Slow Down

 

 

Though it doesn’t quench my enthusiasm for the sport, I must admit I’m a terrible golfer. Perhaps that’s why I like the game so much, but that’s a thought for another post. 

One thing I’m realizing is that I’m particularly bad when I feel rushed. Golf is an activity that requires extreme concentration for a very short amount of time, over and over again, a level of focus that I often am unable to muster, distracted as I am by all the thoughts swirling around in my noisy head. 

Every round seems like a futile fight between my trying to tell myself to slow down and my inability to do so: 

* If I’m playing with good players, I don’t want to hold them up. If I’m playing with even worse players, they take a lot of time so I feel a particular need to accelerate lest we be on the course all day. 

* If there are groups behind us, I hate the notion that I might be holding them up. If there are groups in front of us, I know I’m supposed to keep up with them to maintain brisk pace of play. 

* If I’m playing solo, it feels like an indulgence that I’m not allowed to luxuriate it because I should be getting back to work or family. If I’m playing with others, I don’t want to hold them up. 

* If it’s extremely cold or hot, I want to finish the round as soon as possible because I’m feeling physically uncomfortable. If it’s pleasant out, the course is invariably crowded so I need to keep things moving. 

Based on the list above, there’s never a time when I’m not feeling a visceral impulse to rush. And we haven’t even gotten to the real reason I can’t slow down: my schedule is crazy. People are always impressed I’ve been devoted enough to my new hobby that I am able to carve out the time every week to engage it, which yes it’s something I work hard to make time for. But, at this stage in my life, “making time” means that to fit the several hours (including driving there, warming up, playing, and driving home) into my schedule, I have to race through a bunch of other obligations in my life before and after: wake up, work out, get groceries, get back to the office, and so on. 

Indeed, one of the great joys of my first ever golf weekend with dear friends was the ability to not only play golf but do other multi-hour activities back-to-back-to-back without having to compensate for such indulgences by racing back to real world responsibilities. Even then, I had to remind myself that I don’t have to rush, because my body and brain are so used to a breakneck pace. 

Kids and work will remain a big part of my life and a challenging thing to juggle in a finite amount of time. But, as we get older, those responsibilities evolve. And, as we get older, our realization of the importance of slowing down and taking time also increases, as does our ability to execute on that realization. I am not yet good at that. But I at least acknowledge that I am not good at it, and that I need to do better. Maybe getting better at golf will be sufficient prod in that direction!