my calendar with! In addition to my usual responsibilities to wife, kids, house, real estate investments, and broader relationships and obligations. But it feels like a good mix, which if it was less balanced wouldn't feel as productive for what I need at this stage in my life, which is itself a combination of:

1. Needing to rest from sustaining a punishing schedule for a very long time

2. Needing to figure out what it is I want to pursue in my career next

3. Putting in the time to explore opportunities that help me get there

As a person of faith, I believe that God orders our paths and opens our next doors, and so I have been praying for that and asking others to join me in that. But, that same faith experience also reminds me that God is God of past chapters and future chapters AND the uncertain in-between, and in fact those limbo moments are often times of great instruction and clarity and refinement.

So, all to say I am being proactive in doing the things I think are essential to move forward in my life. And, I am trying not to rush through to the next thing, but rather to sit in and even derive meaning from this present unknown. Keep me in your prayers and keep me in mind if anything comes your way that you think I could get into.