Thursday, May 10, 2012

First Crush

As we were walking home earlier this week, Jada announced  to me, matter-of-factly, that she had a crush on a boy and the boy had a crush on her.  It took awhile for this to register, as my mind was still racing from the day's events at work and I was simultaneously trying to follow something Aaron was saying.  But eventually I asked, "What does having a crush mean?"  She said it means being in love. 

"And what does being in love mean?" 

"You know, getting married." 

Wow.  I went from walking my little girl home from 1st grade to finding out she has a crush to finding out she is in love to finding out she is thinking of getting married.  I tried to stay calm.

She proceeded to tell me the boy's name, that his crush on her was bigger than her crush on him, and that he had kissed her on the head during science class, where they get to sit next to each other.  I asked her if she blushed, and, after I explained to her what blushing meant, she said yes and also blushed.  I asked her if getting kissed on the head made her happy and she said it did and then she blushed some more.  Too cute.

Who knows what she really means and feels about crushes, love, and getting married.  I thought it was all adorable, as did Amy when we went over all of it at home.  And I take it as healthy that she likes boys and boys like her, and that she is excited to tell her mommy and daddy all about it. 

At the same time, I have to admit I was conflicted.  Even as we were walking home and I was delighting in Jada being so happy, I looked over at my hand that was not holding her hand.  That hand was holding a magazine, and, without noticing, over the course of our conversation I had balled the magazine up tightly and was squeezing the life out of it.  I took that to mean that while I'm happy for Jada, my "dad as protector of his little girl" part had subconsciously kicked in.  No doubt Jada's crushes, present and future, will have to sweat things out with me at some point. 
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