Monday, October 19, 2009
Questions About Kissing
File this under "I'm not ready to have this discussion with my kids yet." In the very cute movie Ratatouille, which we watched about a half-dozen times this past weekend on account of both Amy and me being laid out by various maladies, there is a scene in which the protagonist and his girlfriend enjoy a long kiss.
Whenever we get to that scene, Jada tells me she wants to kiss me like that, too. Right then, a moment: I need to let her know what is appropriate and what is not, without giving her any sense that I am rejecting her or that wanting to kiss someone like that is bad. I decide to tell her that when she gets older, she will someday find someone who she will want to kiss like that, and she can kiss like that then. And that, in the meantime, she can kiss her Dada on the lips quickly, or else longer kisses on the cheek.
Of course, for a four-year-old, there is no category for growing up, falling in love, and doing romantic stuff. Heck, she hasn't even progressed to the point of saying she wants to marry her best friend, Charlie, which wouldn't be unusual for someone her age; instead, she's still limited to thinking that she will either marry me or Aaron. And, like Aaron, she doesn't seem to like it much when Amy and I do long kisses.
So we have a ways to go in terms of going over the whole love, romance, sex, and marriage thing. And I am realizing I have to be more ready for the next such discussion; after all, it may come at a moment as innocent as the middle of a Disney movie.