Amy and I are going to do our best to raise Asher right, so that he dresses appropriately and behaves respectfully, so that he is intelligent and kind and aware and humble, so that he develops into the godly and loving person God wanted him to be when he graciously put him into our family to grow up in.
And yet we know that there are likely to be many times in his life when he will be misunderstood and mistreated. Some will not see that he has a loving dad and a loving mom and two loving big sibs, that he is kind and funny and sweet and smart; they'll only see a big black guy and they will think ill of him or worse.
We can do everything right, and yet that might still happen. Indeed, using the experience of my friends who look like Asher as a guide, it is almost certain to happen, many times over. And that saddens and enrages and scares me. All I can do is pray and hope.