Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Dad to Dad

I blog often about dad insecurity because I feel it often. And when I
feel it, I combat it by connecting with other dad friends. Here's an
excerpt from a message I sent a good friend of mine, with whom I've
been dialoguing on the subject:

"I think part of it for me is that pre-parenting, I was able to
accomplish a lot more things, and now parenting, while it is the joy
of my life, detracts from being able to do as much vocationally and
ministry-wise, and so to the extent I find my identity in such things,
it's easy for me to feel less of a person when I am "less productive."
Not to mention that one's spouses' time allocation also changes,
which shakes up the equilibrium of whatever gender roles couples have
settled on in their pre-kid marriage time.

I guess the challenge is to accept the limitations that come from
parenting and be at peace with whatever we can and can't do outside of
the home . . . but not to go to the other extreme, and fall off the
face of the earth in terms of keeping in touch with friends, being
productive at work, and serving in our churches and communities. In
other words, how to work without being driven, and how to rest without
wallowing in self-pity."

Easier said than done. But with good dad friends, easier done than alone.

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