I run a small professional services firm. So I think about that mystical "work-life balance" a lot. Somewhere in between "9-5" and "80-hour work weeks" is what we aim for, which I think is the right place to be, but it is trickier to stick that landing than either extreme. What does it mean to honor the boundaries that allow people to have meaningful lives outside of work, and yet at the same to be the sort of customer-facing firm that understands that the real world has real deadlines and real expectations?
So I grapple with this, for myself as a husband and father. And I know that I set the tone, in policy and example, for my co-workers, who also have spouses and kids and elderly parents, as well as civic passions and hobbies and life events.
"Balance" implies that there are two (or more) things pulling on you, and that it is an ongoing task to manage each of them, because they are simultaneously important and yet not the only thing in your life. So I guess you can start there, is to acknowledge this somewhat perilous existence, be thankful that you have multiple important things in your life, accept that you cannot possibly "do it all," and do your best to honor every part while being kind to yourself that you won't always get it right.
It may helpful for me to get more specific. Not that I assume I have this right, and even if I do things will change and I will need to adapt in response. But a few things come to mind when I try to hold my life together in balance:
* The very first hours of the day are for me: spirituality, exercise, getting myself ready for the day. Due to my responsibilities, that means I have to get up at 4am. And since I'm trying to prioritize sleep, that means I have to wind down around 9pm.
* I'd rather work longer hours during the week than have to do anything substantive on the weekend. Whether it's because I have a lot of parenting or social things or because I want to bum around, I think it's good to take an extended break from the work grind.
* My official work day is usually constrained by kid drop-off and pick-up. When there's more work in a day than that allows, I catch up in the evening. The rare times there's less work in a day than that, I'm still in the office the same amount of time.
* A lot of times I miss the swim meet or the choir concert. When I do make it, I usually have to work after bedtime to catch up.
* While I do have to work at home sometimes, I try not to. On the flip side, I try not to handle personal or family things while I'm at work. I'm glad I have the flexibility to toggle, and I use that flexibility, just sparingly.
* When I'm golfing, I don't take calls or emails, and I don't think about anything but grinding it out on the course. Conversely, I'm usually grabbing the earliest tee time possible and I play pretty fast, so that I can get back to work or family as soon as possible. (Although this is an area that I'd like to rebalance a bit, in terms of allowing myself a more leisurely pace and not always feeling so rushed.)
* When I'm on vacation, I like to be largely but not totally off the grid, and at the same time I don't like having to catch up when I'm back, nor do I consider that fair to my co-workers and clients. So I try to work extra before to get to a good stopping point where balls are in other people's courts while I'm away, which minimizes (although doesn't totally eliminate) having to do long-form work like generate content or edit reports. I try to limit my email check-ins to four times a week (at the end of Monday through Thursday). Rarely will I take a synchronous meeting.
* Three or four times a year, I will take a personal day. No calls or emails, just golf or bike-riding or sight-seeing.
I wish less and less that I had an 8th day of the week to get more done. I'm more comfortable with my limitations, able to accept where I fall short, able to celebrate where I did a good job. You may look at my list above with horror or admiration. It works for me, for now, and I'm grateful for all that makes up my life.
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