As a child of immigrants who is now a parent himself, I find solidarity with friends and colleagues in the same situation. Taiwan, India, Mexico, Haiti, Nigeria, and other countries of origin could not be more different in some ways, and in other ways there are shared experiences that bring me great comfort, joy, and laughter as I connect with others.
On a more serious note, there are the deep things, like feeling a sense of connection and obligation to do right by the ancestors, which I think is largely a positive and profound sentiment. Less beneficial are challenges my peers and I face to allow ourselves to spend money, take care of ourselves, and otherwise prioritize self-care, since our own childhood was shaped by parents who scrimped and sacrificed (and who themselves had parents who scrimped and sacrificed even more deeply).
It is also instructive to compare notes about what it is like to raise kids, especially teenagers, in this era. On the one hand, we cannot possibly fathom the tremendous pressures faced by modern youth. On the other hand, we are also struck by how often we observe behaviors by our children that were completely off-limits to us when we were kids – talking back to the elders, leaving our rooms uncleaned and our homework undone.
On a lighter note, it appears that things like reusing
cookie tins to store sewing supplies or making sure you leave a party with a
doggie bag of food are universal norms that have been seared into all of us,
regardless of what country of origin our parents came from. As are norms around
dating, which is to say being super strict about who you’re comfortable with your
kids seeing or probing into who the parents of their significant others are to
see if they measure up.
No comments:
Post a Comment