Talking Back

 

I won't say which of my kids is in a phase of talking back to me.  It doesn't really matter which one, because most kids will go through such a phase at least once in their childhood.  I know this, and am generally a pretty even-keeled person, even when someone is yelling or even cursing at me.  Still, it can be pretty jarring and at times hurtful to be recipient of such harsh words.

Parents, what do you think?  Do you give kids room to do this, knowing that more often than not they are experimenting with how to express themselves, such that your approach is to meet such invective with a knowing acknowledgement of their anger rather than meeting heat with heat?  Or do you blast them back?  

Maybe it's good to let them say their peace, and to use the opportunity at a later time when things have cooled down, to demonstrate and express that you still love them even if they hate your guts right now.  Or maybe it's important to not miss the teaching moment to instruct them right then and there that what they're saying and how they're saying it is inappropriate.

 Thoughts?