Wednesday, July 06, 2016

Act Your Age

It's happening already.

Asher is only just past a year but is big for his age.  So sometimes people assume he is older, interact with him as if he has more advanced skills, and then wonder aloud why he's acting more infant-like than older-toddler-like.

These interactions are never mean and are often endearing.  But they portend a time in the near future when people will make assumptions about how old Asher is, and the consequences will be far more fraught and even dangerous.

I have a friend who is white with an adopted black son who looks like he's four but is actually only two-and-a-half and rambunctious.  She tells me she's already starting to hear the whispers about how "he should know better," and it pains her that her son's advanced size is already causing her and him problems.

Of course we have seen the tragic consequences of black boys who were deemed older and scarier than they really were.  We will do our best to prepare Asher to avoid situations where misunderstandings can occur, but we will also have to just pray and hope and hold our breath. 
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