Huang Kid Khronicles

Anatomy of a School Lunch

2012-01-28T05:46:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of documenting the minutiae of my life for my future edification, I present to you a breakdown of what goes into my kids' school lunches. Let's hope the future me isn't horrified by this list, either for dietary or financial purposes.

Drink. Bottled water, which we refill with Brita water and then replace every week. At $4 for a 24-pack, that works out to about 3 cents a day.

Entree. PB&J for Jada, turkey and cheese for Aaron. A loaf of bread is $1.50 for 24 slices, so that's about 12 cents per sandwich for the bread. PB&J can't be more than 10 cents per sandwich (figure $6 each for huge tubs of peanut butter and jelly, each lasting about 120 sandwiches). Turkey and cheese are both about $5 a pound, so if I'm putting about a half-ounce of each in each of Aaron's sandwich, that's about 30 cents total. Plus a light spread of mayo is about 3 cents each ($3 tub lasting about 100 sandwiches). So that's 22 cents each for Jada and 45 cents each for Aaron.

Fruit. Either half an apple or half a pair. A bag of apples is usually about $3 for 12, so let's call that 12 cents each.

Dairy. Gogurts (my kids and I call them "squeezy yogurts") I hold out until they're on sale and I have a coupon, so I can usually get them for $2 for 12, or about 16 cents each.

Snacks. Fruit cups or applesauces are usually $2 for 6, or about 33 cents each. A bag of chips is $6 for 32, or about 19 cents, or else a granola bar is about $2 for 10, or about 20 cents.

All told, it works out to about $1 to $1.25 per kid per meal, or about $10 to $12 per week for our family. Health-wise and money-wise, I can live with this. Thankfully, my kids are very predictable, and don't insist on a lot of variety, which makes buying and preparing much easier.

More Heat on the Homework

2012-01-27T05:03:00.000-05:00

As noted before, Amy and I have tended to be more laissez faire when it comes to Jada's homework. We don't mind and in fact prefer that she turns in incorrect work, so that we can go over her mistakes after they've been marked up by her teacher, rather than before. Mistakes are good, so long as you learn from them, and we figure this is a better way to make the point.

But mistakes are one thing, and missing the boat altogether is another. And so last week's homework was not just marked up but included a note to the effect of "this homework was carelessly done." It wasn't just the errors, although there were many, but rather that some of Jada's answers did not appear to indicate that she understood the questions at all.

That, we feel, is worth checking on before and not after submittal on Fridays. Time's tight, since we put the kids to bed early and have them up early and out late, and plus Jada's ballet class eats into Monday evenings. But homework is worth making time for, not just to do but to do thoroughly. So we'll be making sure we all make time for careful completion.

Birthday Drop-Offs Every Hour on the Hour

2012-01-22T05:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday brought a birthday party for both Jada and Aaron. Thankfully, both were in our neighborhood; with all the snow and slipperiness, it was good we never had to travel far. In fact, it was a relatively painless way for them to get in a little snow time: crunching with their boots on the snow on the sidewalk as we walked to and from their friends' house is lower-maintenance than letting them frolic around in big piles.

Our morning began as all Saturdays do, with a trip to the Y. Amy and I worked out while the kids were in the kid room. They then had their swim lessons, while I did laps in the pool. We all got showered, and then headed to Subway to grab some sandwiches before dropping off Aaron at his party, promptly at noon.

We headed home, ate our sandwiches, and let Jada putter around the house until it was time for her birthday party, down the street, at 2. I doubled back home, only to leave the house again 45 minutes later, to get Aaron from his party at 3. Aaron had a good time, and when we got home he was content to play with the toys in his party favor bag. I concluded the birthday shuttling by getting Jada at 4. And after that, we stayed home, for this shuttle had no more gas for any more stops.

Happy Birthday, Mom

2012-01-20T05:10:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday today to my mom, who has taught me so much over the years.

More Holiday Photos

2012-01-19T05:30:00.000-05:00

Winter at the Y is Going Swimmingly

2012-01-19T05:15:00.000-05:00

For all of my crack research on classes at the Y, I somehow failed to account for the availability of classes during the winter. So while I had in my mind what would be fun for the kids to take in the fall and spring, I hadn't thought that there would be anything for them to do during the winter session, because for some reason I wasn't aware there was a winter session. So Amy and I decided to enroll them in swim class, rather than wait until the summer.

Aaron's teacher is really cool and funny, so Aaron is having a blast. Jada's teacher is more on the serious side, but equally effective in stretching her students to gain swimming techniques. Even though the pool is pretty crowded during their classes, I've been able to eke out some laps while they're in the water, so that when we're all done we can just get showered and head out together. The first two weeks of swim class, we've headed to the McDonald's next door, hungry as all get out because of all the swimming. That's some good times.

Stay at Home Mon

2012-01-17T05:23:00.000-05:00

Amy makes more than me, so sometimes we'll joke about her wearing the pants in the family, along the lines of me calling her "my sugar mommy" and me her "lazy slacker," or else me complaining about a hard day at work and her saying "quit your job and stay at home with the kids." Neither of us is cut out for stay-at-home duty full-time, since we both like working and don't really like extended domestic time at home.

But for a day, it can be fun. So while it was a bummer that Amy didn't have MLK off, it did give me a taste of the stay-at-home life. Again, I wouldn't wish this on myself for good, or even for an extended period, but I survived. I took the kids to the Y for a swim, and thanks to free child watch, even got a workout in myself. We also ate three meals together, which necessitated three set-up and clean-ups. I took advantage of the extra time in the kitchen to make a big salad and sweep the floor, and squeezed in some laundry and vacuuming to boot, as well as ordering some birthday presents for some upcoming parties. The day concluded by dropping off and then picking up Jada at ballet, and by the time Amy got home, it was good to have the adult-kid ratio even out.

It was a welcome break from having my work hat on, but I'm glad to be heading into the office again. Is it weird that I like schmoozing at business events and creating spreadsheets more than I like playing board games with my kids and cleaning up after them?

Travelers

2012-01-16T05:56:00.004-05:00

The Travel Show downtown was a highlight - but not the only one - of a busy Sunday for the kids. We started as we always do, with Sunday School and church. I've been in the habit of packing sandwiches and fruit for after church, so that the kids can just have their lunch there and then go nuts on the junk food. Four members' birthdays were this week, including Aaron, so there was a cake, and it even had Aaron's name on it, so that was a nice addition to the usual assortment of chips and donuts.

From there, we took the trolley downtown to the Convention Center to check out the Travel Show. It was fun to dream about exotic locales and fill out forms to win far-flung getaways. It was also fun for the kids to spy out candy and pencils and fill their grab bags to the brim.

From there, it was a short hop and skip to Reading Terminal Market to get smoothies and buy some refreshments for a birthday party we were going to. We made a slight detour to Chinatown for pastries and cake before taking the subway back to our neighborhood, where we headed straight for our friends' house to celebrate a birthday and eat more food.

We finally trudged home, some nine hours after we had first left the house in the morning. Although the kids were a little cranky from all the walking, soon enough they had given up the ghost and were fast asleep, with visions of tasty food and magical vacation destinations in their head.

The Last Christmas Day of 2011 was 14 Days into 2012

2012-01-15T05:49:00.001-05:00

One last Christmas gift bonanza came many days after Christmas. Since the kids and I were in California over the holidays, Amy's parents came over yesterday to exchange gifts and partake in a 20-pound turkey Amy took Friday off from work to cook. The food was excellent, the conversation comfortable, and the gifts eagerly anticipated. Jada scored an interactive globe, perfect for our little explorer. Aaron got lots of dinosaur stuff, and immediately scurried off to go play with his loot of books, toys, and clothes. Good times all around.

Happy 5th Birthday, Aaron

2012-01-12T05:09:00.001-05:00

He's 5 today, ladies and gentlemen! Though he drives us crazy, we love our little man.

What Do You Remember

2012-01-11T05:16:00.003-05:00

Looking back on an entire childhood's worth of memories, I find it a little strange that a disproportionate number of those recollections are of times I was sick, or times I was being transported from one activity to another. After all, I wasn't sick that often, and time in the car en route to baseball practice or piano was far exceeded by time spent in baseball practice and piano. Why is it that these memories, which may represent less than two percent of my childhood by time, may represent well more of my childhood memories?

Maybe someone can chime in with an eloquent explanation. As for me, I conjecture that being sick represented fond memories of my mom taking care of me (propping up my pillow when I had a sore throat, or making me soup when my braces hurt), while short car trips represented reflective "in between" moments with both of my parents (eating snacks while going from school to piano lessons, pounding my mitt in anticipation while my dad took me to baseball). Whatever the reason, you have to agree that these types of moments are disproportionately memorable for kids, right?

I say this because I am making some of my own memories this week on the parental side. Though my kids are usually indestructible, Aaron threw up one evening this week after complaining about his tummy at dinner, so while he looked and felt good the next morning, I decided to keep him home from school to play it safe (and also as a courtesy to his classmates, in case he was still infectious). Aaron quietly reveled in the positive attention Amy and I gave him as we cleaned him and his bed up, and was pleased as punch to be able to stay home from school and watch TV.

This week was also the start of Jada's ballet class, which is the first weekday extra-curricular activity for either of our kids, and which necessitated all sorts of running back and forth to get her from school, get her to ballet, get back to school to get Aaron, get him home for dinner, and then head back out to ballet to pick up Jada. All the hustle and bustle seemed to draw Jada, sleepily, closer to me: she sidled up to me on the bus ride to the studio, held my hand a little tighter as we headed down a new street and into a new building, and was affectionate with me as she changed and snacked when I returned to pick her up.

Who knows what, out of all we've put our kids through, they'll remember about their childhoods when they're all grown up. But my money is on moments like this week.

Christmas Morning, the Extended Remix

2012-01-06T05:31:00.000-05:00

I was relaying our mad dash to and through California on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to a colleague of mine at work, who is a mother and grandmother. Her natural response was to inquire as to whether my kids had missed out on that quintessential "open up presents on Christmas morning" experience. I laughed and said, "Let's see. Amy felt bad about that so she let them open a present a week before and two days before we left on our trip. Then they got to open presents from family members the day before, the day of, and the day after Christmas. Then they got to do stockings and more presents on New Year's Day, the morning after we returned from Cali. Then two sets of presents trickled in by mail, and they got to open those. And next week we'll be exchanging presents with their grandparents in New Jersey. So I think they made out OK!" It's good to be a kid around Christmas.

50,000 Hits and Counting

2012-01-04T05:23:00.000-05:00

My family blog hits another milestone: 50,000 hits. If you're keeping score at home, that's the first hit in June 2005, the 10,000th hit in February 2007, the 20,000th hit in January 2008, the 30,000th hit in February 2009, the 40,000th hit in March 2010, and now the 50,000th hit in January 2012. (The hits have slowed considerable in the past 18 months, since I started doing more Huang kid posting on my Twitter account instead of here.) Thanks to all who've stopped by.

Huang Family Newsletter, December 2011

2012-01-03T05:22:00.001-05:00

Amy is hitting her groove at her new job: although the work is hard and the hours are long, she is enjoying it and is good at it. Lee juggled many projects at work, spoke at a conference in Pittsburgh, and preached a sermon at his church. The kids enjoyed holiday light shows downtown, their ballet and basketball classes at the Y, and many thoughtful Christmas presents from friends and family. Lee's dad was diagnosed with lung cancer but was able to have it successfully operated on and is now on the way to recovering. Lee took the kids to California between Christmas and New Year, where they saw Lee's parents in San Jose and also made road trips to see friends and family in Los Angeles, Merced, and Gilroy.

Christmas Morning Came One Week Late Here in Philadelphia

2012-01-02T05:36:00.000-05:00

On account of being in California from Christmas Eve to New Year's Eve, the kids didn't get the quintessential "wake up early in the morning and tear through gifts and stockings" experience until a week later. In fact, it was a hair later than that, because they slept in (for them) on account of the time zone difference. But by 7ish, they were up, invigorated by a good night's sleep in their own beds, and ready for presents. Amy and I exchanged presents, as well. Everyone was happy with what they got, as evidenced by everybody's happy humming. Good times, even if they were delayed.

Back from Cali

2012-01-01T05:59:00.001-05:00

We're back from a week all over California. I've back-posted our dispatches from each day. Enjoy!

December in California, Day Eight

2012-01-01T05:56:00.002-05:00

We lucked out with an 11 o'clock flight, so our final morning at Agong and Ama's house doesn't need to be a fire drill. In fact, I have time to wash the sheets and towels and put everything right before we head out, saving my sister the chore.

After breakfast, I make final packing arrangements and then we say our goodbyes to Agong and Ama. My sister takes us to the airport, and soon enough we are through security and headed for our gate. Because of a glitch, our seats are not together, but the nice lady at the counter is able to square that away.

The flight itself was uneventful. The kids toggled between watching TV, eating, and drawing, while I made my way through a bunch of crossword puzzles I had accumulated over the past several weeks.

Soon enough, we were touching down in Philadelphia. Amy picked us up and gave us all big hugs and lots of kisses. The kids were excited to be home, but we were successfully able to shoo them off to bed so as to get them back on East Coast time. Although a pile of unpacking, chores, and projects await me, Amy and I are in bed early as well. (It was a foregone conclusion we were not making it to midnight on New Year's Eve.) It's good to be home.

December in California, Day Seven

2011-12-31T05:21:00.004-05:00

On our last full day in Cali, I had made plans to see some dear high school friends of mine and their families. The meeting spot was my friend Ceech's house in Gilroy. Gilroy is also home to some really nice premium outlets, so we headed down a hair early and got something for everyone.

We then made the short drive to Ceech's and spent the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon catching up with old friends and letting all the kids eat and play to their heart's content. Ceech lives in a quiet suburb, so playing on the sidewalks and streets outside was no problem, something of a treat for my two. (So was playing video games; Jada particularly liked Just Dance.)

By the time we got back to my parents' house, my sister had arrived from Merced. I drove my dad to the place where my mom's van was getting fixed up while the kids watched Pink Panther. When we returned home, I bathed the kids and packed for our trip home. Then it was time for dinner, cooked by my sister. Soon, it was off to bed, with thoughts of home already in our head.

December in California, Day Six

2011-12-30T05:16:00.001-05:00

After all of that travel all throughout the Golden State, we are content to lay low today. I am up early, even for me, so watch a movie (Inception) before the kids wake up. We eat breakfast, hang out with my parents, and then get dropped off at my cousin's house, where my kids can play with his kids. We leave there a little before noon, walk to my aunt's house (my cousin's mom) to drop off our Christmas card, and then walk home for lunch.

While the kids watch Pink Panther, I spend extended time catching up with my mom, and then am given another to-do list of yard chores. First my dad and then my mom add to this list while I am working on it, so by the time I'm done, there's a sizeable pile of brown compostables that has been piled up on the streets next to their house. I feel the satisfaction of having done good labor; I also feel not a little achy!

I do two loads of laundry while we eat dinner and have bedtime stories, and while the kids go happily to sleep, I am folding and packing already. We are nearing the end of our trip, with one more full day here before we ship out. It's been fun, but it'll be good to get home.

December in California, Day Five

2011-12-29T05:51:00.001-05:00

My sister had to get to work bright and early in the morning, so we were up with her, eating breakfast and packing up and heading out by 7ish. We "only" had to drive 2+ hours today, which we did without much traffic or hassle, stopping once for bathroom and gas. We got back to San Jose by 9ish and, since we were meeting friends for a late breakfast, we killed time at a local park. The kids and I had fun swinging and jumping and laughing and tickling.

10:30 rolled around and we headed for a McDonald's with a playground, where we caught up with a dear high school friend of mine and his wife and four kids. We somehow managed to drag out breakfast for over three hours, and then headed home to see my parents and unpack. Before the sun set, I squeezed in some yard work, per my dad's request, removing some brush in the back (and ordering my kids to pick up rotten lemons that had fallen to the ground).

All that yard work required a bath afterwards, which was followed by another delicious dinner cooked by my dad. The kids and I hung out downstairs and watched TV with my mom, and then we did bedtime and turned in early. After sleeping in four different places in four different cities over the last four days, it was nice to set up the kids' beds knowing we'd be sleeping in the same place for the next three days.

Dear Diary

2011-12-29T05:37:00.000-05:00

I think it's clear that Jada's favorite Christmas gift of them all (and there were many) was her own private diary, complete with lock and key for extra privacy. The thought of being able to record her thoughts with complete assurance that no one else would read them absolutely delighted her. In fact, multiple times this past weekend she turned down opportunities to watch TV or play with toys in order to add to her diary. And, the sentence, "I can't wait to write about that in my diary," has become a common one in this house. As a blogger myself, I find this very cool.

December in California, Day Four

2011-12-28T05:02:00.002-05:00

The kids squeeze in a little bit more time playing with their cousin - drawing, board games, and books - before and after breakfast, before we head back up north. It was a quick strike to Southern California and now it's time for more fun up north.

We get from Woodland Hills to Merced in four and a half hours, stopping once for gas and once for a hot dog. We arrive at my sister's house at 1, giving us the whole afternoon to play. The kids get a quick snack to refuel, and then we pull carrots and beets from her garden and then head out to Lake Yosemite for a hike. The highlight of our hike had to be when some cows that were off at a distance kept grazing their way closer and closer to us until they were literally just on the other side of the fence from us. The kids delighted in seeing them so close, staring at us while we were staring at them. I thought to myself: they won't get this experience in Philadelphia!

We head home, change into pajamas, have a delicious home cooked meal, and play Uno before turning in early for bed. My sister has to work bright and early the next morning, but we'll see her again in San Jose before the week is out. The next morning, it will be time to return to San Jose and to my parents' house, to tell them all about the fun things we did all over the state.

December in California, Day Three

2011-12-27T05:15:00.002-05:00

The two youngest of the four kids, who were born with two weeks of each other, are up first, unable to restrain themselves. The rest of the house, which includes the two older kids, me, my cousin and her husband, and my aunt and uncle, wake up at various stages over the remainder of the morning. After breakfast and video games, we take another stroll to another park, before returning home to await still more family members.

By lunchtime, two more of my cousins have arrived with their husbands and kids, as well as another set of aunt and uncle. Of course, this being a family gathering, we have ample food to go along with the 18 family members. It is a delightful time of food, Christmas presents, ping pong, and catching up. The talk of the house is the announcement of two more babies on the way, so the third generation of cousins will be +2 in 2012.

The party breaks up around 3, and the kids and I pack up, say our goodbyes, and head to Seal Beach Pier to meet up with two college friends of mine and their families. We delight in the sunny weather and the sandy scene, and even partake in sledding down a big sand dune. Before the sun goes down, we all break for dinner at In n Out Burger, and then head further north to crash at my cousin's place in Woodland Hills. The kids and their cousin play board games for a little bit while the grown-ups chat, and soon enough all are yawning and it's time for bed. I share the guest room with the kids, and after I tuck them in, by the time I return from brushing my teeth in the bathroom, they are already snoring.

All Smiles

2011-12-26T05:18:00.000-05:00

The kids' dental appointments happened to fall on the last day of school for calendar year 2011, which made for a more harried day than I would have wished. But with both Amy and I off, all turned out OK.

The morning routine was the same as always, but instead of walking the kids to school, I took them downtown to the dentist's office. Jada went first, and since this is her third visit, she was confident and bubbly. It helped that she got a goody bag full of really fun things.

Aaron had been dreading his turn since he woke up, even announcing with a wild tantrum that there was no way he was going to see the dentist. But Dr. Murphy was able to charm him, and the prospect of a goody bag for himself helped. Sure enough, by the end of the check-up, Aaron was his usual chatty self.

I dropped the kids off at school and headed home, only to have to escort yet another family member to a medical appointment: Amy asked if I would accompany her to the doctor's, where she was getting her blood drawn. So we rode the bus to the Perelman Center for Advanced Medicine for that, and then went to Starbucks after. I realize it's not dinner and dancing and fancy clothes, but it was a nice treat to spend such quality time with just Amy.

Alas, Aaron's school was dismissing early, so we headed in that direction, grabbed him, and brought him home. Jada didn't have her after-school program, so a couple of hours after that, I had to get her as well. We gave them some time to watch TV and play with toys, but then we instructed them to catch up on a week's worth of cleaning up all around the house. Not a bad way to ease into a holiday weekend.

December in California, Day Two

2011-12-26T05:10:00.002-05:00

Let's follow up a six hour flight with a seven hour drive, shall we? The kids mercifully sleep in until 5:30, which is acceptable to me for the first morning in the West Coast while still on East Coast time. I keep them upstairs for a little bit before bringing them down for breakfast. My mom is already up, and delighting in watching her grands as they eat. This is why I bring them out twice a year.

We hit the road by 8 and make our first stop at 9, at Casa de Fruta, a huge fruit stand that sells a whole lot more. We snag a bunch of items for family members and hit the road by 9:30. We make two more stops - one for bathroom, one for gas and food - and make it to my cousin's in Orange County by 3, which is great time. We walk immediately to a local park so my kids and her two kids can let off a little steam. A delicious dinner is followed by the four kids unsuccessfully containing their giddiness at having a little four-kid slumber party. Soon enough they are asleep and so am I.

December in California, Day One

2011-12-25T05:34:00.002-05:00

Saturday morning started out just like any other, only instead of heading to the Y, Amy took us to the airport. Yes, we are off to California for a week. I've managed to fit all our belongings, plus gifts, airplane activities, and enough food for the day, into one carry-on bag and one personal item for each of the three of us (shoulder bag for me, kid-sized rolling suitcases for Aaron and Jada).

We breeze through security, partly because the kids are old pros and partly because it's not hugely crowded. We decide to go for a stroll to the next terminal over, where there's a play area for kids, and kill about 20 minutes there before heading back to our gate. We arrive just as they are boarding, and soon enough we are on the plane. After detouring into the cockpit, on the invitation of the two pilots, we take up our row, put away our belongings, and settle in for a long flight.

It has been a while since we did the trip without layovers, and the flight lengthens at the very outset as we are delayed 45 minutes on the tarmac. No worries, though, as the kids are well-behaved, excited by the whole scene, and generally happy. We kill time with books, drawing, and then our portable DVD player (which has about three hours of battery life, so being able to not have to use it the length of the flight was a must). Food packing went perfectly, as we make it through a combined seven sandwiches, two apples, two fruit snacks, two fruit cups, two puddings, and a bunch of chocolates.

My cousin picks us up at the airport and soon enough we are home. Even though we left our house at a reasonable hour (8:30a, not unlike when we head out for the Y on a typical Saturday morning), we are at my parents' house just after 2, because we have gained three hours. Immediately, my dad puts us to work, raking leaves and tidying up in the front yard. He snaps photos while the kids try to be helpful. My mom has wheeled her wheelchair out to the front porch to observe it all.

We spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking, packing (heading down to Southern California for the next couple of days), and wrapping Christmas gifts. My mom delights in the holiday photos we had taken in the studio last month. The kids play with toys and then settle into watching some Pink Panther (I had not let them watch this for a little bit so I figured I would let them indulge). I catch up some with my parents.

Dinner was excellent, a combination of my dad's cooking and some Chinese take-out. The kids pound the food, and not just because they're hungry; they really like the authentic stuff. Jada discovers she likes lima beans. Let me repeat: Jada discovers she likes lima beans. I call Amy immediately.

After dinner is baths, and after baths I bring the kids back downstairs to the kitchen table, where Jada can write in her journal and Aaron can work on his letters, all within close proximity of their beaming grandmother. Soon enough, I am yawning, even if the kids are not, and it is time for bed. It's always a wild card as to how insanely early they will wake up the first morning we are in California, so I always go to bed early myself just to make sure I can at least get a reasonable amount of sleep before the cycle begins all over again.

Eco-Friendly Holiday Greetings from the Huangs

2011-12-24T05:51:00.001-05:00

Big Fun Day

2011-12-18T05:42:00.000-05:00

What a Saturday we had. The pics and videos tell the tale, so I'll only briefly narrate.

9a-12p - The kids and I headed out to the Y as usual, although with a twist, as this was Aaron's last basketball class and Jada's last ballet and tap class. Jada had a recital at noon, and Aaron had a birthday party in South Philly, so I made carpool arrangements with a school classmate of his, who also happened to be in his basketball class. So her dad was able to take Aaron home and then take them to the birthday party.

12p-2p - Amy hung back and arrived with her sister, who came into town to see her niece perform. The recital was really cute, and Jada moved very gracefully. We were all so proud of her, and she genuinely seemed to enjoy herself.

2p-5p - I barely have time to get home before I have to head out to South Philly to pick up Aaron and his friend. My pick-up is delayed on account of Aaron losing his gloves and me and the hosts ransacking the place looking for them. Finally, we find them, and off we go, first to drop off Aaron's friend, and then to go home. We spent a little bit more time with Amy's sister before she heads out, and then it's time to ship Jada off to her school classmate's birthday party. Mercifully, it's just down the street. Plus it's a pajama party, so Jada goes straight from ballet dress to PJ's, and we don't have to worry about another costume change.

5p-8p - Aaron falls asleep reading the dinosaur books his aunt got him for Christmas. Amy and I frantically do errands while we have one kid down and one kid out. Alas, too soon I have to go pick up Jada from her party. Aaron's a bit of a wreck from being simultaneously tired and wired, which makes bedtime a little bit more of an ordeal than normal. But it's acceptable collateral damage for such a big fun day.

R.I.P. Desol Crab (2011-2011)

2011-12-14T05:03:00.000-05:00

I returned home from my one-night business trip to Pittsburgh to some bad news. Desol Crab, our kids' beloved hermit crab, was pronounced dead by Amy, who had been monitoring him for the past week, trying to determine whether he had died or was molting. I haven't been able to talk to the kids yet to see how they're taking it, but it's likely that the prospect of getting another crab will cheer them up sufficiently. Still, it's a little sad to lose a cherished pet. We'll miss Desol, and will always have a soft place in our heart for our very first pet.

Stay at Home Mom

2011-12-11T05:50:00.000-05:00

The kids were all set to go to the Y last Friday night for their monthly "Kids Night Out," in which they dress up in pajamas and play with other kids so the parents can have a little free time. But with the night bracketed by a tiring week and a full weekend, Amy had a sense that she wanted the kids to stay at home.

I had them home a tick early, so we ate dinner, put on PJs, and then convened in the purple room for a movie (Gnomeo and Juliet) and snacks (popcorn, of course). The kids enjoyed themselves, and Amy and I, while we would've enjoyed going out to dinner, were too tired to feel regret about not seizing the chance for free time.

Holiday Shows

2011-12-11T05:24:00.000-05:00

We took Amy's brother's family downtown yesterday to various holiday festivities. We started at the Comcast Center, and then walked through Christmas Village to Macy's. On the bus ride home, Jada snuggled up next to me, and I told her to make sure to take her kids to the holiday shows when she grew up. After all, it's the funnest thing a parent can do with their kids.

No Germs for Mama

2011-12-07T05:11:00.000-05:00

We all know Aaron is a mama's boy. We all know he saves all his kisses for Amy. But check out this measure of his affection for his mother.

One day he came home with a toy action figure that he nicknamed "The Germ." The Germ's superpower was to make sick anything he touched. So when Aaron sic'ed The Germ on me, I started to mock cough and sneeze. Jada did the same thing. Just then, Amy came home from work, and I told Aaron to go sic The Germ on her. Aaron looked back at me in all seriousness and said, "no way."

Yup, I get the germs and no kisses. Amy gets the kisses and no germs. I don't see this changing any time soon.

Reining in the Socialite

2011-12-06T05:07:00.003-05:00

Apparently, Jada's world was abuzz all last week with talk of a play date this past weekend. She kept trying to explain what was going on but I kept getting her friends' names confused. Apparently, she had written notes for several of her friends, and their poor mothers reached out to us to see what was going on. We ended up making play date arrangements with one friend, inviting another but not being able to connect, and not being able to coordinate with yet another.

Speaking of written notes, Jada also showed me an elaborate set of sheets for her birthday party. Her birthday, of course, isn't for another two and a half months. No matter: individual invitations had been customized, signs were ready for the various stations within her party, and there was even a sign-in sheet for each parent.

By the way, she is all of six years old. I'm not sure I'll know what to do when we get to the teenage version of Jada.

Seeking Empathy

2011-12-03T05:07:00.001-05:00

Jada has never had a lovey-dovey side. Not that she's mean; far from it. But she isn't one to express pity or sympathy towards others. I wonder what we can do to teach her empathy.

The other day, the kids and I arrived at home, and while stumbling around in the dark (Amy wasn't home yet and it was already quite dark outside), Jada accidentally stepped on Aaron's hand, causing Aaron to howl. I softly encouraged Jada to say sorry, but that upset Jada greatly. There were probably other things going on for her, but suffice it to say that the notion of feeling sorry that someone is hurt is simply not on her radar screen.

That's obviously not a good thing. So we'll gently nurture her towards having more empathy, and hope that it is something that can grow in her.

Slow Down, Girl

2011-12-02T05:58:00.000-05:00

I enjoyed my first parent-teacher conference with Jada's first grade teacher earlier this week. She and I really hit it off: I like her approach to education and appreciate her particular attention to Jada. At one point, it was like we were finishing each other's sentences, since we were so in sync on our assessment of Jada.

We both agreed her strengths are that she has a sharp mind, aims to please, and works her tail off. Her weaknesses are that she works too quickly - she never fails to finish first - and is therefore prone to making errors. (I am exactly like that!)

Her communicative problems rear themselves in the classroom sometimes as well, whether not being up on social cues in ways that make it seem she isn't being respectful of others (not responding when she is being spoken to, not making eye contact, shriveling up when too much spotlight is put on her). Hopefully, we'll be able to get the school's speech therapist involved, if not with one-on-one sessions than at least with some helpful hints on how to assist Jada.

The time came and went like a snap. I thanked Jada's teacher for her style and her effort, and for all the helpful feedback. It was fun to relay all of the accolades to Jada later that evening. I'm proud of our little girl, and hopeful she has a good teacher to help her continue to grow and thrive in the classroom setting. If only we can get Jada to slow down!

Huang Family Newsletter, November 2011

2011-12-01T05:33:00.000-05:00

Amy left her job in the Philadelphia prisons and took a psych nurse practitioner job at Bravo Health, where she toggles between two offices and sees all kinds of patients. Lee helped get David Oh voted in as Philadelphia's first Asian-American City Councilperson, joined the board of his neighborhood association, and had speaking gigs in Harrisburg and New York City. The kids are chugging along with school and with classes at the Y (basketball for Aaron, ballet and tap for Jada). We enjoyed Thanksgiving at Amy's parents' house.

Disorder

2011-11-28T05:44:00.000-05:00

Amy and I are both neat freaks. We like things in order, and don't remember a time when we weren't like this. Our kids, who are not ours biologically, clearly don't share this aspect of us, either through nature or nurture.

Thanksgiving weekend has become the time of the year that we purge their floor, making huge piles of trash, recyclables, and donations. This year was no different. It felt good to see their floor restored to some semblance of order.

It lasted all of six hours. The kids made a mess, failed to clean it up, and then somehow failed to get on it even though I tore a fire in their ears out of exasperated anger. Theyarethisclose to getting no toys for Christmas: why should they get more stuff when they can't take care of the stuff they already have?

It hasn't been our best parenting moment, as we frantically cycle through despair, pleading, bribery, threats, carrots, sticks, and visual cues. I kind of want to ask the parents out there if they have any bright ideas, but I have a feeling I'm going to just despise you if you share an insight with me because I'll wish your kids' neatness and discipline for myself. If there is any consolation, it is Monday morning and I can return to the neatness of my desk at work.

Media Intake

2011-11-25T05:40:00.000-05:00

Not having cable, not owning an iPad, and not watching TV means the kids don't have much access to the latest and greatest shows, which means they're not too bombarded with ads for the latest and greatest toys. Which is good. Old-schooler that I am, I'm particularly pleased that their interest include a number of throwbacks that we've turned them on to via Netflix, like Pink Panther.

I'm sure it won't be long before peer pressure increases their pressure to be "in the know" when it comes to contemporary entertainment. But for now, I'm glad the kids are relatively unsullied by modern media.

Eat the Word

2011-11-21T05:45:00.000-05:00

"Who knew the Bible could be so delicious?" When your kids are saying stuff like this, you know you have a good Sunday School teacher. Indeed, our creative Children Youth and Family Director struck again, with another fun Family Night at church. There were three stations, where kids constructed edible treats from things like marshmallow spread and Jello pudding while learning Bible stories. (Somehow, the kids kept going back to the sweeter stations while avoiding the one that involved cut vegetables.) Hopefully, long after the sugar high has worn off, the lessons will stick.

Mama's Girl

2011-11-20T05:19:00.000-05:00

Aaron may be a mama's boy, but Jada needs her "mama time" too. It's a challenging for working moms to find time for quality time for their kids. I am so proud of Amy for, after a long and tiring first week at her new job, sacrificing some of her "me time" at the Y to take Jada swimming during Aaron's basketball practice. Jada reveled not only in the water but in being able to frolick with, talk to, and catch up with her mama.

Amy then got her showered and changed into her ballet outfit, and I picked her up outside of the women's locker room and took her to her ballet class. She floated there, she was so happy to have had her "mama time." Well done to my wonderful wife.

Party, Party

2011-11-14T05:21:00.000-05:00

For someone who is usually in bed reading by 8 and asleep by 9, staying out past 9 is a feat. Doing it twice in a row is quite rare. But that's exactly what this weekend brought.

Friday night, we attended a 10th anniversary celebration for our dear friends from church, which was held in the Great Court at Pennsylvania Hospital. The whole affair was tinged with nostalgia, as it was the location of their wedding ceremony 10 years back, and a slide show featured a lovely montage of photos from that day and from joyous days since then. Even the present seemed like a flashback, as everywhere you turned, there were images of kids playing and grown-ups socializing that you just knew you were going to be able to call to mind 10+ years from now. Our kids enjoyed seeing their friends all dressed in fancy duds, making new friends, and eating root beer floats. They fell asleep on the bus ride home, and did not put up a fight when we got home, brushing their teeth, putting on their pajamas, and going right back to sleep.

Saturday night was a gala for Aaron and Jada's old school, which we miss dearly. It was a Monte Carlo themed event at WXPN, and after delicious hors d'oeuvres and dinner items, I luckily parlayed our $50 in "chips" into $250 at the blackjack table, which I was then able to trade in for raffle tickets for the night's many gift baskets. We stayed almost until the end, enjoying the fanciness and the freedom of a night out for a good cause. Amy looked stunning, so I spent much of the evening beaming and introducing her to various colleagues who knew me but had not yet met my better half.

Last night was a "school night," so we were back to our "early to bed" routine. We clearly paid for staying out late two nights in a row, feeling a tiredness piled on top of tiredness. And yet, we had so much fun, with the kids and without, that we'd do it all again, and look forward to future such opportunities to party and party.

All Ears

2011-11-11T05:33:00.000-05:00

For all the times Amy and I lament that our kids don’t listen to us, here’s the dirty little secret: they are always listening, and they listen well.

Case in point. Two, actually. Because I can yell louder and spank harder than Amy, the kids tend to fear me more than her. (Amy’s more liberal with the hugs and sweets, too.) But when that asymmetry in fear leads to them not heeding Amy’s words as quickly as mine, that upsets me, because it is a sign of disrespect towards their mother. So one day, I kneeled down to get at their eye level, raised their chins so they were sure to be looking right in my eyes, and in no uncertain terms I told them that they had better listen to their mother, or else they were going to feel my wrath. Sure enough, a few days later, Aaron was lollygagging after bath time, even as Amy was barking instructions about what they were to do next, and Jada scolded Aaron with these words: “Remember what Daddy said about listening to Mommy.”

Second example. This one is the opposite. This time it was Jada who was lollygagging, even as I had given them clear instructions about cleaning up their room. And this time it was Aaron who said: “Remember what Daddy said about putting stuff away.”

Look, I understand that our kids have selective hearing. Or, more correctly, that they have selectively
“acting on what they have heard.” And, more specifically, if they can use what they have heard to get over on the other sibling, then they take action. But what that tells me is that it’s not that they aren’t listening. They are always listening, they just aren’t always acting on it. So Amy and I had better be careful about the words we use around them. Because, in some way, those words are going in, and who is to say if, when, and how they will lead to action.

Still Too Close to Call

2011-11-09T05:36:00.002-05:00

This feels familiar. In 2007, David Oh won by seven votes but then lost by 122 when the absentee ballots were counted. Yesterday, 96 percent of ballots had been counted and David was up by 140. So it's still too close to call.

There's nothing to do but wait and hope for now. Hopefully this will be made official soon. In the meantime, here are some personal highlights and lowlights from the last day of campaigning for David Oh in 2011:

* My daughter greeted me in the morning with “Happy David Oh Day!” Meanwhile, my son bounded downstairs and said, “I’m ready to vote for David Oh now.” (I assure you no four-year-olds voted for David Oh yesterday. I am not sure I can make that statement about other candidates.)

* Low turnout had the kids bummed about standing outside in the cold holding up “Vote for David Oh” signs. In the hour before school started, we must have seen a grand total of 12 voters. I guess the fanfare of going to door to door and passing out stuff was much more interesting to them than standing still not seeing anyone walk by.

At any rate, I'm proud of my kids for tolerating me exploiting their cuteness and their labor on behalf of my candidate. Let's hope that their efforts were not in vain.

Grandparents Double As Scanners

2011-11-08T05:24:00.000-05:00

In addition to doting on our kids, my dad serves us by scanning, cropping, and touching up our photos. We don't have many hard copy photos, but got two copies this one for free at CVS for visiting the store in our Halloween costumes. Naturally, Amy took one for her office and I sent the other to my parents. A week later, they circulated it around to everyone proudly in digital form, including to us. It's a nice service: free, fast, and good quality. I recommend you use your kids' grandparents in the same way.

Basketball and Ballet at the Y (and Much, Much More on a Busy Saturday for the Huangs)

2011-11-06T05:19:00.002-05:00

Soccer classes at the Y ended last week. Yesterday was a new set of classes: basketball for Aaron and ballet for Jada. We held our breath that morning wondering whether they would take to their new activities.

Aaron was immediately put at ease upon arrival, since all of his soccer friends were enrolled in hoops with him. He had a crying moment, when he got hit in the face with the basketball, but was otherwise relatively happy, especially for a first class.

As for Jada, she loved her new outfit, and seemed to like the teacher and students, but didn't like that the class was so demanding: free spirit that she is, she preferred the free form of soccer over the drills in ballet. Alas, we found out at the end of class that we have to get her a black top instead of her pink one, that her shoes weren't quite right, and that the class is actually ballet and tap, so tap shoes also needed to be purchased. So after class, we hoofed it to the shoe store down the street and took care of the shoes.

The rest of the day was quite busy too. I took the kids canvassing in our neighborhood for my friend David Oh, who is running for City Council at Large, en route to Jada's friend's house, as she had been invited over for a play date. I then walked Aaron home, set him up with his favorite TV show, and fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.

I awoke, walked him down the street to pick up Jada, and brought them home, where we all four got ready for holiday portraits at Sears. They went off without a hitch, and we went from there to California Pizza Kitchen to celebrate. Soon enough, it was time to go home, put on jammies, brush teeth, and head to bed. (Well, I snuck out to go to a friend's birthday party down the street, and stuffed myself with good food even though I was full from CPK, but the kids don't need to know that.)

Huang Kid Khronicles is Now on Facebook

2011-11-05T05:45:00.001-04:00

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, in the form of an app called Networked Blogs, I can now have both of my blogs - Musings of an Urban Christian and Huang Kids Khronicles - get automatically posted to my Facebook wall. Heretofore, I was only able to select one blog, and at that it would not automatically post all the time. So get ready for double the dreck if you are a Facebook friend of mine: not only my personal musings on faith in the city, but also the minutae of my kids' lives.

Huang Family Newsletter, October 2011

2011-11-01T05:08:00.000-04:00

Another crazy month for the Huangs. Amy did all the heaving lifting on getting our kitchen renovation completed and getting ourselves resettled in there, all while working and choring at breakneck speed. Lee jammed trips to Washington DC and the U.S. Virgin Islands into an already crazy work schedule, while also juggling teaching Sunday School class, nominating new elders and deacons at church, fundraising for Aaron and Jada's old school, and campaigning for a friend of his who is running for City Council. We got Aaron baptized, and celebrated Jada's sixth Gotcha Day. The kids finished up soccer class at the Y, and will start basketball (Aaron) and ballet (Jada) early next month. We're letting our zoo membership lapse, so we dressed up for Boo at the Zoo (twice!), and had fun trick-or-treating around our neighborhood on Halloween.

Halloween Firsts

2011-11-01T05:02:00.001-04:00

I left work early to grab the kids and get them to our neighborhood's parade. As usual, it was a riot of kids, costumes, ghoulish decorations, and bountiful candy. The kids and I both reveled in seeing friends and neighbors, and their thirst for candy convinced me to make a deal with them: be good before, during, and after dinner, and I would take them around after dark.

Sure enough, they held their end of the bargain, so we went around the neighborhood for the first time ever, and then retired back home to do some giving out of candy of our own. But, it being a school night, I pulled the plug on the fun relatively early, and Amy put them to bed. Even though they were wound up from all the fun, they eventually settled down to sleep. The costumes will get washed and retired, but the memories and the photos will last.

We Say Boo, Brrr, and Bye at the Zoo

2011-10-31T05:30:00.001-04:00

A second visit to Boo at the Zoo doubled as our final visit to the Zoo in awhile, as our membership expires today and we're not renewing. For that reason, even though snow prevented us from going on Saturday, even 40 degree temps couldn't keep us away yesterday. The cold weather did, however, keep me from getting good pics of the kids in their costumes, as they were bundled in their winter coats whenever we were not in an indoor exhibit.

No mind, we still had fun. We got tons more candy; going at the end of the day, some of the booths were just throwing piles of stuff our way to get rid of it. We saw some of our familiar exhibits and even some new ones, which is always fun. And anything is fun when you're wearing costumes.

So boo, brrr, and bye, zoo. As I think back on the 50+ times we've been in the past five years, I recall many, many good times. Maybe the next time, I'll be tagging along with Aaron or Jada and their kids.

Snow Stopper

2011-10-30T05:18:00.000-04:00

It took a freak weather event - snow accumulation in October - to secure me a nap on a Saturday afternoon, my first in several weeks. The combination of a busy social schedule and many things on my house to-do list meant I was forgoing that precious luxury many consecutive weekends, and my body was starting to feel it.

Yesterday was to be no different: after the kids' soccer practices, maybe a family dip in the pool, lunch at Mickey D's, some canvassing for my City Council candidate friend, and one last trip to the zoo before our membership expires. At that rate, we were looking at straight activities until dinner, after which bedtime (theirs) and bedtime (mine) were sure to follow.

But with the rain coming down in increasingly sleety versions, we decided to cut our Y time short, and headed straight home for baths and lunch after soccer practice. The kids retired upstairs for "room time" (translation: I don't care what you do, just be quiet) and then TV, and after a few errands around the house, I decided to head to my preferred nap spot (purple room couch) and was soon fast asleep.

Neither wild horses nor two increasingly boisterous kids could rouse me from my stupor. It wasn't a great nap - too uncomfortable, too much noise, not nearly long enough - but given the dry spell I've been on, I'll take it. After so much go go go, it was good to stop for a bit. Even if it took snow in October to do it.

Fear Father

2011-10-26T05:54:00.000-04:00

Earlier this month, I had a church meeting in the evening. So Amy and I put the kids to bed, I told them that I had a meeting and that mommy was going to stay home with them, and then I headed out.

When I returned home, Amy told me that not long after I left the house, Aaron called out to Amy from the top of the stairs and said he had left a toy downstairs. When Amy reluctantly gave the all-clear for Aaron to come downstairs to retrieve his toy, Amy told me Aaron gingerly looked around to see if I was around before breathing a sigh of relief, finding his toy, and bouncing back to bed. She said it was clear he wanted to see if the coast was clear before he came downstairs, since I am far less accommodating than Amy is concerning after-bedtime sorties outside of the bedroom.

One can go overboard here, of course, but I like that my kids have a healthy sense of fear of me. I want them to be loving and affectionate with me, granted, but I also want them to understand that I am the boss under this roof, and my way is the way. Fortunately, their fear of me does not negate their ability to also see me as silly, caring, or generous.

So I feel like I have struck a good balance so far. Now if I can just extend my fearsomeness to would-be suitors when my kids get old enough for that.

Boo with My Boos

2011-10-24T05:46:00.000-04:00

Boo at the Zoo is always so fun, and with our zoo membership expiring, I figured I just had to jam a trip to the zoo even in the midst of a really busy weekend. I may have worn the kids to a crisp, but they got candy and I got pics, so everyone's happy. We may even return next week just to get one more trip out of our membership card. And with costumes as cute as Aaron's and Jada's, there's nothing wrong with maxing out the wearing of them.

These Two Junior Campaigners Say Vote for David Oh

2011-10-24T05:44:00.000-04:00

What's the secret to pitching a Republican candidate in a Democrat neighborhood? Bring my two cute kids along with me when I go door-to-door. Jada wasn't feeling well, so we only hit a small sliver of the coverage area David Oh's campaign office assigned to me; the rest will have to wait until next weekend. But even though our route was cut way short, the kids got into it, and their friends whose houses we visited were also intrigued about what we were doing with our Saturday afternoon.

So hopefully we'll have time and energy to complete our task next weekend. In the meantime, I urge you to vote for David Oh for City Council at Large on November 1. Aaron and Jada think you should, too.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

2011-10-23T05:36:00.000-04:00

I had to take a three-day trip to the U.S. Virgin Islands this week for work. I left first thing Tuesday morning and returned after midnight on Thursday. Amy had planned to take Wednesday and Thursday off, and when Jada had a fever Monday night and into Tuesday, she had to take Tuesday off as well. Needless to say, after three straight days of solo parenting, Amy was glad to see me return.

As for the kids, you can guess how our reunions went down. I woke up early Friday morning, waited to hear stirring upstairs, and then tiptoed up to see them. Jada immediately popped up and said, "Daddy!" Meanwhile, Aaron turned on his whine siren, and slumped over in his bed.

Amy told me that while I was away, Jada expressed a lot that she missed me. Aaron, on the other hand, was insistent that he didn't miss me, but Amy insinuated that Aaron's behavior suggested otherwise: he was much crabbier and weepier, and just seemed out of sorts. I chalk that up less to him missing me and more to my absence changing up his daily routine.

At any rate, it is good to be back home, and I breathe a sigh of relief that Amy and the kids were good while I was gone. While I was in St. Thomas, it was "out of sight, out of mind," in that I was able to focus on work, be productive, and make the most of my time down there. But upon my return, the more appropriate adage is "absence makes the heart grow fonder," for I have found myself hugging Amy and the kids a little tighter and enjoying each moment a little more.

Asian Sensation

2011-10-20T05:36:00.000-04:00

I am an upper-middle-class Asian American born in America, and many of my friends and family fit this description as well. You can find large concentrations of us in places like Southern California, Boston, and Manhattan, and especially a lot of them in Silicon Valley, where I used to live. You don't find many of us where I now live, which is inner city West Philadelphia.

And this poses a challenge for my kids and me. (My wife, who is Caucasian, faces her own challenges, namely that people can't get their heads wrapped around the fact that she is a white girl with an Asian last name. But that's a story for another time.) Namely, that because the vast majority of Asian looking people around here are much more connected to their countries of origin, and almost certainly likely to speak a non-English language at home, perhaps exclusively. My kids and I, in contrast, have a much weaker connection to our respective countries of origin, and English is by far our dominant language, the few words Jada knows in Mandarin barely outstripped by my own limited vocabulary. (Give me a couple of weeks using my rusty Taiwanese and it can be resurrected, but how many Taiwanese speakers are around here to get me there?)

So we find ourselves a little bit in the middle in terms of our identity. It's a strange sensation. Many Asians I have encountered around here wonder aloud why my kids can't and don't speak anything but English, and sometimes they're not very nice about this. Meanwhile, many non-Asians I have encountered are unable to make any distinction between us and other Asians whose lives couldn't be more different than ours. It's a far cry from places like California and Texas and Hawaii, where second and third and fourth generation Asians are prevalent and so there is a lot of latitude to be lots of different levels of separation from the Asian continent and culture and language.

I'm not necessarily complaining, although I likely get a higher share of racist and ignorant comments than my Silicon Valley counterparts from people who just have no category for an Asian looking person than a few prominent stereotypes from pop culture. It just makes things a little different for us. For two kids who will have to deal with the fact that they were adopted, this is just another flavor to swallow. The fact that I'm also Asian probably helps. And the fact that where we live is such a melting pot also probably helps. But the fact that there aren't a whole lot of Asians like us, and that there are a whole lot of Asians not like us, probably complicates things.

Another Fun Family Night at Church

2011-10-17T05:39:00.000-04:00

Good time at Family Night this month at church. We made mini-pizzas using flatbread, toppings, and a mini-oven. The kids prepared a play about Creation. And then they showed us how they get quiet for worship. The photos and video aren't very good because everything was dimly lit. But trust me when I say the kids had fun, the parents were beaming, and everyone felt God's presence.

Locking Up Another Good Family Time at the Y

2011-10-16T05:08:00.000-04:00

It was a small thing that is making a big difference. I speak of buying a second padlock, so that when we all go to the Y, the Huang boys can use the men's locker room and the Huang girls can use the women's locker room. The family changing room is a bit of a bottleneck and a bit of a mess, so this approach is much preferred, and has the added benefit of giving each of us quality time with one of our children.

So yesterday, we headed to the Y, arriving just as Aaron's soccer practice was about to start. Amy took Aaron to the gym and then lingered them for a bit to watch him and take pictures, before locking up her stuff in the women's locker room and heading to the fitness room. Meanwhile, I took Jada to the kid room and then made a beeline for the men's locker room and then the fitness room.

I got through a quick upper body and ab workout, while Amy arrived and hit the treadmill. Then I changed into my swim trunks, watched the last bit of Aaron's soccer practice, shot some video, took him to the kid room, brought Jada to the gym, kicked the soccer ball with her for a little bit, and then watched her practice start before heading to the pool for laps.

After I was done in the pool, I went back to the locker room to shower and change, and then headed back to the gym to catch the end of Jada's practice. Not long after I arrived, so did Amy, after she had finished her workout in the fitness room. She took Jada into the women's locker room and they put their swimming suits on, while I grabbed Aaron from the kid room and put his swimming suit on.

The three of them splashed around in the pool for about a half-hour while I read a magazine. Then we split off again into our respective locker rooms, bathed the kids, and got them back into their clothes. Having worked up an appetite, we walked down the street for lunch at McDonald's, and then headed home.

Once we got home, I took the kids immediately down the block from our house to play with Jada's school friend and her little brother. Later that afternoon, their mom brought the four kids to our house for a change of venue. Wherever the kids were, they were having a blast, and not requiring much in the way of supervision, so Amy and I were able to get through a number of lingering house chores, like vacuuming and putting away stuff in the kitchen and sweeping the alleys and raking up the leaves.

Not a bad day for the Huang family. And to think that something as small as buying a second lock made such a big difference.

Y at Night

2011-10-15T05:51:00.000-04:00

Yet another perk of YMCA membership is that once a month, there's a Kids Night Out on Friday evening, where members can drop their kids off in pajamas for a couple of hours of crafts and games. So I got the kids home from school a hair early so we could feed them and get their PJ's on, and then I took them on the bus to the Y.

We were running a little late and sure enough the bus pulled out just before we got to the intersection. We chased it for a good block and a half; since our back-up, the elevated train, was a block and a half in that direction, so I figured if we never caught up to the bus, we'd at least be on our way to the el. We finally gave up, and turned around and saw another bus coming right up. Oh well, I guess if we had just waited, we would have been fine.

Off the bus and down the street to the Y, the kids were soon tucked away in one of the multi-purpose rooms, and I took the bus back home and Amy and I walked to a nearby Japanese restaurant we had wanted to try out forever but had never gotten around to. It was fun to just talk, as grown-ups, with no kids around (unless you count all of the twenty-somethings teeny-bopping around us). Given our busy schedules, an uninterrupted hour of adult conversation seemed decadent.

Alas, dinner finally ended, and we walked home and then I rode the bus back to the Y to get the kids. Of course, they had painted a huge paper butterfly, which I had to hold on to while we waited in the dark for the bus home. When we finally got home and Amy took them upstairs to tuck them in, I noticed my pants had all sorts of paint colors on it. Oh well.

Not sure how many more of these Kids Night Outs we'll do, but it's a nice luxury to have. Membership sure has its privileges.

Water Fun

2011-10-12T05:06:00.000-04:00

Being away at our church retreat two weekends ago meant missing our Saturday morning time at the Y. So it was extra special to get back to that routine this past weekend. After soccer practice, the kids got extended time in the pool, Jada jumping in without fear and Aaron cackling in the corner every time she made a splash. Ah, to be a kid again, without a care in the world and doing an infinite loop of diving and swimming all morning.

Aaron's Baptism

2011-10-11T05:20:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, we got around to doing something we'd been meaning to do for quite some time, which was to have Aaron baptized. I'll skip the hard-core theological aspects of this rite, except to say that I personally do believe in infant baptism although I do not begrudge those who believe that only those who can themselves profess faith should be baptized.

What I want to talk about is what baptizing Aaron means for me and my family. As Amy and I discussed with him the night before, infant baptism is not the child's choice, but the parent's or parents'. Many consider something like the profession of faith to be private and individual, something someone decides by one's self for one's self. But we believe that the profession of faith is public and communal, something parents decide for their children until they are old enough to decide for themselves.

Indeed, during Aaron's baptism ceremony, even though Aaron is old enough to understand and answer questions, there were no questions for him. Instead, the questions were to Amy and me (whether we were ready to commit to raising Aaron in the Christian faith) and to the congregation as a whole (whether they were willing to assist us in that task).

Just to be clear, while Jada professes to believe in Jesus, Aaron professes to not believe. And that's OK for now. There will be time for his own decisions to be made about his own life. For now, he is under our care, physical and spiritual, and this past weekend we stated publicly what we committed to privately some time ago, which is that we intend to do what we can to raise Aaron to follow Jesus.

Gotcha

2011-10-11T05:17:00.002-04:00

Six years ago yesterday, we culminated one journey (going to China to adopt a little baby girl) and started another (becoming parents). It's a bit overwhelming to think of all of the emotions that led up to and surrounded that day, and all that's transpired since. All we can live is the days to come, and we delight to have a front row seat as God grows our little one, and our love for her. Gotcha, Jada!

They're Not Your Dad

2011-10-09T05:08:00.000-04:00

Dads with kids Jada's age, are you starting to get this line: "So-and-so's dad lets her do such-and-such." When Jada pulls this with me, it irks me to no end. After all, she lives like a princess, so for her to complain rings hollow to me.

I've said something to that effect a couple of times with Jada. But usually, I go with something else. "Well, so-and-so's dad is not your dad. I'm your dad. So what I say, goes."

Thankfully, Jada hasn't gone into full-on teenager mode yet. This statement seems to matter to her, enough so that when Aaron says something about her teacher or some other important adult in his life, Jada is quick to say, "That's nice, but they're not your dad. Daddy's your dad so what he says, goes."

As much as kids have it in their nature to want to rebel, to be independent, to desire more than what their parents give, I think kids do really want boundaries and structure and rules. One can go overboard, of course, but by and large I sense that Jada is happier when I am firm about my position of authority. She knows I love her (which I do), and she believes I know what I'm doing (which I do more often than I don't, at least), so there is a comfort level when I am clear about what I think is right and not right.

There's a life lesson in there somewhere, but let me just leave it at that. For now, I'm just glad I rein in my desire to go bat crazy when Jada pulls that line on me, and glad also that she's not yet a teenager.

Money 101

2011-10-05T05:34:00.000-04:00

I inherited my analytical bent from my dad, but both my parents gave me a firm rooting in money management. My mom took me to the bank, where I learned how to save quarters and keep a checkbook balanced. My dad sat me in front of the TV with a pencil and a pad so I could record the stock prices as the scrolled across the bottom of the screen during the afternoon business shows. This was, of course, before the Internet. Now what’s a dad to do in 2011 that would be like that?

Well, I’ve decided to ease my kids into money management. No, there’s no allowance, no checkbook-keeping, and no finding stock prices on Bloomberg or Yahoo! Finance. Instead, I’ve decided to start smaller.

First, if they put their shoes away every day the whole week, I give them two coins that they can put in the church offering. We used to just give them coins to put in the offering plate, but now I want them to own that act of generosity. And making sure they put their shoes away seems like an easy but meaningful act to commit to.

Second, with Jada I am killing two birds with one stone. So far, her weekly first grade homework has been easy, so she is done well before her Friday deadline (four pages’ worth are supposed to be done at a rate of one per day, and she is often done by Tuesday or Wednesday). So each week, I have downloaded additional reading and math worksheets online (two of each), and I tell her she will earn 50 cents for each completed sheet, for a total of up to two dollars a week. I don’t actually give her the money, but put it in a clear jar so she can see it add up.

The kicker is that when Christmas rolls around, she can buy whatever toy she wants with that money. (Her piggy bank is separate. That's for saving. The jar is for spending. That's right, we're doing fund accounting!) It is not likely she will know well enough to shop around for a good price, free spirit that she is. But it is possible that seeing that she has a certain amount of money and no more may cause her to learn how to make wise choices about how to maximize her happiness within the confines of a budget. (I also take away a penny every time she leaves the light on. Fiscal prudence and energy conservation, all in one lesson!)

If you’re wondering, I’m not a fan of allowances, because I never got one. And I’m not a fan of earning money for chores, because chores are supposed to be done regardless of remuneration. Maybe when the kids get older, I’ll open up the playbook and give them more money and more freedom, but I know for sure they’re not ready. But that doesn’t mean they’re not ready for some lessons on saving and spending and giving and receiving.

Cherish Every Moment

2011-10-04T05:17:00.000-04:00

Last week, I caught Amy looking wistfully at a photo collage I made for her for her first Mother's Day. Her gaze lingered especially at a picture of her and Jada on our first night together, Jada's tired body slumped atop Amy, as if to say, "I have no idea who you are or where I am, but I'm tired and you seem safe." I asked Amy what she was thinking as she looked at these pics, and she said she wished, if even for only a couple of hours, she could go back in time and snuggle with the baby version of Jada.

Ah, but kids age in one direction only. Maybe one day we will look back and wish for an hour or two of this age's version of our kids. But today is the only day we've been given with them at this particular age; tomorrow they're a day older, and the day after a day older still.

Earlier this month, I caught up with a friend of mine who has teen kids, and he confirmed what I'd already suspected: the very moment your kids are old enough that you don't have to account for them at every moment is the very moment you're going to want to be able to account for them at every moment. And so as future-oriented as I am by nature, and as much as I long for my kids to be out of the house and on their own, it is not hard to remember to cherish every moment with them. After all, by tomorrow, today's version of them will be gone.

Huang Family Newsletter, September 2011

2011-09-30T05:45:00.000-04:00

What a whirlwind for the Huangs. Amy and I struggled to keep up with our burgeoning work responsibilities, stay on top of things with the kids, and manage a major kitchen renovation. I took the kids to San Jose to see my parents and other family and friends. Jada loves first grade so far, and it took a while but Aaron is starting to make friends at his new preschool. We go to the YMCA every Saturday now, as each of them has soccer practice; we work out while they're there, and then we all get into the pool after. My sister made a short visit from California, and it was fun to try out some of our local eats and even catch a late-night movie with her. Throw in the usual assortment of downtown excursions, church gatherings, barbecues, and one last zoo run before our membership expired, and it was a full and fun month all around.

Family Fun at Family Night

2011-09-27T05:01:00.000-04:00

Sunday night was our new Children, Youth, and Family Director's first "Family Night" at our church. To make sure it was extra special, she brought in a secret weapon: her very artistic (and very patient) mother, who helped out with a very complicated craft, that of making journals. Believe it or not, this craft involved shaving cream, leather imprinting, and a riveter. At one point, I saw Jada working an electric drill, and had a moment of panic, until I saw how smoothly she worked it.

Anyway, it was a ton of fun, and all the kids loved the end product. We're all looking forward to the next Family Night next month.

Lost Crab, Life Lesson

2011-09-26T05:52:00.001-04:00

Well, the bad news is that Jada once again left Desol (our pet tree crab) unattended, and Desol was temporarily lost (until Amy found him). Clearly, Jada has some learning to do in terms of remembering to have responsibility over something else. Witness also her constant leaving behind of various possessions of hers: toys, pens, books. Even for a little kid, she's pretty flighty in this area.

The good news is that Jada felt her mistake deeply, and owned up to it. She came racing down the stairs from the third floor, crying that she had forgotten about Desol and now couldn't find him. Her panic seemed driven by equal parts having lost something cherished, and having made a mistake that I had scolded her about previously. Feeling bad on both fronts is a good thing for a little girl who needs to learn such lessons.

The happy ending is that we did end up finding Desol. Hopefully, the even better outcome is that Jada takes in this life lesson, and becomes a more responsible person as a result.

Y + Zoo

2011-09-25T05:46:00.000-04:00

After a late night eating out at Manakeesh, we had a full Saturday. We spent all morning at the Y, with soccer practice and then swimming. It was fun to toggle between watching the kids play soccer, getting some lifting and swimming of my own in, and watching Amy and the kids splash in the water.

In the afternoon, with our zoo membership expiring, I decided to take the kids one last time. I arranged a playdate with a friend of mine, whose kids are 4 and 2. We spent much of the time corralling the four kids and trying in vain to take non-blurry photos of them. It was a blast.

Once we got home, it was time to clean house after a week's worth of craziness had left things a mess. Y and zoo might be loads of fun, but you can't have an unkempt house, you know. After all the fun they had, I was glad they took to the task of cleaning with sufficient gusto. Not a bad Saturday for the little ones.

Truce with the Animal Kingdom

2011-09-21T05:40:00.000-04:00

I don't know how they were able to broker a truce with him, but the birds are no longer Aaron's favorite thing to yell at. One day as we were walking home from school, Aaron pointed out a flock of birds on the ground in front of us. He said, "I'm not going to scare them because they're eating now." Apparently he respects the birds' right to eat without being bothered. Sure enough, we passed right by them without a peep from Aaron. Funny what goes on inside that little head of his.

Home, Work

2011-09-20T05:15:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was Jada's introduction to homework. Starting this week, they get four pages of homework, which are due by the end of the week. So it's basically a page a day. It's pretty easy stuff: what's the number after 5, fill in "-all" after "f-" and "h-" and "t'." Methinks I'm going to have to create extra problems for her.

Anyway, she struggled a little emotionally over this, because she misread one of the sections and did the problems wrong and had to scratch over her words and write in new words. She so wants to be perfect and to please that these mistakes made her cry. It was a good time for both Amy and me to offer her hugs and affirmation, and to use the opportunity to talk to her about the importance of not being afraid to make mistakes.

However easy the actual work is, I think it's a good discipline for her to work on it as soon as we get home, at the dinner table while we're getting food ready. I can't believe how grown-up she is getting, even if her little spat led Amy and I both to hold her for a minute each just like we used to when she was a little baby.

A Rough Transition

2011-09-19T05:20:00.000-04:00

It's been a hard month for Aaron going from being BMOC at his old school to being the newbie at his new school. Plus this past weekend required adjusting to the new routine of having soccer practice on Saturday mornings.

Transitions are tough for the little guy, especially when they involve him not getting as many positive strokes and having to adjust to new settings, new rules, and new people. So there has been more moping and more tears, as is evident at the end of this video from a barbecue we went to out in the burbs where our friends live.

Usually, it doesn't take long for Aaron to acclimate, so while the acclimating can mean some tantrums, the pain is fleeting. Here's hoping that's the case in all of his new surroundings.

Busy Social Calendar

2011-09-18T05:40:00.000-04:00

With the school year now filling our weekdays, was there ever any doubt our weekends would be packed as well? Here's how Saturday played out:

Morning - The kids experience breakfast in the new kitchen for the first time, even though it's not all the way done. We brush teeth, put our exercise gear on, and take the bus to the YMCA, where first Aaron and then Jada have their first day of soccer practice. The coaches and students couldn't be nicer. Nevertheless, Aaron spends the majority of the session moping on the sideline. Jada, unsurprisingly, dives in whole hog, and has a blast. We change into swimsuits for a quick dip in the pool, grab a bite at the McDonald's down the street, and grab the bus home. Jada can't stop saying, "I love the Y!" Since we are members and I have a transpass, going there is literally free, so I have to concur.

Afternoon - We get home just in time for us to change clothes and then I have to take Jada downtown for a birthday party at a bowling alley. The bus takes us right to the party destination. I drop off Jada and head to Reading Terminal Market to buy some fresh produce and read my book. I decide to make a detour to Chinatown to buy Amy and Aaron some pastries. I return to the party a little early, to observe Jada bowling and socializing with her friends. As we ride the bus home, Jada goes through her goodie bag and, being a good big sister, identifies that Aaron would like the dinosaur toy, so she tells me she will give it to him. They reunite at home, play with their new toys, and watch Dora on the computer while Amy and I get dinner ready and wonder when there will be free time.

Back to Back to Back to School

2011-09-16T05:32:00.000-04:00

Somehow, though we only have two kids, we had three back-to-school things in a row this week. Tuesday was actually a back-to-school ice cream social for Jada's school: good times eating sweets while catching up with old friends after the summer. Wednesday I had a meeting late so Amy went to Aaron's potluck and orientation. Thursday I attended Jada's back-to-school meeting in her classroom: the parents heard a presentation from Jada's teacher while Jada and Aaron ate PB&J's and pears in the corner.

Mercifully, while there's yet another back-to-school gathering - a potluck for Jada's after-school program - it's not until early October. Even though it was fun to pack dinners, it'll be fun tonight to actually go home from school and eat at home.

Ice Cream, Social

2011-09-14T05:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I packed a dinner for me and the kids so that we could picnic after I picked them up but before I brought them to Jada's school's ice cream social. They played with friends on the school's playground while working in bites of PB&J and pears, and then we walked to the blacktop area where the line for ice cream stretched out halfway down the block. It was a blur of kids playing, parents getting reacquainted, and lots of sticky little fingers. It was a nice start-of-school gathering. And hey, we all got some free ice cream. Not bad for a school night.

Respect

2011-09-12T05:48:00.000-04:00

I've been having a spirited and insightful discussion with my friends on Facebook, stimulated by this question I posted a few days back:

Here's a 25-point toss-up for educators, parents, and anyone else with an opinion: who gets to decide what someone is called? Aaron's new teachers insist on being called by their first names, even though I prefer that I and Aaron call them Ms. So-and-So. Do people have the right to choose what they are called, or is it within my bounds to have my children call them something else (and to model it, and show my own level of respect, by calling them Ms. So-and-So as well)? I'm torn.

A wide range of friends chimed in with a wide range of opinions. Some felt it was well within my rights to insist on conferring respect through the use of a title (Mr. Joe, Ms. Kim, Dr. Lucy, Officer Mike, et al), while others felt it was a sign of respect to honor a person's request to be called by their first name. Said another way, the first group felt it was disrespectful to not use a title, while the second group felt it was disrespectful to ignore what a person told me they wanted to be called. By the way, age seemed to play some role in approaching the question (the bigger the age difference, the more correct it seemed to use a title) but not totally (many of us use titles even when talking to someone younger than us).

While I'm still torn as to what to do, I think the best lesson I took from this excellent back-and-forth is that the key thing is, titles or no, to have a sit-down with my kids about showing respect, so that, titles or no, they understand its importance and act accordingly. And, since I am their role model, I ought to remember the same. Thanks to all who chimed in to guide me along on this important life issue.

Sleeping In, Springing Up

2011-09-12T05:38:00.000-04:00

It may be starting already for my kids. I refer to the ability to wake up early on mornings we don't have to be anywhere (i.e. weekends), and the inability to do so on mornings we actually do (i.e. school days). Coming back from back-to-back vacations, on the mornings of the first four days of school last week, the kids were found asleep at 7 and I had to wake them up, sometimes with great difficulty.

And yet, this past weekend, they were both up a little after 6. There was no discernible difference in our evening routine or in the time they went to bed. The only difference was that they could have slept in. And they didn't.

This morning will be the real test. Did they wake up early this past weekend because they are no longer jet-lagged and are back to their usual schedule? Or is there something about having to wake up that causes a kid to want to sleep deeply well past the hour they're supposed to get up, and something about not having to wake up that causes a kid to spring up at an unnecessarily early hour? We shall soon see.

First Day at New School

2011-09-08T05:54:00.000-04:00

Tuesday was Jada's first day of 1st grade, and yesterday was Aaron's first day at his new school, which is on the same campus as Jada's school and which is where Jada goes after school. So after I dropped off Jada at her school, I brought Aaron and his stuff to his new classroom. The teacher was running late but eventually arrived and gave both Aaron and me an orientation to the classroom. He was quiet, as I expected, although he did take an interest in the classroom's pet rats.

When I picked him up in the afternoon, he seemed fine; by that hour, several of the classes had dismissed to the playground, so he and Jada were both together. But soon after we left for home, he started whining. It turns out he didn't have much for lunch, perhaps due in part to the fact that he didn't know to ask his teacher to warm up his hamburger and his teacher didn't offer to. So between being hungry, tired from a full day of school, and overwhelmed by new faces and places, he was pretty worn down.

The whining continued up until dinner, and abated a little once he had some food in his system. But transitions are hard for the little guy, so I presume there will be more turbulence until he settles in to the new routines and new friendships. Soon enough, he'll be his friendly and loving self. But for now, we'll grin and bear it.

First Day of First Grade

2011-09-07T05:40:00.000-04:00

Even after back-to-back vacations, to Ocean City and San Jose, Jada couldn't wait until school started again. The day before the first day of school, she had her backpack on as soon as she woke up, and must have told me "I can't wait until tomorrow" about three dozen separate times.

Of course, once that magical morning of the first day of school arrived, she overslept. Who wouldn't, after so much travel and so much fun and so little sleep? Still, we made it to school with plenty of time. Unlike kindergarten, when I waited with her until her whole class had lined up in the courtyard and then took video of them marching into the school, I simply dropped her off and told her to look for her new teacher and her new classmates.

And off she went. Two of her close friends are in her same class, which made her happy. As did getting back into the rhythm of waking up, eating breakfast, getting walked to school, going to class, getting picked up, and going home.

In a couple of weeks, real homework assignments will commence. Our little baby is growing up before our eyes.

San Jose Summer 2011

2011-09-06T05:40:00.002-04:00

Another week, another week off. While Amy stayed home and worked (and manned our kitchen renovation project), the kids and I flew to San Jose to see my parents. I've back-posted some pics and blurbs from each day's festivities at my Huang Kids blog. A good time was had by all.

San Jose Summer 2011 - Day 7

2011-09-05T05:16:00.001-04:00

Alas, our fun time in San Jose has come to an end. We woke up as usual, ate breakfast, did some last-minute packing, said our goodbyes to Ama, and Agong took us to the airport. We had plenty of time before our flight to spread out, watch some cartoons, and eat some of the food we had packed for a long journey.

Our layover in Phoenix was extended by an hour due to a delay in our second leg, so I scored the kids some chicken nuggets and a strawberry shake at Wendy's. Soon enough, we were boarding our long second flight back home. By the end, the kids were pretty rammy, so it was good to finally touch down, call Amy, and get reunited with her at pick-up.

Once we got home, it was soon off to bed. (Aaron had even fallen asleep in the car ride home from the airport.) Not sure when we'll be back to San Jose, but glad to sneak this trip in before the school year starts.

San Jose Summer 2011 - Day 6

2011-09-04T05:02:00.002-04:00

Jada and I earned our free rent at my parents' house by working in the garden and the front lawn after breakfast. (Aaron insisted on doing his homework after breakfast instead of before, so he was inside working on his letters while we were pulling weeds and trimming bushes.) We then got a ride to the local mall, where we met up with some college friends at Johnny Rockets. It was fun to catch up with old friends while the kids (in addition to Aaron and Jada, there was a 5-year-old boy and girls aged 1, 2, and 3) romped around.

My dad took us home from the mall, and we watched tennis with my mom until my brother-in-law arrived from Merced, a couple of hours late due to train engine issues. We caught up quickly and then walked together to a nearby park, where I was to meet up with some high school friends. This time there were even more kids for Aaron and Jada to socialize with: a two-year-old girl and six boys (7, 5, 5, 5, 3, and 3). It was a great moment: music blasting, weather picture-perfect, the sounds of laughter (interrupted by the occasional piercing cry from Aaron, who sustained scrapes on both knees and also bumped his head so bad there was a big goose egg right in the middle of his forehead).

We walked home, took baths, and ate dinner. I did laundry and packed after the kids went to bed. It was a fun time in San Jose, and we're looking forward to coming back.

San Jose Summer 2011 - Day 5

2011-09-03T05:50:00.002-04:00

My dad gave my sister and me a "honeydew" list before she left town, so after breakfast, I tended to a bunch of stuff around the house while the kids watched TV, read books, and played cards. In the late morning, we met a friend at Happy Hollow and spent the better part of the day there, the kids reveling in riding kiddie rides, petting goats, and unearthing fake dinosaur bones.

When we went home in the afternoon, my sister headed back home and we paid a visit to my aunt and then my cousin. The kids especially enjoyed my cousin's houses, since they have two small kids, lots of toys, and a really cute dog. We walked home from there and had dinner with my parents and then called it a day. It was a hot day, so the kids were pretty wiped out by bedtime.

San Jose Summer 2011 - Day 4

2011-09-02T05:05:00.003-04:00

Once again, Jada arose early to come into my room to do finger-knitting. Aaron woke up not far after. After they did their homework and watched a little Dinosaur King, we headed downstairs for breakfast. I took a nap after breakfast while they played a little more, and then we headed out with my sister to Rancho San Antonio for a two-mile round-trip hike to Deer Hollow, a farm that had roosters, rabbits, and sheep. I was impressed that the kids made the whole hike without being carried (although there were plenty of requests to do so).

After lunch, we all boarded my parents' minivan, which has been fitted out so that my mom can ride in it in her wheelchair. We headed to Shoreline Park, where there is a smooth path that winds around a lake. The kids enjoyed the playground and the geese, and my dad enjoyed photographing them.

Before dinner, I did a little vacuuming, carpet cleaning, and un-cobwebbing of the house, while Aaron went back to watching Dinosaur King and Jada spent time in my mom's room trying to show her how to do finger-knitting. The kids were so content that after I was done cleaning, I decided to sneak a short run in. We all ate dinner together and then the kids went to bed, falling fast asleep shortly thereafter, legs probably a little sore from all the walking from the day.

San Jose Summer 2011 - Day 3

2011-09-01T05:08:00.003-04:00

I squeezed a run in first thing in the morning before the kids woke up, but barely: as I returned home at 5:30a, Jada was just starting to stir. I shooed her out of her room because she had turned the light on and Aaron was still sleeping, so I let her come into my room to do her finger-knitting. Soon after, Aaron was up, and they puttered around my room and their room doing their homework and watching Dora on Netflix before we went down for breakfast.

After breakfast, we stayed up on the second floor while my dad tended to my mom. I fell asleep while Aaron watched more TV and Jada played cards. We left the house around 9:30a to meet a friend of mine at the Oakland Zoo. We had a grand old time catching up while our kids explored the place. I even took the kids on the Sky Ride, which is like a ski lift; though I warned them we would be way up high, it was actually me who got scared at being so far off the ground, while the kids giggled their way through the 20-minute tour above the zoo.

We got back home in the early afternoon and spent the rest of the day with my mom. My sister made pizza for dinner and soon it was off to bed. All they do here in California is eat, sleep, and play, so it's no surprise they want to move here.

San Jose Summer 2011 - Day 2

2011-08-31T05:36:00.005-04:00

The kids are notorious for waking up insanely early on our first day in California, but this morning they were up at 5:30a, which is reasonable. By 7a, we were down for breakfast, right around when my mom was waking up in the next room over from the dinner table. We ate and caught up, and then holed up upstairs while my dad took care of a few things with my mom.

Around 9ish, after rush hour traffic had blown over, we headed south to see my high school friend in Gilroy. He walked us to a nearby park so the kids could play while we caught up. We ended up back at his house for lunch, and my sister, who was driving in from Merced, met us there.

From there, we hit the nearby premium outlet mall before heading back, just ahead of my parents, who were returning from a doctor's appointment. I spent the rest of the afternoon in my mom's room talking, with the kids coming in and out at times to join in.

We all ate dinner, and then talked some more over dessert while the kids were upstairs playing. Soon enough, it was time for them to go to bed, and once again I was not far behind them.

Huang Family Newsletter, August 2011

2011-08-31T05:18:00.000-04:00

Summer ended with a bang for the Huangs. We had lots of birthday parties, started a massive kitchen renovation project, and joined the YMCA. Amy stepped down to four days a week, which gives her some breathing room during the work week to catch up on sleep and errands. Lee picked up a slew of fun new gigs at his job. We concluded the month with our annual week-long vacation at Ocean City, New Jersey, where we crammed in lots of beach and boardwalk fun during the first half of the week when the weather was gorgeous, which more than made up for having to cut our vacation short by a day on account of a countywide Irene-related evacuation.

San Jose Summer 2011 - Day 1

2011-08-30T05:39:00.005-04:00

After holing up at home after our Ocean City vacation, it was off to San Jose for a week with my parents. Amy couldn't join us because she had to work. She dropped us and our belongings (big backpack for me, small backpacks for the kids) at the airport.

Jada was positively giddy about being in an airport again. She skipped through the terminal with a big grin on her face. Aaron was excited, too, but a little more muted, and he soon tired of dragging his rolling backpack.

The kids were quite good. They followed my orders through security and to and from gates, they ate all their fruit that I had packed, and they never once cried or threw a tantrum or kicked the seat in front of them. At one point, Jada even said to me as they were watching TV on a portable DVD, "can I read my book instead?"

Between books, coloring, cards, and DVDs, the travel time went by fast. Having a layover (and sharing a big smoothie) in Denver helped break things up.

Because we gain three hours traveling west, we left Philly in the early afternoon and arrived in San Jose in time for dinner. My dad picked us up and whisked us home, and my Mom was glad to see us all. I fed the kids a light supper, sent them upstairs to change into pajamas and play while I ate, and then read them bedtime stories.

They were out pretty quick, and soon after so was I. Looking forward to the rest of the family fun this week.

Childhood is Whizzing By

2011-08-30T05:06:00.001-04:00

Even (especially?) on vacation, life can seem frantic when you have small kids. The week before was a whirlwind of packing, getting the kitchen ready for major renovations, and saying goodbye to two schools' worth of friends. Vacation itself carries its own stresses, from living in close quarters to forgetting to pack essential items to having your carefully calibrated schedule thrown off. (Even if it is with beach fun and ice cream on the boardwalk; not that anyone was complaining.)

My friend once said on a playdate, when our four kids were racing around getting into all sorts of trouble, "these are the best days of our lives, aren't they?" I laughed because he was dripping with sarcasm, but I have since then taken the statement to heart. These are good times: we're young, our kids are at a fun age, and we are blessed with material wealth and physical health.

I often say that our kids will never be this age again, since they only age in one direction. And yet to make the most of each day, especially for a fretful, future-oriented person like me, is like grabbing sand. Still, I try.

I recall a moment one night at Ocean City last week. We were at the boardwalk after a long, luxurious day in the hot sun on the beach. Pizza and ice cream in stomachs, we headed for the rides, and Jada and Aaron eventually settled on the carousel and the airplanes. As I watched them spin around and around, I took a moment to soak it all in. It was like a scene from a movie: the noises muffled, the scene slowed, and I thought about my kids. I love them, I think they're beautiful, and it is a fun age to see them go through.

I got a little sad, thinking that some day, they won't be this age, where they can just enjoy the innocence of laughing at each other as they whirl around and around. I said a prayer that they would find someone who would love them and with whom they could have kids, so they could experience the sweet joy I was experiencing in watching my two have the time of their lives. That, too, made me a little sad, thinking that my relationship with them will change a little as they make room for someone with whom they will build a new life together. And yet that letting go also was cause for happiness, because it would mean my work was done and I could watch from a safe distance as they found a new kind of joy and happiness.

Soon enough, the movie scene ended: the sounds returned to normal, and everything snapped back to regular time. The kids got off the ride, looked around, and smiled big once their eyes locked with mine. Tomorrow will come, but that day I was able to catch a moment and hold it, even if for just a moment.

New Family Member

2011-08-29T05:24:00.000-04:00

While at the Shore, we picked up a new family member: Desol the hermit crab. We had actually found a hermit crab on the beach one day, and it was fun to try to keep him alive. But we simply lacked the equipment. So the next day, when we were on the boardwalk, we inquired about how to take care of a hermit crab, and soon enough we were buying a whole kit, including a medium-sized hermit crab.

We released our first crab back into the ocean, and christened our new family member Desol (pronounced "Dezzle"). And ever since, Amy and the kids have been smitten. (I am a Huang, so I am bound to be stoic about pets.) Jada even joked that Desol has a "Gotcha Day," which would be August 23. Leave it to Jada to make the connection between her and Aaron's adoption and a hermit crab's.

Weather Update

2011-08-28T05:20:00.001-04:00

Thanks to those who reached out to make sure we are OK. It's been quite a week here on the East Coast, between an earthquake and a hurricane.

Irene shooed us out of our Jersey Shore vacation a day early, and now it has us hunkered down indoors. Yesterday morning brought a flurry of outside activity in order to be safely sequestered now: did the grocery and drugstore runs, got Chinese food, and took the kids for one more swim at the Y.

Our cabin fever is somewhat lessened and somewhat magnified by the fact that we have been taking our meals up on our third floor: we are in the midst of a major kitchen renovation, so our stuff is in boxes, our fridge is still on the first floor, and we've moved our base of operations to the play area of our kids' floor, where there is a sink, counter space, and a table.

It's been fun to eat dinner together up there, even though the area is really cluttered, between all their toys and all our essential kitchen items (including microwave, coffee pot, and George Foreman griller). Whenever the electricity went out in California growing up, the Huangs would huddle up, read stories by flashlight, and sleep in sleeping bags to keep each other from feeling scared. So there's a little bit of coziness associated with weather-related adjustments to the usual home set-up.

Still, here's hoping Irene blows over soon. There's water everywhere, we're ready to resume our normal rhythms, and there are plenty in this city and other cities all up and down the East Coast who are in deeper water than us. In the meantime, we wait, somewhat unnerved by the feeling of helplessness as we are square in Irene's flight path, trusting in the God who is at once the source of and the protector from such an awesome natural force.

Beach Vacay

2011-08-27T05:09:00.002-04:00

Today would've been our getaway day from our annual week-long vacation in Ocean City. But Irene had other plans. So we got away a day early. I've back-posted some pics and blurbs from each day's festivities at my Huang Kids blog. A good time was had by all.

Ocean City 2011- Day 7

2011-08-27T05:04:00.001-04:00

With Irene lurking and an evacuation announced, there was nothing left to do on Friday except wake up, do laundry, pack, and get out of Dodge. We ended up leaving around noon. Not much traffic heading off of Ocean City, but tons of traffic on Garden State Parkway heading north, and then Atlantic City Expressway heading west (these being two major ways people south of us were getting out of the way of Irene).

We arrived home to a half-done kitchen (we're getting major work done there), so set up a mini-kitchen up on the third floor in the kids' play area since there was counter space, a sink, and a table. I took the kids to the Y for a dip in the pool while Amy unpacked, and then we got Subway and Dunkin Donuts for dinner. Even though having no kitchen was a major inconvenience, it was kind of fun to eat dinner up on the third floor.

After we put the kids to bed, Jada began to cry. Amy went to check on her and was intercepted by Aaron, who said that Jada was sad because she missed the beach. Well, our beach vacation got cut short by a day on account of Irene, but it was still a week's worth of fun and then some, so we have some fond memories and we even made a little girl cry because it was so good she longed for it all over again.

Ocean City 2011 - Day 6

2011-08-26T05:07:00.002-04:00

Our friends left bright and early in the morning - just as I had come back from my morning run - and their timing was good, as the day was dominated by grey skies and news about Hurricane Irene. Jada and Aaron were all beached out anyway, so it turned out to be a good day to watch TV and read books.

Amy's parents were nice enough to take the two kids to Cape May Zoo so Amy and I could hit the boardwalk sans children. It was fun to bike the four miles from our beach house to the heart of the boardwalk, window shop, and eat pizza on our own. It started raining as we were heading home, but getting soaked only added to the fun. (We're weird like that.)

Amy's parents and Aaron and Jada were finishing up delivery pizza themselves when we arrived. We walked down the street for ice cream, did bedtime, and then tuned in on TV and Internet to figure out when we would need to evacuate and what we could squeeze out of our beach vacation in the meantime.

Ocean City 2011 - Day 5

2011-08-25T05:55:00.003-04:00

Four kids in a room, two of whom are up late and two of whom are up early? I held my breath. Thankfully, they fell asleep the night before relatively quickly, and slept in until 6:15 am, which was plenty late for me. After serving them breakfast, we took them to the nearby park to run around, and then hit the beach because the beautiful day was already starting to show itself.

We ended up spending several hours there, fortified by roast beef sandwiches and taking turns frolicking in the water and digging holes in the sand. Before dinner, we took them to a bigger park a couple of miles away, and then after dinner, we took them for a walk on the beach. What a glorious day of friends and fun.

Ocean City 2011 - Day 4

2011-08-24T05:36:00.004-04:00

It's a rare day when the kids wake up before me, but it happened today, on account of being up late working. Amy and the kids were merciful, heading out to the park so I could catch a cat nap after breakfast. It was an even more beautiful day, so we headed out to the beach fortified for a long day out (even though it was only a two-minute walk from our beach spot to our front door).

Later that morning, our friends from our neighborhood arrived, unpacked, and quickly joined us on the beach. Their three kids and our two proceeded to get into all manner of fun activities, from splashing around in the water to digging big holes to eating the roast beef sandwiches I had made.

The fun continued into the afternoon, as we took everyone to the boardwalk. We ate pizza and ice cream, took pictures, and rode rides. We even bought ourselves a pet: a tiny hermit crab the kids named Dezzle. The kids were amped up from all the fun, and the grown-ups reveled in their happiness and in the easy breezy atmosphere of the boardwalk in the late afternoon and early evening.

We returned home at a reasonable hour. Four out of the five kids slept in the same room, which was a situation fraught with problems, but they were all too tired to put up too much of a fuss: within minutes, everyone was asleep. And, after the long and fun day we had had, so were the grown-ups.

Ocean City 2011 - Day 3

2011-08-23T05:53:00.000-04:00

Day 3 started early: I woke up, biked down to the boardwalk, and banged out a few miles of running. Thankfully, the kids decided to sleep in, so all was still quiet when I returned home. I love a quiet house in the morning after a good run, no matter where the house is.

After breakfast, Amy's dad and I took the kids to the nature preserve on the very southern tip of Ocean City. Then, we hit the beach. The early morning cloudiness gave way to a gorgeous sunny day, so we spent the rest of the day in the water and on the sand. I got a little burnt, as did Amy, while the kids browned beautifully.

We had an early dinner and then headed down to the boardwalk to window shop, eat curly fries and ice cream, and ride some rides. The kids gloried in it all, which made me smile. We headed home and put them to bed, and then I fired up the laptop for hopefully the one and only time this vacation, to get some work in that had been waiting for me. Life's good on the beach.

Back in His Place at His Place

2011-08-23T05:19:00.000-04:00

I think I have a reason for why Aaron has been so crabby the past few weekends: he likes school better than home.

Let me explain. Aaron loves his school. He loves his teachers, has lots of friends (boys and girls; blacks, whites, Asians, and Latinos), and enjoys all the activities. He enjoys the affection of all around him, and why not: he's nice, he laughs easily, he shows concern when someone is hurt, and is quick to play peacemaker when there's an argument. As a result, hugs abound.

At home is a different story. Jada plays the big sister role to a T, tormenting him with her iciness, bossiness, and the occasional punch. Amy and I spend a good chunk of time barking at him, like the strict parents we are trying to be. Where's the lovefest he gets Monday through Friday?

I write tongue firmly in cheek. Life's good for the little guy, even at home and even on the weekend. Still, let's just say here's one kid who doesn't mind when Monday morning rolls around.

Ocean City 2011 - Day 2

2011-08-22T05:18:00.005-04:00

Day 2 of our Ocean City vacation started early: Jada came into our room at 3:30a to announce she was up. "No, you're not," said Amy, and then rolled over and went back to sleep. I asked Jada to put her clothes on, write in her journal, and then read books (for, say, three more hours).

Two hours later, she came back in and said she was bored. Well, 5:30a is not too early in our family, even if it is for vacation, so I got up and set her up with cartoons while I made breakfast. Aaron wouldn't arise for another hour, the good sleeper he is.

Later that morning, I took the kids to the park nearby, but that didn't seem to grab their attention. I think they had the beach on their mind, so soon enough we were there. We spent the rest of the morning there, Amy joining us later on in the morning with snacks.

Because we beat the lifeguard there, and because I was too tired to want to do anything but read my book, I asked the kids not to go into the water but to just play in the sand. They were happy to comply, but glad when Amy arrived so they could get their water play in.

Noontime brought lunch and then a very long nap by me, while Amy's dad took the kids back to the beach for some more water fun. Amy took the opportunity to bike down to the shops for some window shopping. We ate an early dinner and then partook of birthday cake to celebrate Amy's and her twin brother's birthday.

Our boardwalk plans were washed away by rain, so we stayed inside and watched movies instead. Even with my long nap, I didn't make it too long into the night before crashing. I slept well. I think we all did.

Ocean City 2011 - Day 1

2011-08-21T05:27:00.005-04:00

The Huangs were scurrying at a fierce pace the morning we were to leave for the Jersey Shore. After breakfast, the kids did their final clean-ups of their floor while Amy and I finished packing up the kitchen. Once their floor passed inspection by Amy, they were rewarded with a quick trip to the Y, where they played in the kid room while I swam laps. I then grabbed Jada for a quick dip in the pool. Aaron preferred staying in the kid room; I think he thought the Y worker was pretty.

We caught the bus home and the kids went upstairs to watch TV while Amy continued to clean the house and I went on a mongo set of errands: pharmacy, grocery store, drop off the vacuum for its annual tune-up. That took us to lunchtime, followed by a final cleaning out of the kitchen. We then loaded up all our bags, secured the bikes to the back of our car, and waited for Amy's parents to arrive to drive with us to the Shore.

The drive was actually not that bad, in terms of traffic, and soon enough we were at our house, unloading all our stuff and getting acclimated. The kids pestered for a beach run, and finally we felt settled enough to walk across the street and onto the beach. By now it was 5, so the sun wasn't as menacing but it was still nice enough to sit out on the sand. Aaron busied himself with sand castles while Jada insisted I come deep into the water so we could get pummeled by the waves.

We finished our evening with take-out pizza, and soon enough the kids were in bed and Amy and I snuck in a long evening walk to talk about the different beach houses, hold hands, and generally enjoy a rare private moment out. Not a bad start to our beach vacation.

The Only Solution is More Caring

2011-08-20T05:41:00.000-04:00

The Caring Center is hosting its annual fundraiser gala at World Cafe Live on November 12, and their executive director asked me to serve on the planning committee. Given the transformative influence the place has had on both my kids, I was happy to oblige.

In the midst of so much that is confusing and scary and wrong about the world and city around us, the Caring Center shines as a positive example of the power of early education, caring professionals, and diversity. Contributions to the Caring Center really do make a difference, in the lives of families who have the opportunity to benefit from its care and instruction, as well as in the community as a whole.

Some of you may be hearing from me directly, to gauge your interest to receive a letter from the Caring Center discussing specific giving opportunities, but I also wanted to use this forum to solicit interest. If you have an interest in finding out more about how to write a check, get a ticket, buy an ad, or be a sponsor, please let me know in the comments or send me a direct message. Thank you in advance for your support of this great institution.