Black Awareness

The decision we made several years back to add Asher to our family was a matter of having room for at least one more baby in our hearts.  But, it was also a portal into the Black experience in America.  Which means that while Amy and I are not Black, we are parents of a Black child and therefore must raise him to have that self-awareness.  And what a special, fraught, terrifying, and joyous responsibility that is.

 

 

It also means we are able to raise our other children to be aware of what it means to move about the world as a Black person in America.  I'm glad Aaron and Jada have a diverse group of friends, and that yet they recognize the special connection they have with their little brother, which drives home for them that the challenges of race in this country are not just philosophical and policy and economic and social matters but also personal ones.  

I trust that through our conversations and sharing life together, they will be more ready to be advocates for their friends and co-workers in the future, which if true will have fulfilled an important reason we chose to do a third adoption.  So far they are responding admirably, even as they wrestle with their own identity as teenagers and adopted kids and Asian-Americans.  

This may seem obvious.  Of course Black kids need to be aware of their Blackness.  And of course a child with Black siblings will be more able to see the world from their perspectives.  And yet how often is race the elephant in the room, impossible to ignore yet completely unacknowledged.  And so it takes intentionality and effort to build that awareness muscle.

Amy and I love them all our children and are deeply proud of them.  And however hard and heartbreaking parenthood has been and will be, oh how wonderful it is to have a front row seat and a special role in watching them grow.  Race is an important yet fraught issue in our country.  Glad our kids are being sensitized to it so they can be proud of their identities and advocates for others like them and different from them.