What parent has not had the mortifying experience of having their kid melt down in the middle of a very public place, like a grocery store or library? Been there, done that, just like everyone else.
But with Asher, his outbursts can be far scarier. Without going into detail, some of his go-to's are things that, in a different time or place would be grounds for automatic expulsion if in a school context, or getting in trouble with law if he was a little older.
It is possible that things are this bad. But it is more likely that this is exactly the same as any other kid's tantrums: a knowing testing of boundaries, or a somewhat reflexive seeking out of the resulting responses that somehow reinforce the desire to act out in that way.
Professional assessments will follow. For now, deeply thankful for people at Asher's school and other places he regularly frequents, like our after-school care and the local Y's, for committing to caring for Asher despite his extra challenges, and being willing to put in the time and forethought to lovingly and firmly guide him towards more appropriate behaviors in public.
Let me also appreciate those friends of ours, often fellow parents of special needs kids, who have extended extra empathy towards us. I recall similar conversations when Jada and Aaron were littler and dealing with their own unique challenges, that when relaying these frustrations to others they would reply, "oh yet they seem so normal" or "but they're so sweet," which meant well but served to invalidate both the problems and our worry over the problems. Far more comforting was "I've been there," or even better, "that is hard."
Parenting can be gut-wrenching. But it doesn't have to be isolating. Since time immemorial, kids have struggled, and parents have worried. We're privileged to have resources, financial and social, to absorb Asher's extra challenges, for which we are grateful, as we are for the love that envelops us and our littlest as he grows up.
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