The other day, it took me the better part of the day to install three cabinet locks and three window blinds. Luckily it was a day that I have mostly free. But still, I was frustrated. I am not good at handyman kinds of things, nor am I very manually dexterous. Therefore, simple tasks take me a relatively long period of time. I found myself growing very impatient with myself. I snapped at Amy a few times, even though she was doing her best to be very encouraging and supportive toward me.
I apologized afterwards, and told her I was feeling down on myself for being so incompetent, and also worried that in the future when my schedule isn’t as free, I won’t have time like this to do these kinds of things so slowly. I am such an impatient person. I know that when Jada arrives, there’s going to be a lot of things like this, that take lots of time or that don’t seem very important. I have to let go of this need to be busy, to accomplish lots of things. Because of taking care of our daughter and the house she lives in becomes this thing that I have to get done and am getting frustrated over because I’m not doing it well enough or fast enough, that’s a problem. I pray I’ll get better.