Permission to Not Have it All Together

 

2+ years into a pandemic and with all that's going on in the world, I've long said we've stretched kids well past what they can tolerate, no matter how resilient they are. We have no problem acknowledging this in the abstract, but can struggle saying this aloud to friends and colleagues who we may otherwise hope think highly of us. But no one should look down on any parent if their kid is struggling. 

Practically, I have found that when I share our family challenges with folks, they in turn open up. And vice versa. It's like we've broached a sacred space and in doing so have given others permission to enter. 

There is a level of discretion that is required in being a good parent. There is such a thing as over-sharing, and our children deserve privacy and dignity. But, as appropriate and with people you trust, give yourself permission to not have it all together. You may find that it's helpful for you to speak freely, and that in doing so you grant permission to others. 

 It is still hard to hear when others' kids are struggling. But this is almost a given. If true, then rather than holding it in and feeling alone, let us find solidarity and comfort with one another. 

It is tragic what our kids are going through. It is more tragic if we all go about our days without being able to help each other be better. For our kids and for ourselves, we need to take care. Which sometimes means a good share and a good cry. Take it while you can.