Honest to God

I don't post much about our older kids, because as teens/preteens they're entitled to some privacy.  (Plus I'm holding the really embarrassing stuff for their wedding reception.  Just kidding.  Or am I?) . In general, our parenting style for this age is to give them space.  They know we love them and are always there for them, but part of how we care for and nurture them at this age is to give them room to be their own people and make their own decisions and carry their own responsibilities.  And by and large, they are doing a great job, and I am so very proud of them both and love them both immensely.

One of them recently got into a bit of a situation, what the details are is irrelevant to the point I want to make, although I will say that they were not in trouble, did not make any mistakes, and were not in harm's way.  I am glad their impulse was to reach out, and I am glad I was able to be reached out to.  When we connected, the usual casual, gruff, or blase spirit we've grown accustomed to from our older kids was replaced by real emotion and real vulnerability.  We had plenty of time in the days after to debrief and to draw out broader life lessons; in the moment, I sensed that what I needed to be as a parent was a shoulder and an embrace and a sympathetic presence.

It reminds me of how we often get with God versus how we ought to be.  If we have been in the faith for a while, rare are our interactions with our God that can be described as having a realness and rawness to them.  We need not be pain junkies, thinking that the only time we are allowed to cry our eyes out before God is when we are in the pit of a despairing situation.  As a father to our kids, I cherish opportunities when our kids are truly themselves with me, feeling and expressing real emotions, of fear or sadness or confusion or regret.  How much more our Heavenly Father, who loves His children with an everlasting love, and whose love is strong and sure enough to withstand our true and vulnerable selves.

Whether you are going through a serious life trial or not, please know that you are allowed to be you before God.  Raw, raging, broken, ashamed...He takes all of it and all of us in, and loves us into life.  Behold, what manner of love the Father has given unto us, that we should be called His children.  My heart is warmed by my finite and flawed representation of fatherly love to our children.  How much more to be accepted and embraced at our point of greatest vulnerability by a righteous and mighty God.