I have emoted in this space
and elsewhere about how terrifying it is to look into Asher’s future as a young
black man in a society that all too often interacts with young black men in a
threatening way. So many lessons,
behaviors, and scenarios I’ll have to go over with him so he can stay safe,
which I won’t need to worry about with my other kids.
Other aspects of Asher’s
circumstances put him at higher risk for mental health challenges in the
future, which is always the case for kids but may be more likely in Asher’s
case. Again, it is frightening to consider
what Asher might have to go through and if he can stay safe. So I worry about that too.
These may be specific concerns
that I have, but all parents who care about their kids also fret about how they’ll
do when they grow up and you can’t directly and constantly keep them from
harm. A big part of our responsibility
as a parent during their childhood is to protect them, yes, but also to use
their childhood to build them up so they can protect themselves when they are
adults.
I take little solace in the
world Asher is growing up into, dangerous as it may be especially for people
who look like him. I do take solace in our
Heavenly Father, who does not promise that kids will never be harmed but who
does promise for His perfect will to be done in the lives of His kids.
And, I take solace that Asher
has an earthly father, whose love is another protective layer that builds him
up now to be a future young man who can take care of himself. My fatherly love is a weak shadow of our Heavenly
Father’s, but it is also important for helping Asher to grow up healthy and
happy.
There are days he is a
handful. There are days he is hard to
love. There are days I am spent even
before I get to him. But every day is an
opportunity to build him up, so by God’s grace I will take that opportunity every
time. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there that are doing the same.
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