I'm not enough of a theologian to fully grasp this nugget in John's first epistle: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18). But, no matter how deep or shallow you want to go, that's quite a statement.
I'm nowhere near able to practice perfect love as a parent. But I do love my kids deeply and actively. And, I often think about the role my acts of love has on my kids' lives.
Asher is at the age where he is afraid of the dark. There are probably other reasons he likes to prolong bedtime stories, but one is that once it's over, it's lights out and all alone. And there are nights when that is terrifying, no matter how many night lights are in the room and how many prayers we've prayed.
Fear of the dark is nothing unusual for a six year old, nor is fear in general. If I may be so bold as to put a slight wrinkle to the Bible verse above, my goal with Asher at this stage of his life is not so much to drive out fear but to help him to be anchored in the presence of fear.
Which means that my response to his shivering in terror at the darkness is not to say "there's nothing to be afraid of." Rather, it is: "I love you. And God loves you. And you can always say, 'Dear God,' and God will be right here with you."
Is that driving out fear through love? Or is it helping a little boy stand up to his fear by knowing that his earthly father loves him, and more importantly that when his earthly father leaves his bedroom his Heavenly Father is always there to accompany and protect and love? Either way, I like the Bible verse a lot, and I hope that love - my love for Asher, and God's love for Asher - is received by this little boy in a way that helps him to stand firm.
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