Real

I'm not a social media basher at all.  I think it's great actually, although obviously it depends on how we use it.  What a platform, to share and learn and connect. 

It is important to remember, though, that our virtual displays are not indicative of the totality of our real lives.  Nor should they be, since discretion is a good thing.

Most people know this.  But how often do we, secretly or sub-consciously or overtly, actually want our lives to be one 'grammable moment after another?  Be honest: if somebody plopped enough money into your lap right now, the temptation would be strong to buy a nicer house, quit your job, buy new clothes, and travel the world.  And, of course, to post all about it so the world can see.



Of course, some of us are more privileged than others, to make some or even all of that fantasy reality.  Some of us live in nice houses, own fancy clothes, and can afford extravagant vacations. Yet I would still argue that real joy, real love, real life is not in such a seemingly pristine and worry-free existence.  And it is because of that I find myself constantly having to check my motivations and attitudes, about how I live and what I'm building for for the future.

Our family celebrated two major milestones this month: Amy and my 20th wedding anniversary and Asher turning 5.  Together, it's been a joyful time, in spite of all that is going on in the world. But I can't help but also take stock of the many moments that have made up all those years.  It hasn't all been sunshine and roses, as anyone who has been married and/or been a parent can attest.  

Our family is more blessed than most in many ways.  But we have had our fill of heartache, emptiness, and despair.  There have been bad attitudes, bad days, and bad news that we wish we could have back.  But, if given the chance, would I have wiped my slate clean of such wounds?

A famous pastor (who died young, of cancer) once said, "If God does something in your life, would you change it? If you’d change it, you’d make it worse. It wouldn’t be as good."  Perspective helps me to see that some things I thought were awful were actually necessary, that some pain is fleeting but leaves a lasting benefit, and that suffering isn't just something you gut through to get to the good stuff but sometimes is itself part of the good stuff.

Is there real joy, real love, real life in picture-perfect family portraits, in perfectly toned bods and perfectly made-up faces, in pristine natural landscapes and exquisitely decorated homes?  I would argue not by themselves.  Real joy, real love, and real life is also in the long journey of graying hair and family disputes and financial worries and professional disappointment.  

If I could wave a magic wand and wave it all away - past and future - would I?  For some it is a more unachievable possibility than for others.  But suspend the limits of your imagination for a minute.  If you could, would you?  Or would you know that real joy, real love, and real life is in the real, the real of imperfect people in imperfect relationships living in an imperfect world?

Maybe someday there will be perfection.  But, on this side of glory, give me real.  So far it's what has made my life richly blessed, and it's what I want more than anything going forward.