Fatherhood as a Critical Protective Layer

I have emoted in this space and elsewhere about how terrifying it is to look into Asher’s future as a young black man in a society that all too often interacts with young black men in a threatening way.  So many lessons, behaviors, and scenarios I’ll have to go over with him so he can stay safe, which I won’t need to worry about with my other kids.

Other aspects of Asher’s circumstances put him at higher risk for mental health challenges in the future, which is always the case for kids but may be more likely in Asher’s case.  Again, it is frightening to consider what Asher might have to go through and if he can stay safe.  So I worry about that too.

These may be specific concerns that I have, but all parents who care about their kids also fret about how they’ll do when they grow up and you can’t directly and constantly keep them from harm.  A big part of our responsibility as a parent during their childhood is to protect them, yes, but also to use their childhood to build them up so they can protect themselves when they are adults.

I take little solace in the world Asher is growing up into, dangerous as it may be especially for people who look like him.  I do take solace in our Heavenly Father, who does not promise that kids will never be harmed but who does promise for His perfect will to be done in the lives of His kids. 

And, I take solace that Asher has an earthly father, whose love is another protective layer that builds him up now to be a future young man who can take care of himself.  My fatherly love is a weak shadow of our Heavenly Father’s, but it is also important for helping Asher to grow up healthy and happy. 

There are days he is a handful.  There are days he is hard to love.  There are days I am spent even before I get to him.  But every day is an opportunity to build him up, so by God’s grace I will take that opportunity every time. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there that are doing the same.