tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139590112024-03-28T08:48:48.950-04:00Huang Kid Khronicles73-91 born SEA lived SJC 00 married (Amy) home (UCity) 05 Jada (PRC) 07 Aaron (ROC) 15 Asher (OKC) | 91-95 BS Penn Wharton (Acctg Mgmt) 04-06 MPA Penn Fels (EconDev PubFnc) 12-19 Prof GAFL517 (Fels) | 95-05 EVP Enterprise Ctr 06-12 Dir Econsult Corp 13-20 SrVP/Princ 20- President Econsult Solns 18-21 Phila Schl Board | Bds/Adv: Asian Chamber, Cities Changing Diabetes, City Schl, PACDC, Penn Weitzman, PHLDiv, PHMC, PIDC, UAC, UPA, YMCA | Mmbr: Brit Amer Proj, James Brister Society LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.comBlogger3068125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-58696060101589500202024-03-28T05:37:00.029-04:002024-03-28T05:37:00.136-04:00Closing Time<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFiODUi3va22vg4OC5-mcWAzYToDfBE5u88S3I5UqxGAPOzNNuPopdiJ5OVfpCv1F5bnEC1QhC89jOl-ifAzqIPclXKDZZRu0WIpKQ7Ef5f_Ts614w9Ya608al6fzf8ehO-OrzmyxMgJFtLsfvF-MJEFO9Xj_O8Y4aIkqbGJpzwHVTP2zHkwF_/s256/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="197" data-original-width="256" height="493" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFiODUi3va22vg4OC5-mcWAzYToDfBE5u88S3I5UqxGAPOzNNuPopdiJ5OVfpCv1F5bnEC1QhC89jOl-ifAzqIPclXKDZZRu0WIpKQ7Ef5f_Ts614w9Ya608al6fzf8ehO-OrzmyxMgJFtLsfvF-MJEFO9Xj_O8Y4aIkqbGJpzwHVTP2zHkwF_/w640-h493/images.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Twenty-four years ago today a young couple closed on their first home and then celebrated over fajitas at New Deck Tavern while worrying immediately about whether that large asset (by far the most they'd ever spent on anything in the world) would catch fire or fall apart or do 101 things that were out of their depth or financial capability. </p><p>It feels like forever ago. Thankful for the things that fell into place to allow us to be homeowners, which we know is not a privilege available to all. I still worry about things beyond my pay grade. Probably more so, as the anxiety of not knowing what I don't know has now been replaced with the anxiety of knowing more about all the moving parts that can flare up at any time. </p><p>But I'm pretty sure my strongest emotion is gratitude that this old structure, 100+ years old and full of character, has become the setting of the family Amy and I have built. It's been a lot of hugs and kisses, a lot of diapers and barf clean-up, a lot of heartache and tears, a lot of laughter and celebration. This old house is our home, a blessing that young couple probably wished for but couldn't have possibly conceived of at the time. So we mark the occasion with happiness and reverence.</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-7838591739297450372024-03-22T05:06:00.101-04:002024-03-22T05:06:00.138-04:00The Balance in Work-Life Balance<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmDD-ddHo18uHobVBLoxirFIpqbY2iu-sy6keSOOy9NGezbSFIHwgcCu_bc1n0QSeIBzkIoev2htH-tFyO8YfsGbtxNLRuPaqth9W63L4SVUqBAyqt47l2mhoc9IaKeX2FUicFAAclXobfHMfjyBWMctH7J7YHdW9BLdtzygqjeEP6cJZJQBcP/s900/WorkLifeBalance_Blog%20Image.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmDD-ddHo18uHobVBLoxirFIpqbY2iu-sy6keSOOy9NGezbSFIHwgcCu_bc1n0QSeIBzkIoev2htH-tFyO8YfsGbtxNLRuPaqth9W63L4SVUqBAyqt47l2mhoc9IaKeX2FUicFAAclXobfHMfjyBWMctH7J7YHdW9BLdtzygqjeEP6cJZJQBcP/w640-h320/WorkLifeBalance_Blog%20Image.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>I run a small professional services firm. So I think about that mystical "work-life balance" a lot. Somewhere in between "9-5" and "80-hour work weeks" is what we aim for, which I think is the right place to be, but it is trickier to stick that landing than either extreme. What does it mean to honor the boundaries that allow people to have meaningful lives outside of work, and yet at the same to be the sort of customer-facing firm that understands that the real world has real deadlines and real expectations? </p><p>So I grapple with this, for myself as a husband and father. And I know that I set the tone, in policy and example, for my co-workers, who also have spouses and kids and elderly parents, as well as civic passions and hobbies and life events. </p><p>"Balance" implies that there are two (or more) things pulling on you, and that it is an ongoing task to manage each of them, because they are simultaneously important and yet not the only thing in your life. So I guess you can start there, is to acknowledge this somewhat perilous existence, be thankful that you have multiple important things in your life, accept that you cannot possibly "do it all," and do your best to honor every part while being kind to yourself that you won't always get it right.</p><p>It may helpful for me to get more specific. Not that I assume I have this right, and even if I do things will change and I will need to adapt in response. But a few things come to mind when I try to hold my life together in balance:</p><p>* The very first hours of the day are for me: spirituality, exercise, getting myself ready for the day. Due to my responsibilities, that means I have to get up at 4am. And since I'm trying to prioritize sleep, that means I have to wind down around 9pm. <br /></p><p>* I'd rather work longer hours during the week than have to do anything substantive on the weekend. Whether it's because I have a lot of parenting or social things or because I want to bum around, I think it's good to take an extended break from the work grind. <br /></p><p>* My official work day is usually constrained by kid drop-off and pick-up. When there's more work in a day than that allows, I catch up in the evening. The rare times there's less work in a day than that, I'm still in the office the same amount of time.<br /></p><p>* A lot of times I miss the swim meet or the choir concert. When I do make it, I usually have to work after bedtime to catch up.</p><p>* While I do have to work at home sometimes, I try not to. On the flip side, I try not to handle personal or family things while I'm at work. I'm glad I have the flexibility to toggle, and I use that flexibility, just sparingly.<br /></p><p>* When I'm golfing, I don't take calls or emails, and I don't think about anything but grinding it out on the course. Conversely, I'm usually grabbing the earliest tee time possible and I play pretty fast, so that I can get back to work or family as soon as possible. (Although this is an area that I'd like to rebalance a bit, in terms of allowing myself a more leisurely pace and not always feeling so rushed.) <br /></p><p>* When I'm on vacation, I like to be largely but not totally off the grid, and at the same time I don't like having to catch up when I'm back, nor do I consider that fair to my co-workers and clients. So I try to work extra before to get to a good stopping point where balls are in other people's courts while I'm away, which minimizes (although doesn't totally eliminate) having to do long-form work like generate content or edit reports. I try to limit my email check-ins to four times a week (at the end of Monday through Thursday). Rarely will I take a synchronous meeting.</p><p>* Three or four times a year, I will take a personal day. No calls or emails, just golf or bike-riding or sight-seeing. <br /></p><p>I wish less and less that I had an 8th day of the week to get more done. I'm more comfortable with my limitations, able to accept where I fall short, able to celebrate where I did a good job. You may look at my list above with horror or admiration. It works for me, for now, and I'm grateful for all that makes up my life.<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-29043097714515550992024-03-15T05:20:00.025-04:002024-03-15T05:20:00.138-04:00This is Us<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY1N97uYzrrnZavyJ9LglZ92ivPOh4Ctg07ADeYpfBRfL6Rbhf4ByBDZF2-Z-OapliPHZTe2jWIOaM3tEvB2QwSCWJLVrM8hbXqC74HDYN0sPBlnHscGPLkfWGivSUt7UfOawYAOdg1Do4copKijETL_sZj3ujYqWAUsEYOKg839bVA-4innl6/s700/this-is-us-hospital.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="700" height="348" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY1N97uYzrrnZavyJ9LglZ92ivPOh4Ctg07ADeYpfBRfL6Rbhf4ByBDZF2-Z-OapliPHZTe2jWIOaM3tEvB2QwSCWJLVrM8hbXqC74HDYN0sPBlnHscGPLkfWGivSUt7UfOawYAOdg1Do4copKijETL_sZj3ujYqWAUsEYOKg839bVA-4innl6/w640-h348/this-is-us-hospital.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Amy and I watched the first episode of "This is Us" several years ago, when we were in the midst of our own adoption-induced emotional roller coaster. We remember really liking the show, but feeling we weren't ready to dive further in, given how raw our own feelings were at the time. So we ceased watching and let things be.</p><p>Fast forward to the present, and we have been catching up on and enjoying all the episodes. If you're not familiar, the show takes place across two points in time, during the childhood and then adulthood of three siblings and their parents, the three siblings including the surviving two of triplets (the third didn't make it at birth) and a Black boy who was abandoned at birth and brought to the hospital on the same day. </p><p>I knew the show would pull at my heartstrings, but I don't think I was adequately prepared for all of the ways the drama in the show would open up for me new aspects of the joys and sorrows of adoption, race, marriage, and parenthood. Life is full of these ups and downs, artfully captured in this lovely show and mirrored in the tumult of our own lives. Thankful for it all. This is, truly, us. PS No spoilers; we're only one season in so far!</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-32056226305393640562024-03-08T05:26:00.013-05:002024-03-08T05:26:00.132-05:00Away, Again<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjrNMPUi8At1ztFl5fjFN0O_Rjd05yja0GCvE3mmIClgk8_Fz-2Z1owUKSiGRmW3BYch_7GEP2ThrM7BpDOrUZGH_xVXK_NEa20vpzMHSLlG_G0jOCK1McuY3NQYA1i6Glfca3XdvgB2ts7j3C0204_C4xEk8qrT1S67SgmZgj5h0j140DFeK/s642/Camping-Cottage-642x550-8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="550" data-original-width="642" height="548" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjrNMPUi8At1ztFl5fjFN0O_Rjd05yja0GCvE3mmIClgk8_Fz-2Z1owUKSiGRmW3BYch_7GEP2ThrM7BpDOrUZGH_xVXK_NEa20vpzMHSLlG_G0jOCK1McuY3NQYA1i6Glfca3XdvgB2ts7j3C0204_C4xEk8qrT1S67SgmZgj5h0j140DFeK/w640-h548/Camping-Cottage-642x550-8.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Asher's first experience with sleepaway camp was, admittedly, a bit of an experiment. He was 7, much younger than Aaron and Jada were when we first sent them off. And, we didn't know it at the time, but this was before ADHD meds. We were not surprised when he struggled behaviorally, and was not able to complete two of the four one-week sessions. He had a blast, but he was so young, and this was so new, so we were glad to have given it a try and hoped ensuing years would be easier.</p><p>Last year we also did four weeks, but in two separate places, and he did really well. It helped that at the one camp he had the same counselor as the previous year, who may very well be not a young man but an angel in disguise, given how patient and dedicated he was with Asher. Between a great counselor, another year of experience, and proper medication, Asher did much better.</p><p>This year we'll try three different locations over five weeks. By this stage, Jada and Aaron grew to adore these camps and were pretty good at packing for them on their own (albeit being slightly older by Year 3). Asher doesn't seem to be as enthused, and keeping track of possessions is notoriously difficult for him. But we're praying for another sterling experience.</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-18683079312955296712024-03-01T05:21:00.018-05:002024-03-01T08:12:48.778-05:00Raising a Reader<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0nPg7J1KUVa4t0klVt_EDmGycBAIvbM7OxNnGRrFhHkR6ca98mU5EK7RZWFSs0SHu-IPxqcRTWTGgHinaIRpnTV9Zp8R_JrbBBRkBgV9Evi5YLNzxOPHiuDLWA98rB7_OqbpsGmQ3l6DC1gypjKMnxbaSa29roPYeignYQMxg9RTDGn1tNN3/s1200/atoz_aboutreading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="628" data-original-width="1200" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0nPg7J1KUVa4t0klVt_EDmGycBAIvbM7OxNnGRrFhHkR6ca98mU5EK7RZWFSs0SHu-IPxqcRTWTGgHinaIRpnTV9Zp8R_JrbBBRkBgV9Evi5YLNzxOPHiuDLWA98rB7_OqbpsGmQ3l6DC1gypjKMnxbaSa29roPYeignYQMxg9RTDGn1tNN3/w640-h334/atoz_aboutreading.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Happy to report Asher is making progress on the reading front. He still has a long way to go to catch up to his classmates, but he's getting more confident as he memorizes more short words and gains more mastery sounding out longer words.</p><p>Books have always been a part of our lives. To this day I still read to Asher every night. And bookstores are a favorite destination for us when I'm in a generous mood. Hopefully soon he'll be able to dive into his own reads on his own. I hope we are helping make a lifelong reader.</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-46417973520265191542024-02-23T05:08:00.008-05:002024-02-23T05:08:00.127-05:00Nineteen!<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX5Y3Fz8ns7WR8E8FD4X5FRoiInqg7MGpjuPmCkfAACsXyR1Ekq19yud1IQ1ZLfslfesuj1jfMOPaiqfHv_KQ78JJ78TYb_Q9OuGBI1NWlBpYdmve3jF6O5-Fv_yGj6eMeQP_kQOOq8ep-xCZdFQmO70GNyWlhcQ07Qm0qKznry0Z7_qr-sg5W/s564/20240112_184649%20cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="564" data-original-width="512" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX5Y3Fz8ns7WR8E8FD4X5FRoiInqg7MGpjuPmCkfAACsXyR1Ekq19yud1IQ1ZLfslfesuj1jfMOPaiqfHv_KQ78JJ78TYb_Q9OuGBI1NWlBpYdmve3jF6O5-Fv_yGj6eMeQP_kQOOq8ep-xCZdFQmO70GNyWlhcQ07Qm0qKznry0Z7_qr-sg5W/w580-h640/20240112_184649%20cropped.jpg" width="580" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Tomorrow our oldest turns 19. We are so sentimental as we proudly watch Jada become a young woman. Last year she officially became an adult, this year is her last as a teenager, and soon she will be graduating from college and entering into "the real world." She will always be our first baby. But we love the grown-up she is becoming. Happy birthday, Jerds!</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-26105505334643413322024-02-16T05:17:00.026-05:002024-02-16T05:17:00.250-05:00Tired<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTLxY2qWFLtC5qq_SqZ9Ot8w6zz7DYIaDDa3BT8I0eQOP6hh0K5t87UcojCAGdMi1Nn1YgcE5N6UWhHtKvq-skZ7G6kIw6Oe7m4vc_OaQ1Gz2Itxm2VNwnHTlj7j1rzpBtvfl1sj6AdUrhv8ZHw3mvNw0ZjBTivebxgagSA_FZT9IEwIa7xRH6/s300/images.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="168" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTLxY2qWFLtC5qq_SqZ9Ot8w6zz7DYIaDDa3BT8I0eQOP6hh0K5t87UcojCAGdMi1Nn1YgcE5N6UWhHtKvq-skZ7G6kIw6Oe7m4vc_OaQ1Gz2Itxm2VNwnHTlj7j1rzpBtvfl1sj6AdUrhv8ZHw3mvNw0ZjBTivebxgagSA_FZT9IEwIa7xRH6/w358-h640/images.jpg" width="358" /></a></div><p> </p><p>Asher begged us for a scooter for Christmas, so I took him to Walmart to pick one out. It's been a good purchase all around. We do a lot of walking in our neighborhood, and it's a lot funner for him to use two wheels and a lot easier for us to not hear him whining about his legs being sore. It's pretty hilly where we live, but he's been pretty good learning how to navigate the downhills and power up the uphills. Glad his first wheels have been a good experience so far.<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-17533106820507704002024-02-09T05:12:00.064-05:002024-02-09T05:32:52.841-05:00Age Limits<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDiGDnmSWEdkbdl9bVe_HGr5DPNrknRJu5SCbyfHD58oz73txb3ZYddiNsBjUzSup_X5DQy4R14_uH8P6iWkzZU36Pw44QQujRdr1Oq3-12vb6Up6OSJKtvnDrrhiLRW-aCsovYQTiFFVYbTHTZPJIDoU7Pttw8-TQeORD8AWEnO10dqr0g-4-/s1020/multitask_1016.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1012" data-original-width="1020" height="634" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDiGDnmSWEdkbdl9bVe_HGr5DPNrknRJu5SCbyfHD58oz73txb3ZYddiNsBjUzSup_X5DQy4R14_uH8P6iWkzZU36Pw44QQujRdr1Oq3-12vb6Up6OSJKtvnDrrhiLRW-aCsovYQTiFFVYbTHTZPJIDoU7Pttw8-TQeORD8AWEnO10dqr0g-4-/w640-h634/multitask_1016.webp" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>At the risk of contradicting <a href="http://huangkids.blogspot.com/2024/02/degree-of-difficulty.html" target="_blank">last week's post</a>, I do want to claim my own grace in not holding myself to an impossible standard as a parent based on my personal situation. It is a form of self-care that I am trying to lean into, to accept that I can't do everything and that that is ok.<br /></p><p>This came to the fore last month when a big snowfall afforded an opportunity for sledding at our local park. Asher and I hit the slopes, along with what appeared like our entire neighborhood. What a magical scene it is when everyone gathers for this increasingly rare treat. The sights and sounds are worth remembering forever.</p><p>Anyway, as I was frantically trying to keep up with Asher, say hi to folks we'd bump into, and capture the moment through photos and videos, something occurred to me. Kids of all ages could be found in various states of fun: toddlers processing this new phenomenon called snow, older kids Asher's age that were ready to daredevil their way down the hill, and teens reveling in a day off from school. I realized that I was probably the oldest person out there that was responsible for a kid, and a high-energy high-maintenance one at that.</p><p>Sure, there were older people out there, but they were going for a stroll by themselves or were part of a multi-generational group providing support for their kids who were with their kids. Kids Asher's age or younger came with parents far younger than me. And teens were there without their parents. Here I was doing way more than folks older than me, while trying to keep up with folks way younger than me. </p><p>Asher may have lots of advantages since I'm his dad. But one advantage he won't access is things like me being willing to careen down the hill with him. And in that moment, I was able to get over any guilt about that and accept that there were limits to what I could do and that that was ok.</p><p>This specific moment is part of a broader realization I am trying to live more securely in. All of my closest friends are around my age, but none of kids as young as Asher (or, to my knowledge, with special needs as acute as Asher's). This is also true for my peer set in the professional space, where I hang with civic leaders most of whom who don't have nearly the level of parental responsibilities I carry. As for parents of Asher's friends, they're all younger than me and most have jobs that afford more flexibility than mine. </p><p>So, in just about any circle I'm in, there's no way for me to keep up. And I can seethe or wallow on that, kill myself to try desperately to level up, or accept my limitations and be glad for what I can do. I can't say the latter option comes naturally to me - the roots of that are the subject of another dive in another space - but I can say that I am increasingly aware it is my best option and increasingly able to choose that option with joy. Maybe as I get older I am, albeit not in a straight line, getting a little wiser too.<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-84484419978711694672024-02-02T05:12:00.052-05:002024-02-02T05:12:00.141-05:00Degree of Difficulty<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQp7H3Pu7KAoztSc5jVGzsPqGXp5w8UeFE7YxJKPgZnp6Rwh8ZGVgE78u15qMyws3Fvnp_-u7jFMbhlkpJVKXKVkrIecTzlvKJtmh0kEzNJuyUqbnzcibmyl0uGmXVj-Seb6BphPARl9_Vb0w7TljjCQ7nKYDcvTimhWwTXASJOAGWqtU3j09/s1200/web.sp_.samsettlesit.2.14.22.SFC_.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="902" data-original-width="1200" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQp7H3Pu7KAoztSc5jVGzsPqGXp5w8UeFE7YxJKPgZnp6Rwh8ZGVgE78u15qMyws3Fvnp_-u7jFMbhlkpJVKXKVkrIecTzlvKJtmh0kEzNJuyUqbnzcibmyl0uGmXVj-Seb6BphPARl9_Vb0w7TljjCQ7nKYDcvTimhWwTXASJOAGWqtU3j09/w640-h482/web.sp_.samsettlesit.2.14.22.SFC_.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>"Degree of difficulty" is a concept you see at the Olympics, where an athlete gets more points for attempting a routine that is harder, say in gymnastics or diving. This makes sense in some sports competitions: in such cases, we want to reward the best performance, so sticking a really difficult move is more impressive than really sticking a less difficult move.</p><p>But, it doesn't make sense in other sports competitions. If two teams play, and your team's star quarterback is injured, and you valiantly keep the game close but lose by a few points, you may have earned a moral victory but you are not rewarded an actual victory because you still lost the game.</p><p>Being a working parent is a constant realization that life is like the latter more than the former. Sure, you may receive sympathy, rightfully so, when you do your best in the midst of hardship. Gutting through the morning presentation at work after spending all night cleaning up your child's vomit is commendable. Making space to help your child through a rough spot after a punishing day at work is something worth patting yourself on the back for.</p><p>Nevertheless, life does not often grade on a curve, or to stick with my original metaphor give you a boost for a high degree of difficulty. While there is more awareness and therefore more sympathy in the work world of work-life balance, at least in my line of business my clients expect my "A" game when they've hired me, and it is of no relevance if my nerves are frayed from a bumpy morning with the kids. </p><p>And, it is helpful for kids to know that while they are the most important thing in the lives of us parents, they are not the only thing in our lives. So there will be times, understandably, when the work-life balance equation doesn't work in their favor, in that you can't make their game because you have to work late. We need not beat ourselves up for not measuring up to some unrealistic standard in which we are independently wealth and have infinite energy to always be there for our kids. But we do need to acknowledge that when we get slammed in one part of our lives (e.g. a business trip, an unexpected work deadline), it can have negative consequences in another part of our lives (e.g. being absent or otherwise not having 100 percent to give when our kids might need it).</p><p>This all may sound harsh but sometimes life is harsh. All the more to be nice to ourselves and others, to acknowledge that life sometimes does not give you a bonus for degree of difficulty so you just have to do your best and be ok with your best not measuring up. </p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-40432601270738846912024-01-26T05:34:00.007-05:002024-01-26T05:34:00.142-05:00Intersection, with Intention<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg251rdRCjel9GinWSg7AZMvDfJHmCKtZgMc8wAAV7e6W2XgFX3p3NNdNlfk8iaWzYwLjY9eFoIVV3sQZTTnzbpFsIOv4CmCdI0EAZUjVx2mF2CkpaWC79afAgXbf1jw7B91HDWGy1HgjXZrkaX_gjyWoH9fw8HLvg5EoGJyvDN9wucJKFMrXI8/s1200/1200px-Venn's_four_ellipse_construction.svg.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="996" data-original-width="1200" height="532" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg251rdRCjel9GinWSg7AZMvDfJHmCKtZgMc8wAAV7e6W2XgFX3p3NNdNlfk8iaWzYwLjY9eFoIVV3sQZTTnzbpFsIOv4CmCdI0EAZUjVx2mF2CkpaWC79afAgXbf1jw7B91HDWGy1HgjXZrkaX_gjyWoH9fw8HLvg5EoGJyvDN9wucJKFMrXI8/w640-h532/1200px-Venn's_four_ellipse_construction.svg.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Later this year I will have the pleasure of speaking to an Asian-American group on the Penn campus as part of a series of talks about the Asian experience in this country. I'm looking forward to telling stories about my life, and have tentatively decided to organize them under the theme of "intersection, with intention."</p><p>"Intersectional" is one of these buzzy terms that can mean a lot of things or nothing at all. For me, it is the notion that people are different, and that in those differences there are intersections whereby we can find common ground and seek shared advocacy. I will go further and say that this is not only a good thing but a foundational thing, at least for those of us privileged enough to have room in our lives to want to learn and grow and stretch and heal. Because we evolve and adapt as people when we are confronted with who we are, who others are, and how we can work through, appreciate, and benefit from ways in which we are different. It's one of the reasons I've really tried to prioritize reading biographies of lots of different kinds of people, because I find it so stretching to walk a mile in the shoes of someone very different from me.</p><p>But back to my talk on the Penn campus. Besides picking books to read, it occurs to me that there are lots of ways we can make intentional choices to create intersections with others different from us, and then to be "intersectional" from there. Tentatively, I will cover the following in my remarks:</p><p>* Where you choose to go to school and who you choose to make friends with once you're there</p><p>* What kind of job you look for, in terms of what the organization is about and who you'll work with</p><p>* Who you choose to marry and how you choose to bring kids into your family</p><p>* Where you choose to live and what social opportunities you plug into there<br /></p><p>Here's a <a href="https://ulife.vpul.upenn.edu/calendar/view/explore-reflect-become-lunch-series-paach-lee-huang/3608/" target="_blank">link </a>to the event page. Hope to see you there!<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-1642057904718967532024-01-19T05:07:00.000-05:002024-01-19T05:07:33.740-05:00Goodness Gracious<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzRSDpSoSu36mqb0Cm5zhoYWi6UeDvVytaTIfoCZBQYE3HyiPjB43yLkdoTEaRxc3v6BLUnhrNXKgx29TsjnGT5mohsC2swsbA1QIy3pOLwLvvW1Bv-qa5qzAyBd-AltOgsgfXgDdQutrER4JIBicA-ZpbxRQ5kYde10sGo5JdCf-SaR-r6AUp/s1024/945629326782d7a697be2695c74907ea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="706" data-original-width="1024" height="442" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzRSDpSoSu36mqb0Cm5zhoYWi6UeDvVytaTIfoCZBQYE3HyiPjB43yLkdoTEaRxc3v6BLUnhrNXKgx29TsjnGT5mohsC2swsbA1QIy3pOLwLvvW1Bv-qa5qzAyBd-AltOgsgfXgDdQutrER4JIBicA-ZpbxRQ5kYde10sGo5JdCf-SaR-r6AUp/w640-h442/945629326782d7a697be2695c74907ea.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p><p>My parenting style is like my overall life perspective, which is that life is hard and we need to be tough in response. Work ethic, no excuses, hardship refines us, and such. </p><p>This is a good thing for my kids to learn. It will serve them well in life. So I parent in this manner, without regret or apology. </p><p>But. I also need to realize that, while our kids need tough love, they also need gentle grace. I don't know what it's like to be them. To have Amy and me as their parents. To be adopted. To survive the isolation and fear of COVID.</p><p>Every generation is new, and our kids' generation is no different. Theirs is a uniquely stressful upbringing. Everyone has had to deal with meanness and violence and trauma. But now is a time of unprecedented access and speed and reach. </p><p>So I am learning to balance grit with grace. Our kids will be better for it.</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-68554416621226448882024-01-12T05:06:00.004-05:002024-01-12T05:06:00.141-05:00Happy Birthday, Aaron!<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL0UW74wBXJ5P1tFi79r2P1rKPPlh3A94ERFBdsDpmU8bkRVI3QtMz-i5Bu8WP3IZl_Md5S_IKrZlxIXwwVE2jRu1ttr_ldMEmvn0gO0uGEU3kC1Zd_tANdKKD9BPZ73tLEBaqR2u0IDt9FLfHRvvEQMWzVjR1XktMGSiAXQzuR_pLHA_Hk6ii/s1008/20231230_112823.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="756" data-original-width="1008" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL0UW74wBXJ5P1tFi79r2P1rKPPlh3A94ERFBdsDpmU8bkRVI3QtMz-i5Bu8WP3IZl_Md5S_IKrZlxIXwwVE2jRu1ttr_ldMEmvn0gO0uGEU3kC1Zd_tANdKKD9BPZ73tLEBaqR2u0IDt9FLfHRvvEQMWzVjR1XktMGSiAXQzuR_pLHA_Hk6ii/w640-h480/20231230_112823.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>This handsome young man turns 17 today. Love you Aaron!</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-39504510555585313042024-01-05T05:19:00.009-05:002024-01-05T05:19:00.145-05:00California Dreaming<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDeumc2CGtVpJj0Rkb5Q5tfkmDgkYKM6Yu0jT4VVx89x1efC1zRgQy75LXRxTiFLq8_xWDKr7AWFFNxIDeYqI82xeoI1oU7vkliF7KVf1h0sR5FkScHKDCTCvpxtFA6HBT-kBfJk_BYPYIwADri-MxJnmoOar71qFdctaChBUWoE_J3oj9FO80/s1008/20231230_183149.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="756" data-original-width="1008" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDeumc2CGtVpJj0Rkb5Q5tfkmDgkYKM6Yu0jT4VVx89x1efC1zRgQy75LXRxTiFLq8_xWDKr7AWFFNxIDeYqI82xeoI1oU7vkliF7KVf1h0sR5FkScHKDCTCvpxtFA6HBT-kBfJk_BYPYIwADri-MxJnmoOar71qFdctaChBUWoE_J3oj9FO80/w640-h480/20231230_183149.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>After two consecutive summer trips to California (first to get Jada to some college campuses, second for my dad's 80th birthday), we were back to holiday travel. The weather was a little wet so we had to keep on our toes, but we still got to do fun things all over the Bay Area, including Santa Cruz, San Francisco, San Jose, and Berkeley/Oakland. We stayed in Oakland for the first time, in an Airbnb, so this was a change of pace from our usual hoteling. It had its pros and cons, but all in all I'm glad we got a close-up of this iconic Californian city. Dreaming of who we can see and what we can do next time we're in town!<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-39447537666767389762023-12-29T05:06:00.009-05:002023-12-29T05:06:00.146-05:00We Did It Together<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiizszkWzKhDOeRuUudwhWZCHhdgb2gvUmEsjFaA4wlwQX_ojigbp0XhINzA4bXFTCBPkNcegEiZKAc2miJruFjP_YnKd813L0FB16akWa5xg-So2MVAOeQemj4OBu1kPlbbs__yZdEsHjrxzNAfrSwbOXVlB5b5CegfNVjJ1rQ9VbgWdXjDjBm/s600/family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiizszkWzKhDOeRuUudwhWZCHhdgb2gvUmEsjFaA4wlwQX_ojigbp0XhINzA4bXFTCBPkNcegEiZKAc2miJruFjP_YnKd813L0FB16akWa5xg-So2MVAOeQemj4OBu1kPlbbs__yZdEsHjrxzNAfrSwbOXVlB5b5CegfNVjJ1rQ9VbgWdXjDjBm/w640-h400/family.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>It's the last Friday of the month, so we're about to turn the page on 2023 and dive into 2024. It's a natural time to take stock, and when I've done so this season I'm filled with both the heaviness of hard things we've borne this year and gratitude for all we were able to enjoy. </p><p>While we are exceedingly privileged, we are like every household on the face of this earth and that we have endured both hardships and joys. In the end, the fact that we did it together is all that matters. For which I am thankful and humbled. </p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-44959532898494001602023-12-22T05:42:00.007-05:002023-12-22T05:42:00.147-05:00Happy Holidays from the Huang Household<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrgtmIO46TRgMLkwBFOkXS3_Pol6bylnkkYzrYoRdn-omJYsn3LumylEFF3MHENFmcCjMFal6VXN0AVLQ_JXHrl9JzQuy_4a8USCNC1R6FrDKCLqcXdEIJJ3QLuucpAwJr30mXAS2ewJJJMlIQXGOg-Yvjd7nYOqci2ssHlAeGV3Xv03-xYzWi/s4000/20230803_115510.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="3000" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrgtmIO46TRgMLkwBFOkXS3_Pol6bylnkkYzrYoRdn-omJYsn3LumylEFF3MHENFmcCjMFal6VXN0AVLQ_JXHrl9JzQuy_4a8USCNC1R6FrDKCLqcXdEIJJ3QLuucpAwJr30mXAS2ewJJJMlIQXGOg-Yvjd7nYOqci2ssHlAeGV3Xv03-xYzWi/w480-h640/20230803_115510.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div>From our home to yours, we wish you all the love, safety, and warmth this holiday season.</div>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-17448024230102743392023-12-15T05:40:00.035-05:002023-12-15T05:40:00.134-05:00Minding My Business<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW-x3l3dAcHUR4ZPVPqmKyu0Qm9wrllmDku_BIqnlYeo1UH64srrAqpjZhkRDHhbr4o_-WOiJSzAqzxKg664GylXHkLgyjZ0Mi_n3ING7JcwJ5jyU4S3FHFRqiTPa9_5g_xi7sky4jfStndyuuv_wiSBoSkZJqg4EzQBFAfk5MOINZs5UcPiB2/s640/CREMaintainCashFlow.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="640" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW-x3l3dAcHUR4ZPVPqmKyu0Qm9wrllmDku_BIqnlYeo1UH64srrAqpjZhkRDHhbr4o_-WOiJSzAqzxKg664GylXHkLgyjZ0Mi_n3ING7JcwJ5jyU4S3FHFRqiTPa9_5g_xi7sky4jfStndyuuv_wiSBoSkZJqg4EzQBFAfk5MOINZs5UcPiB2/w640-h426/CREMaintainCashFlow.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Occasionally I'm asked about my real estate business, which <a href="https://huangkids.blogspot.com/2023/02/run-numbers.html" target="_blank">I've tried to broach in this space</a> and will attempt to share more today although you'll excuse me for staying at a relatively high level.</p><p>We'll start with my most low-maintenance property, our condo hotel unit in Miami Beach. Being in a hotel program means that not only do you not need to worry about much, in fact you are not allowed to do much. You can't leave anything behind, redecorate, renovate, or repair. Everything is taken care of and then you get a cut of the bookings, so my only to-do's here are to file away the revenue reports and pay the property taxes. (I have HOA and utility bills on auto-pay.)</p><p>For my DC property, I have a local unit manager who handles finding and taking care of renters, as well as taking care of maintenance when it comes up, so all that gets deducted from my rent checks. I do have to keep tabs on property tax payments, and DC being DC there are also various annual and bi-annual paperwork requirements of landlords and business owners to keep up with.</p><p>For Ocean City, rentals are handled by an in-town realty company, which has also been great about handling tenant issues and maintenance troubleshooting since I'm not local. I have HOA and utilities on auto-pay, and also have to keep track of property tax payments and various forms for rental businesses. During the offseason, if the place goes more than a month without use, I'll take the fam out for a weekend getaway to make sure everything is ok. This place we do furnish and stock up for, so invariably there are little things I need to buy or replace, a set of coasters here or a vegetable peeler there, to say nothing of things we want to stow in the owner's closet for our own use when we're there (e.g. toilet paper, coffee).</p><p>Lastly, our place here in Philly on the Delaware riverfront. As it's in town, I manage it myself, although when things come up I have a list of approved vendors that either I can call or the tenant can, and from there it's pretty hands off since there's a front desk that I can give instructions to that will let contractors in so I don't have to be on site. I used to show, screen, and onboard tenants myself, but have since outsourced that and have found that approach to be far easier and better. All the bills here are on auto-pay, plus I have to deal with property taxes and tax returns on an annual basis.</p><p>For the business as a whole, I file all my receipts in a folder and then do the books once a year, for my own records as well as for tax purposes. Also once a year are holiday cards and/or thank you gifts for tenants, realtors, and contractors. So, in any given week, things do come up but the big lifts tend to be far more infrequent and far more predictable. </p><p>Of course, a whole other aspect of the business is springing into action when a buying opportunity arises. This is preceded by setting up and then reviewing alerts for potential properties, and is in turn followed by additional inquiries, maybe a virtual tour and request for information, and if things get serious then an offer and negotiations and a closing process. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. I haven't bought a property in a year and a half, and it's entirely possible I may never buy another. But you never know unless you look, so even it's less and less now, I still do look. After all, I'm just minding my business.<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-24169008159636544882023-12-08T05:41:00.000-05:002023-12-08T05:41:28.890-05:00Childhood Sports Allegiances<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgruqtWWz7lgIeNSo5Vo8UdrtrrUA9QvMfTVTQnkfMgn9NZZwUg16T8jdaG-l2B3B8uf79Xf7KDnjbPONoBzux4S5SB9xTWjo40Tvhpn4uDWRuT7i24y6UHCGomyqXe1P9HXgFEacwPrQxKsEOuXcBpFUUlTzqdWghjy2D1ItdK5-gA2OEEwMam/s300/marcus%20allen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgruqtWWz7lgIeNSo5Vo8UdrtrrUA9QvMfTVTQnkfMgn9NZZwUg16T8jdaG-l2B3B8uf79Xf7KDnjbPONoBzux4S5SB9xTWjo40Tvhpn4uDWRuT7i24y6UHCGomyqXe1P9HXgFEacwPrQxKsEOuXcBpFUUlTzqdWghjy2D1ItdK5-gA2OEEwMam/w640-h358/marcus%20allen.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPm0z-rtYO2i-oQlf2lhvdoonThl8Br724W9aLu9i-P2HxdCJMHiZHyddWgY5BeQLkys01jAEkNn3uh2dce-DIW8xZY35EEGR_8SUXJUAx428Xz5kY6nH9_9MWs0mqHRvZ4WYFNg2pm_XCREfgZiGyLtWrZtxPzhisgr3fhbozfxiMnZQk3VOl/s1400/510902774.jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="1400" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPm0z-rtYO2i-oQlf2lhvdoonThl8Br724W9aLu9i-P2HxdCJMHiZHyddWgY5BeQLkys01jAEkNn3uh2dce-DIW8xZY35EEGR_8SUXJUAx428Xz5kY6nH9_9MWs0mqHRvZ4WYFNg2pm_XCREfgZiGyLtWrZtxPzhisgr3fhbozfxiMnZQk3VOl/w640-h640/510902774.jpg.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>If my childhood self could peer into the future, he would be shocked at how little sports I and our kids watch. Me, not by choice but due to having very little time to indulge. My kids, I guess partly because I didn't get them into it and partly because they and their friends are into other things.</p><p>All well and good. Watching sports is but one of many things that can take up our days. And, like good Philadelphians, we certainly wish the home teams well and get excited when they go on deep playoff runs. But, I never would've predicted when I was a kid that it would come to this.</p><p>To say that watching sports WAS my childhood is a bit of an overstatement, since I hold many dear memories from those days that don't involve following my teams. But, it did take a lot of my time, and perhaps even more of my heart.</p><p>Strangely, since for most of my childhood, basketball was probably my favorite sport to play and watch, I was less connected to the Golden State Warriors than to the Oakland A's and Oakland Raiders. (The San Jose Sharks didn't come until later, and I didn't really understand hockey, so no real ties there.) Sure, I remember the Sleepy Floyd game, and Run TMC and then the Webber draft were highlights I can recall to this day. But my real roots were A's and Raiders.</p><p>Why them? Well, for starters, my dad was Giants and 49ers, so of course I had to be the contrarian. Rickey Henderson was my favorite player at first, and then when the A's had Canseco and McGwire (and went to 3 World Series in a row), that was a fun run. The Raiders had some success in my childhood too, winning a couple of Super Bowls during my prime viewing years. Those were the swaggering Silver and Black days, with Howie Long and Jim Plunkett and that amazing Marcus Allen run against the Washington football team. </p><p>I also got into college hoops, and Georgetown was my team because of John Thompson, the full court press, and intimidating centers (Ewing, Mourning, Mutombo). So, with three or four teams to follow, most weekends had me camped out in front of the TV, holding still for dear life if my team was doing well (since it was obviously the position of my body that was causing them to do well) and stomping around the living room if they weren't.</p><p>In a parallel universe, those superstitious ways carry to the present. Do I indoctrinate my kids into my childhood loves? Or do I convert to Philly teams and start a new tradition with them? Sadly, in this universe, it is neither. Those sports allegiances from my childhood are but a fleeting memory. We've filled our kids' childhood with different memories, no better or worse, and nothing to be sad about, although I guess a bit melancholy to think that the thing that was once so important to me is no more. Maybe once the nest is empty the allegiances and superstitions will return?<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-37526584072918039142023-12-01T05:09:00.008-05:002023-12-01T05:36:31.891-05:00Huang Family Newsletter, November 2023<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoJFj8L9Tq19x5VT2M1DsE0YiFendeP6IP_8-jnYNUtUDADT0sw0vwh3Gg_yZElRAy2gQnc-Ibidn2ZfBtgwPeJUyNHBSYjZRKwzZGYu4F6hZCgUvQZA3BwhkRy8YQd23I20Otk5FLXA0jl_yb95Y4_019NOMYYffYCX5ZqKfWUqCKagupSnPR/s1008/20231124_111708.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="756" data-original-width="1008" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoJFj8L9Tq19x5VT2M1DsE0YiFendeP6IP_8-jnYNUtUDADT0sw0vwh3Gg_yZElRAy2gQnc-Ibidn2ZfBtgwPeJUyNHBSYjZRKwzZGYu4F6hZCgUvQZA3BwhkRy8YQd23I20Otk5FLXA0jl_yb95Y4_019NOMYYffYCX5ZqKfWUqCKagupSnPR/w640-h480/20231124_111708.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Jada is digging into the social and academic aspects of college. Aaron and Asher are slogging through high school and grade school. We did a Thanksgiving weekend getaway to our beach house.<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-29461312416665573852023-11-24T05:32:00.012-05:002023-11-24T05:32:00.138-05:00Thankful<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf1Zd2R-5lFi-2GHIPKdU6-g1-AeA8OGsCAtdDyowIHA753F65QhNEF3rUhxHxSP0SgoCB41xJqCiUYv4UeVgQeVVwEfE14GbLIfzE9hH4OMwRYGOW9ccARGfOtqEziVhMJ3jLmDzWlTZPLSkOM9WfGKoBSF2cYYp_QiZTDAG46A_fFTs2BaRu/s1240/thankful-sermon-series.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="789" data-original-width="1240" height="408" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf1Zd2R-5lFi-2GHIPKdU6-g1-AeA8OGsCAtdDyowIHA753F65QhNEF3rUhxHxSP0SgoCB41xJqCiUYv4UeVgQeVVwEfE14GbLIfzE9hH4OMwRYGOW9ccARGfOtqEziVhMJ3jLmDzWlTZPLSkOM9WfGKoBSF2cYYp_QiZTDAG46A_fFTs2BaRu/w640-h408/thankful-sermon-series.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>2023 has been a rough year for many families including ours. But, no matter how much hardship, sorrow, and even tragedy one could bear, gratitude is still possible. Thanksgiving is a four-day weekend, turkey, football, family, whatever traditions you cherish. But it's also a prompt, to practice being thankful. Let's all take time to do so this weekend. <br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-73900828768727686152023-11-17T05:12:00.026-05:002023-11-17T05:12:00.131-05:00We Don't Pray for Me<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHVG73E88iu3gwF_YlYn5YFIvhAVibe4p6sQFTjefjazXWScMkB2tjNF8noZOL_yYV2-wuJM5hS9KbAp2Wyzj9svUCvmNB35etL9PJWOVaIOBbf3yBcaPOSE4W-RDEaP7XcRejZdAmm449N4BejJR3_e7Yd0-ruPI7dnuWQTVG6ObOnf2po1tq/s1000/ParentConvoHEADER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHVG73E88iu3gwF_YlYn5YFIvhAVibe4p6sQFTjefjazXWScMkB2tjNF8noZOL_yYV2-wuJM5hS9KbAp2Wyzj9svUCvmNB35etL9PJWOVaIOBbf3yBcaPOSE4W-RDEaP7XcRejZdAmm449N4BejJR3_e7Yd0-ruPI7dnuWQTVG6ObOnf2po1tq/w640-h320/ParentConvoHEADER.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>The last part of Asher's bedtime routine is I sing him a worship song. The second to last part is we pray together, which sometimes involves him praying silently or out loud but usually involves me praying. </p><p>Things will come up here and there, but there are some standard things I'll pray for, particularly things for Amy and each kid. So, without fail, we pray about those things. I like that this is a standing thing Asher and I do.</p><p>But I realize we don't pray for me. Honestly, I care more to lift up the needs of the other members of my family, than I do to lift up my own needs. Plus, it's not like I don't pray for myself on my own time. </p><p>But, am I sending the wrong signal to Asher? That somehow I don't have or am not allowed to have things that I want to lay before God? That doesn't seem like a good thing for Asher to learn. Parents, what do you think?<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-63637516767938304672023-11-10T05:18:00.036-05:002023-11-10T05:18:00.146-05:00What it Takes<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM8TPITiYJERjhZthX8-nZc4kK1apPAyYNnmeNg_fNl0es4Il4TNVRe9yvEw_uQb-7AknR6ru4WDGBGwitc2dSGkD_6mSP2j0Dv7fF6_BJN0982rP2gH-8YXT-QkRQ5gAawWB5BVLv_dKWBeYCHbN_nNwG6gF8zzEgz0Ks3NJX3x-YzQYGlkFC/s772/slideshow-lead_7.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="495" data-original-width="772" height="410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM8TPITiYJERjhZthX8-nZc4kK1apPAyYNnmeNg_fNl0es4Il4TNVRe9yvEw_uQb-7AknR6ru4WDGBGwitc2dSGkD_6mSP2j0Dv7fF6_BJN0982rP2gH-8YXT-QkRQ5gAawWB5BVLv_dKWBeYCHbN_nNwG6gF8zzEgz0Ks3NJX3x-YzQYGlkFC/w640-h410/slideshow-lead_7.webp" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Being a working parent in the year of our Lord 2023 is not for the faint of heart. I don't think, even if you are independently wealthy, that you can "have it all," since life is all about trade-offs. But, you can have balance, if you are clear about what's important to you, are willing to work hard to prioritize that, and can be at peace about things you have to sacrifice.</p><p>What it takes for me to give it my all as a consultant and civic leader, father and husband, and introvert who is committed to not cheating myself of the self-care I need, is commitment to and execution of a weekday schedule that most people would consider a non-starter but I have been able to routinize:</p><p>4am-6am wake, pray/Bible, exercise, shower/change, email</p><p>6am-8am make breakfasts/lunches, dishes, nap, take Asher to school</p><p>8am-6pm work</p><p>6pm-8pm pick up Asher, dinner, homework, Asher shower/snack/bedtime</p><p>8pm-10pm work, read</p><p>10pm-4am sleep</p><p>It's a grind, no doubt, so I try to intersperse with personal days and I do try to sleep in (until 6am lol) on the weekends. I won't always work and I won't always have kids at home, and honestly when I don't have either I'm sure I'll long for these days. So they're hard but they're not unenjoyable. In fact, I quite like it.<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-31310801333549059402023-11-01T05:36:00.015-04:002023-11-01T05:36:00.143-04:00Huang Family Newsletter, October 2023<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjneBSGY9OzNshEXdr_JqKE6LhQhiPjWUx1TM7rhPP7xsZlfnmAQWtBzNQq4pmGTJaZwB3vyS1d13RB_RAOdqQIxPMM-1anioKhmAWfOWg9i0uQWiVzrDwT25PF3v7XXBth7jX1bgb7wxBw8_67bmBblVliJytwRR9VaD_J5EfaDHMH3Cin5NLZ/s1008/20231022_093620.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="756" data-original-width="1008" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjneBSGY9OzNshEXdr_JqKE6LhQhiPjWUx1TM7rhPP7xsZlfnmAQWtBzNQq4pmGTJaZwB3vyS1d13RB_RAOdqQIxPMM-1anioKhmAWfOWg9i0uQWiVzrDwT25PF3v7XXBth7jX1bgb7wxBw8_67bmBblVliJytwRR9VaD_J5EfaDHMH3Cin5NLZ/w640-h480/20231022_093620.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p></p><p>Jada is hitting her stride at Drexel academically and socially. Aaron was sick a bunch AND twisted his ankle. Asher is getting bit by the golfing bug. We had a fun day trip to Brooklyn, Staten Island, and Manhattan.<br /></p><br /><br />LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-19547110661552526732023-10-27T05:25:00.001-04:002023-10-27T05:25:00.147-04:00Home, Work<p> </p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK-d7YV_nX_11wUkBUaZrPp47bKPczERIFl2mpwuq3XZQwP2CfU9iaaM_P8_ely62qWIjN8vgHbCNocVO3rvowjRJgUCJ6FLOdykZkP7_siZ5hx2ldq74BRuU46CX_8OkWDq4soUdvMFy4KFR6mf5IAplZCNFeDt1uHiAIwz6W5I7u3PATu6-W/s300/Untitled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK-d7YV_nX_11wUkBUaZrPp47bKPczERIFl2mpwuq3XZQwP2CfU9iaaM_P8_ely62qWIjN8vgHbCNocVO3rvowjRJgUCJ6FLOdykZkP7_siZ5hx2ldq74BRuU46CX_8OkWDq4soUdvMFy4KFR6mf5IAplZCNFeDt1uHiAIwz6W5I7u3PATu6-W/w640-h358/Untitled.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Summer's long gone and we grind through another school year for Asher. Being behind academically and having special needs, his evening homework times can be quite a challenge. No matter how positive and calm we are, too often he is the opposite: riled up, hard on himself, cursing us out, showing his frustration by punching or head-butting. The activity of doing homework seems to bring out, at times, his worst thoughts about himself and us, rudely and angrily expressed. Inside I am a stew of worry and exasperation; outside I try to project a soothing, stable presence. </p><p>What the kid needs to know as that I love him and always will, and that despite his own worst feelings he can actually put in the hard work to learn something that he doesn't know if he is willing to try. So we solder on at the end of each day, fried from it all but hopefully growing along the way.<br /></p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-32722445308343971442023-10-20T05:22:00.032-04:002023-10-20T05:22:00.145-04:00Getting Ready for the Real World<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1cvl-GXWZsup8Gpwh84eMnYdOIcqhqIXu7JT-uIex4sXm_u9B88u7zoA1aUjJIsbQc5FKwORSNjYJzkxuKwKby10pdEDXr31OsCtVe2vGK-0hybKMOuPwOY6PqCRlpiLamfnBbXUoKNwDaLQgaG9s1hEt6lvpZgEnByQwjnjVLo5LwMiilkyn/s1200/mushroom-cloud-of-nuclear-bomb-explosion-royalty-free-image-1689715071.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1200" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1cvl-GXWZsup8Gpwh84eMnYdOIcqhqIXu7JT-uIex4sXm_u9B88u7zoA1aUjJIsbQc5FKwORSNjYJzkxuKwKby10pdEDXr31OsCtVe2vGK-0hybKMOuPwOY6PqCRlpiLamfnBbXUoKNwDaLQgaG9s1hEt6lvpZgEnByQwjnjVLo5LwMiilkyn/w640-h480/mushroom-cloud-of-nuclear-bomb-explosion-royalty-free-image-1689715071.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Asher's behavioral issues, while details have been spared, are well documented in this space. I think the thing that I have been worrying about of late is whether he will learn to rein in his bad behaviors in settings in which those around him don't know how to help him in that direction.</div><div><br /></div><div>What do I mean? Well, whether it is us at home or his helpers at school, we know the sweet Asher and we've also had to deal with the salty Asher. And we know that in order to get salty back to sweet, we have to hold our ground and not give him the reaction his behaviors are intended to provoke.</div><div><br /></div><div>I will not speak for others, but only for myself. I have long learned to keep a flat affect and a persistent tone when drawing the line with Asher. If I need him to pick up Legos or get ready to leave the house or turn off the TV, I have resolved to stick with that in the midst of his protests, even though those protests can get quite volcanic. Because I know that if I either give in, or get angry back, I've created an opening for him to get what he wants instead of what I need him to do.</div><div><br /></div><div>All well and good, and eventually it does get resolved, even if I am completely wiped out after. And, most of the people who look out for Asher at school (and at other places where he regularly goes, like say the local Y) are similarly oriented that perseverance and non-reaction are the path to steering him in the right way.</div><div><br /></div><div>But it is unfair for someone who's never met Asher to hold the line in the same way. A normal person should not be expected to get punched in the stomach or be flipped off or cursed at, and simply respond with no change in facial expression. So that's how things can escalate, and as Asher gets older the stakes get higher, in ways that it is not hard for my worried parental mind to wander to. </div><div><br /></div><div>We have some really fantastic people at Asher's school who are coaching and cajoling and reprimanding and loving him towards a more mature response to situations where he doesn't get what he wants, has someone do something mean to him, or anything else that causes stress or anger. The village is hard at work to help Asher turn the corner, and I am praying he will do so in time.</div>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13959011.post-4031174050023823312023-10-10T05:09:00.037-04:002023-10-10T05:09:00.155-04:00Gotcha<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjCjX8jTE4pR295b5CyBWSmiDr-cOZu9B9a5eMkngqexU6aw0y6lE_j6WlD8SN38cRXuO27SEpljEWUmI54eq5MQMCD6dAOVlsjnRAicLsdAOTD91YDbDxXIqEKYWggGoQqUCSNNjKAyfAx-ckjMt7pj5_K3h4QtWt-Srs7Ryzl-HTsr7W9TRm/s1284/20230910_141451.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="963" data-original-width="1284" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjCjX8jTE4pR295b5CyBWSmiDr-cOZu9B9a5eMkngqexU6aw0y6lE_j6WlD8SN38cRXuO27SEpljEWUmI54eq5MQMCD6dAOVlsjnRAicLsdAOTD91YDbDxXIqEKYWggGoQqUCSNNjKAyfAx-ckjMt7pj5_K3h4QtWt-Srs7Ryzl-HTsr7W9TRm/w640-h480/20230910_141451.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Eighteen years ago today we became parents when we met Jada for the first time in China at age 7 1/2 months. Those early days feel so distant, adapting to a new sleep schedule and learning how to change diapers and figuring out how to get food into this tiny little thing. </p><p>Jada has long tired of my telling the story of how, two days into being a dad, she threw up all over my face and I (a normally squeamish fellow) cared not for the barf but only for her wellbeing. It was a literal baptism into parenthood, to worry more for someone else's wellbeing than your own. </p><p>I will add it is a worry that has continued to this day, even and especially as I root for her from the distance that is appropriate for a young adult who is forging her own path. She has left the nest but will always be our baby. Happy Gotcha Day to our Jerds!</p>LHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127870226377459490noreply@blogger.com0