Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Haste Makes Waste

When I got home from work earlier this week, I noticed a package from
my mom of important adoption-related paperwork. I tried to blitz
through it but realized it was going to take more than a few minutes,
so I reluctantly put it down and scooped up Jada to give her some
attention.

But my mind was on all the paperwork, so our time, while pleasant, was
less relaxing than usual. Right before bedtime, she wanted me to read
all the books on her bedroom floor, but I told her I only had time for
four. I gave her some milk, kissed her good night, and left the room,
sprinting up the stairs to return to my paperwork.

But no sooner had I gotten into the thick of things there when Jada
starting crying, louder and then louder and then louder still. I
trudged down to her room, tried to calm her down, put a few more books
in her crib, and left, hoping that would do the trick.

It didn't. She kept crying, and I decided to get to the rest of those
books I had earlier chosen to not have time to read. We read each one
of them, but she couldn't get herself calmed down. Amy intervened and
did a little better, but after she'd left the room, Jada kept on
crying. We finally decided to let her cry on, and a few minutes
later, she was able to get herself calmed down, and eventually she
fell asleep.

But the moral of the story for me is that when it comes to evening
time with Jada, haste makes waste. She must have picked up on my
anxiety over the adoption paperwork, and so just as I was stressed, so
too she couldn't get herself wound down. So next time, regardless of
what's hanging over my head, I'm going to try really hard to just be
present. After all, it might just be the fastest way to get back to
being able to deal with whatever it is that's hanging over my head.

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