Happy Father's Day to All the Dads Out There

 

If you're a dad, I want to take a moment to wish you a Happy Father's Day. Be celebrated today, be grateful for the opportunity you have to be a dad, and let all that strengthen your resolve to be the best father you can be. 

Happy Gotcha Day to Aaron

 

 

18 years ago today Aaron arrived in Philadelphia via Taiwan and has been keeping us on our toes since. Happy Gotcha Day Aaron and we're proud to journey with you!

A Magic Kingdom Awaits

 

Later this month, I’m taking the family to our place in the Orlando area. Amy’s already been, with her friend, earlier this year, and we’ve made the place available to friends and family since we bought it about a year ago. But I personally have never been, not even when scoping it out and buying it in the first place, as I did a video tour thanks to my amazing local realtor. 

I’m excited to enjoy the place for the first time, as everyone’s said how great of a unit it is but I want to see for myself. Plus, it represents so many happy things for me, like having a place where the family can get away and relax together (in the unit and at the many amenities available on the property), as well as serve as a home base for lots of fun throughout the region (theme parks, golf, nature).

If you follow me on social media, be prepared for lots of photos and commentary! Looking forward to having the time of my life, now and for many more trips to come!

Going Off to College

 

For the longest time, Jada had her heart set on going to the West Coast for school. I braced myself for the logistical challenge of moving her in: plane tickets, buying stuff, where to store it over the summer. Then of course she ended up literally down the street, at Drexel University, where she has had a great college experience, and her mother and I have enjoyed seeing her often and not having to worry about the extra difficulties of her being far from home. 

Fast forward to the present, and we are getting ready to ship Aaron off to the great state of Kansas, where he will attend Kansas State University in the fall. And so begins the monumental task of coordinating travel plans, figuring out where to get winter clothes, and navigating a campus and town I’ve never been to (come to think of it, I’ve never even been to Kansas in my life either). 

Of course, I was a sheltered suburban California teenager when I shipped off to Penn and Philadelphia some 34 years ago, and I did alright. I had a severe learning curve to navigate a city setting, overall life survival skills, and a rigorous academic setting. If anything, 18-year-old Aaron is far more ready than I was at the same age. He knows how to cook and do laundry, and I didn’t; he has long navigated a big city on his own, whereas I was driven everywhere and then stumbled around in my own car with only a rudimentary sense of how to get places and where things were in relation to other things. 

Such is the college experience, truly, not just diving into a field of study to prepare yourself for your future career, but making the multi-year transition from kid living at home to adult launching out into the world. As I observe graduation ceremonies around here, I realize I will blink and Jada and Aaron (and then Asher) will be walking across the stage and into the beginning of real adulthood. Whether they stay close to home or are a long plane ride away, it’s their journey and I’m thankful to be along for the ride.

See You at Poolside

 

On the brink of Memorial Day weekend, thoughts of summer come easily to mind. As with last year, we've leveled up to a family membership at the outdoor pool at the Spring Valley Y, which for existing members is an affordable way to have access to an amazing outdoor amenity all summer long. Within our family, you'll particularly catch Asher and me there at least once a weekend, Asher frolicking in the water and making fast friends, and me reading a book or catching some ZZZ's. Ah summer...

You’ll Be Mad at Me and I’m OK With That

 

 

Parenting a special needs child is a lesson in many things, but I would say consistency is one of the most important. Asher is doing better behaviorally, but he is still prone to outbursts that can be hard for me to bear and him to wind down from. 

One of his social workers at school told me that some of the kids he sees are truly out of control, but not Asher. Like any savvy kid, he sees that if tantrums get him what he wants, he will continue to use them. The key is to not give in, because giving in reinforces the message to Asher that if he whines loud enough and long enough, he will get what he wants. 

And so it was that Asher and I were butting heads about something I wanted him to do that he didn’t want to do. Leave aside the other big life lesson – that in life, sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to, and not do things we want to – the matter quickly escalate into such statements as “I’m angry at you” and “you don’t get to tell me what to do.” Typical dad-kid stuff. 

Without breaking my calm affect, I told him “I love you, and when I tell you to do something, it’s out of love.” And, to both acknowledge his emotions and let him know his expression of them did not change my take on the situation: “I hear you that you are mad at me. Sometimes I will say or do things that will make you mad at me. You’re allowed to be mad at me. I still love you.” 

It’s not easy to watch your kid rage at you for minutes on end. But who said parenting was easy? What it is is an amazing way to express and experience unconditional love, and to watch that love mold a person into adulthood. I fall short many times, and even when I do the right thing I don’t always feel great about it. But such is my role in Asher’s life.

Kansas State University Class of 2029

 

This past weekend Aaron made a momentous life decision, which is where to go to college in the fall. He's chosen Kansas State University, where my dad went to grad school actually. Move-in will be a little more logistically challenging than when Jada went down the street to start at Drexel! But we are eager to take these steps with him as he embarks on this exciting new chapter in his journey to adulthood. Congrats Aaron, and now go get your high school diploma and go off into the world!