At school a boy punched Asher. Teacher said “punch him back.” So Asher did. The boy punched Asher again. Teacher said “punch him harder this time.” Schoolyard dynamics are so tricky. Parents of black boys, I’d welcome any advice as we navigate how to raise our Asher.
The post engendered considerable discussion, all of which I appreciate and take to heart. People weighed in on whether the teacher should be disciplined, if and when violence in response to violence is ever justified, and how similar situations, and what has created such a culture of bullying.
Of course the thing I care about most, though I care about all of those other things too, is Asher's safety, both now and in the future. Schoolyard dynamics are so tricky, especially when it comes to black boys, because there are so many other layers I have to worry about. Will he get singled out, will he get labeled, and will violence escalate to a point of extreme danger are three things that I was privileged to not have to worry about when I was navigating my childhood. These are not privileges that now extend to Asher and so they become things that I as his father now have to worry about.
Thank you for journeying with me on this journey. I have learned so much, which I hold in my heart with much gratefulness. But I also hold a lot of worry in my heart. Dear God, please protect my sweet Asher and all little black boys who are similarly navigating a world that is all too often unfairly dangerous for them.
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