I Met a Girl, But Also a Guy and a City

 

When asked to give a quick bio, I often say I grew up in Cali, came out to Philly for school, and then met a girl, and we've made a whole life out here including three kids. There is always a knowing response to this way that I tell my life story, because who hasn't also had their plans forged by a relationship, one lonely traveler turning into one pair and that one pair turning into a whole family. In my case, "met a girl" also serves as an inflection point, in that my intentions at the time were to return to California since it's what I knew, and instead Amy and I put down roots in Philly. Which is to say that, had I not met Amy, maybe I end up in Cali and my entire life is different.

But that's not entirely true. Because I may have met a girl, but I also met a guy and a city.

Let me explain. I did not grow up in the church, but I came to faith in late high school and then brought that young faith to college where it really began to mature. Providentially, I found a strong Christian community that not only loved me and set an example for godly living, but showed me what it meant to have a walking talking living breathing relationship with Jesus and supporting me in that individual and communal relationship. And so, just as meeting and falling in love with Amy profoundly influenced my life plans, so did meeting and falling hard for Jesus.

And all of this takes place in a place. One can obviously be a follower of Jesus in any kind of community. My particular faith journey took place in an urban setting, and pointed me to the richness of living out my faith in a city. And not just any city but the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection, a city of universities and commerce and history and poverty and beauty and sorrow. Meeting Amy and committing to a long walk with Jesus brought me to the city of Philadelphia, for sure. But the city itself played a part in my choosing to put down roots here. 

So maybe I need to revisit my two-minute spiel when asked, "tell me about your life." Because for sure it has been influenced from having met a girl. But there's also a guy and a city that feature prominently.

Experiencing the Black Church

 

Since school started this year, Asher and I have been going to a new church, which is in our neighborhood and which is predominantly Black. Both characteristics are important considerations for me as I contemplate what will be good for Asher's spiritual journey, that "church" is a group and gathering that you can walk or scooter to, and that the faith community includes people who look like him. 

It helps considerably that worship is spirited, sermons are insightful, and people are welcoming. I feel at home there, and I hope Asher comes to feel a sense of connection and kinship too.

The "Black Church" as an institution is such a profoundly important thing for so many of my friends. As a parent of a Black child, it feels important that we have a season participating in it ourselves. 

Travel Log: Lititz PA, Seaside Heights NJ

 

Destination: Lititz PA

Date: September 29, 2026

Party: 1

Itinerary:

Drive to, work out at Lebanon Valley Y

18 holes at Iron Valley Golf Club

Downtown Lititz sights: Lititz Springs Park, Julius Sturgis Pretzel Bakery, Wilbur Chocolate Retail Store

Downtown Ephrata sights: Historic Ephrata Cloister, Warwick to Ephrata Rail Trail, Scratch Bakes

 

Spending:

Transportation $152

Accommodations $0

Food $6

Entertainment $54

Total $212

Destination: Seaside Heights NJ

Date: October 3, 2026

Party: 3 (Asher and Jada)

Itinerary:

Drive to Bayfront Free Parking, walk to boardwalk

Lunch, arcade, rides, ice cream

Drive home

 

Spending:

Transportation $109

Accommodations $0

Food $32

Entertainment $74

Total $215

Waiting on the Lord

 

During the approximately 4 ½ months between when I left my previous job of 20 years in mid-May and started my new job in early October, I did a lot of things. I traveled a bunch and played golf 50 times. I kept a full calendar of professional meetings for purposes of networking and job search. And I spent a significant amount of time journaling about the entirety of my life experiences and the themes and lessons contained in them.

But perhaps the most important thing I did was wait on the Lord.

Waiting feels and is passive. Waiting is the opposite of acting. And yet, in a very real way, waiting requires intentionality. Because of our general impatience and my own action orientation, it feels like waiting is an act I must choose. And, for those 4 ½ months of uncertainty, I did indeed choose to wait on the Lord.

To be sure, waiting on the Lord includes prayer, Bible reading, and other active forms of communing with the divine. But, it also includes the opposite of action, to the extent that action is intended to accelerate something being accomplished, an outcome being determined, a destination being reached. Waiting on the Lord, while an act of will, is an act of will to not act, but rather to…wait. To slow down and just be, rather than try to speed things up.

The Bible records a lot of humans in the act of waiting on the Lord. It is a demonstration of faith, of obedience, and of trust, in God’s unshakeable presence and goodness and provision. It is, naturally, something we humans are terrible at, and something we humans would benefit greatly from. It is, to hit closer to home, something I am terrible at, and therefore something I benefitted greatly from this year.

Something that helped me through this uncomfortable act was to remember that waiting in the present to know what will happen in the future becomes easier when we reflect on how this all played out in the past. If God was faithful all the other times we were in the same situation, it makes it easier to trust He will be faithful this time too, and therefore it makes it easier to wait for that faithfulness to become manifest.

Of course, time is weird. I can think back on my own life journey from birth to today, and see all the highs and lows and patterns and trends. What I can’t do is see any of those things in the future. So, regardless of how much evidence there is of God’s faithfulness so far, it is an act of faith to trust in God’s faithfulness to come.

My current job is only my third ever, having worked at my first for 10 years and my second for 20. Something I reminded myself a bunch of this year was that, at the same point before my first and second jobs, I was similarly in the dark about what my next opportunity would be and when it would materialize. So while I suffered from a lot of anxiety, dread, and regret along the way, I could also fight to keep myself in the serenity of knowing that just as I was similarly blessed with the arrival of my first and second jobs, so could I look forward to the perfect provision and timing of my third job.

It was good for me to wait. I didn’t always do it well. But I did it. And I’m better for it.

Gotcha

 

Tomorrow marks 21 years since we met Jada for the first time and began our parenting journey. Speaking of travel, this little girl has become a cosmopolitan woman whose passport has way more stamps than mine. Go Jerds!

Enjoy the Moments, Don't Wait for the Memories

 

Facebook has a wonderful feature called "Memories" where it calls up your posts from the same date in previous years. As someone who prolifically posts about their family, that means a steady diet of pics with the wife and kids, literally different snapshots in time.

I'm sure that my reaction to these photos is similar to that of other parents. First, that we can scarcely remember our kids being that young. Second, that we ourselves, the adults, looked so much younger then than we do now.

Time is undefeated. The adults age, and the kids grow up. This is natural and good, and I am lucky that for my family I am hopeful that life will just keep getting better and the future is bright.

But, "Memories" on Facebook is also a stark reminder to enjoy the moment. We will never be as young as we are now. If we are feeling old - which I do every morning I wake up to the normal aches and pains of a middle-aged man - we will feel even older in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years. It's fine to joke about our getting older, but if all it is is ungratefulness, I can tell you that the version of us that is lucky enough to be alive 30 years from now would kill to go back in time and have today's body. That's a helpful cue for me to be thankful for the health and vitality I do have in the present day.

And, we will never get to enjoy our kids at exactly this age ever again. They too only age in one direction, so today is the only day we can interact with them at this exact age. To give a contemporary examples, there are days when Asher's bedtime is exhausting for me, if he is being difficult or I've had a long day. But I know that it won't take long for me to think back to when I got to have a bedtime routine with him and think to myself that I would pay a lot of money for one more chance to do it again. It helps me not only to survive the night but embrace it.

A life well lived is full of good memories. The best of which are those in which we were fully present to enjoy them in the moment. It's what I try to do every day.

Blogging On

 

Across my two blogs, "Huang Kid Khronicles" and "Musings of an Urban Christian," I am coming up on 8,000 posts which have garnered an aggregate 2.2 million views. MUC debuted in February 2003, midway through a year-long sabbatical I was taking in my first job, during which I worked offsite and ran my organization's fledgling consulting practice (Cities Beyond), worked on my first political campaign (David Oh for City Council at Large), and birthed the blog as a platform for self-reflection and self-expression. HKK launched in June 2005, after we'd been matched with Jada but before we headed to China to meet her.

From the beginning, it's been a lot of musing at MUC and a lot of chronicling ("khronicling"?) at HKK. For those who have read, whether loyally or in and out, I thank you for your attention and hope I have enriched or at least amused you along the way. I hope to keep blogging for many years to come!