Huang Kid Khronicles

On our last full day in Cali, I had made plans to see some dear high school friends of mine and their families. The meeting spot was my friend Ceech's house in Gilroy. Gilroy is also home to some really nice premium outlets, so we headed down a hair early and got something for everyone.

We then made the short drive to Ceech's and spent the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon catching up with old friends and letting all the kids eat and play to their heart's content. Ceech lives in a quiet suburb, so playing on the sidewalks and streets outside was no problem, something of a treat for my two. (So was playing video games; Jada particularly liked Just Dance.)

By the time we got back to my parents' house, my sister had arrived from Merced. I drove my dad to the place where my mom's van was getting fixed up while the kids watched Pink Panther. When we returned home, I bathed the kids and packed for our trip home. Then it was time for dinner, cooked by my sister. Soon, it was off to bed, with thoughts of home already in our head.

After all of that travel all throughout the Golden State, we are content to lay low today. I am up early, even for me, so watch a movie (Inception) before the kids wake up. We eat breakfast, hang out with my parents, and then get dropped off at my cousin's house, where my kids can play with his kids. We leave there a little before noon, walk to my aunt's house (my cousin's mom) to drop off our Christmas card, and then walk home for lunch.

While the kids watch Pink Panther, I spend extended time catching up with my mom, and then am given another to-do list of yard chores. First my dad and then my mom add to this list while I am working on it, so by the time I'm done, there's a sizeable pile of brown compostables that has been piled up on the streets next to their house. I feel the satisfaction of having done good labor; I also feel not a little achy!

I do two loads of laundry while we eat dinner and have bedtime stories, and while the kids go happily to sleep, I am folding and packing already. We are nearing the end of our trip, with one more full day here before we ship out. It's been fun, but it'll be good to get home.

My sister had to get to work bright and early in the morning, so we were up with her, eating breakfast and packing up and heading out by 7ish. We "only" had to drive 2+ hours today, which we did without much traffic or hassle, stopping once for bathroom and gas. We got back to San Jose by 9ish and, since we were meeting friends for a late breakfast, we killed time at a local park. The kids and I had fun swinging and jumping and laughing and tickling.

10:30 rolled around and we headed for a McDonald's with a playground, where we caught up with a dear high school friend of mine and his wife and four kids. We somehow managed to drag out breakfast for over three hours, and then headed home to see my parents and unpack. Before the sun set, I squeezed in some yard work, per my dad's request, removing some brush in the back (and ordering my kids to pick up rotten lemons that had fallen to the ground).

All that yard work required a bath afterwards, which was followed by another delicious dinner cooked by my dad. The kids and I hung out downstairs and watched TV with my mom, and then we did bedtime and turned in early. After sleeping in four different places in four different cities over the last four days, it was nice to set up the kids' beds knowing we'd be sleeping in the same place for the next three days.

I think it's clear that Jada's favorite Christmas gift of them all (and there were many) was her own private diary, complete with lock and key for extra privacy. The thought of being able to record her thoughts with complete assurance that no one else would read them absolutely delighted her. In fact, multiple times this past weekend she turned down opportunities to watch TV or play with toys in order to add to her diary. And, the sentence, "I can't wait to write about that in my diary," has become a common one in this house. As a blogger myself, I find this very cool.

The kids squeeze in a little bit more time playing with their cousin - drawing, board games, and books - before and after breakfast, before we head back up north. It was a quick strike to Southern California and now it's time for more fun up north.

We get from Woodland Hills to Merced in four and a half hours, stopping once for gas and once for a hot dog. We arrive at my sister's house at 1, giving us the whole afternoon to play. The kids get a quick snack to refuel, and then we pull carrots and beets from her garden and then head out to Lake Yosemite for a hike. The highlight of our hike had to be when some cows that were off at a distance kept grazing their way closer and closer to us until they were literally just on the other side of the fence from us. The kids delighted in seeing them so close, staring at us while we were staring at them. I thought to myself: they won't get this experience in Philadelphia!

We head home, change into pajamas, have a delicious home cooked meal, and play Uno before turning in early for bed. My sister has to work bright and early the next morning, but we'll see her again in San Jose before the week is out. The next morning, it will be time to return to San Jose and to my parents' house, to tell them all about the fun things we did all over the state.

The two youngest of the four kids, who were born with two weeks of each other, are up first, unable to restrain themselves. The rest of the house, which includes the two older kids, me, my cousin and her husband, and my aunt and uncle, wake up at various stages over the remainder of the morning. After breakfast and video games, we take another stroll to another park, before returning home to await still more family members.

By lunchtime, two more of my cousins have arrived with their husbands and kids, as well as another set of aunt and uncle. Of course, this being a family gathering, we have ample food to go along with the 18 family members. It is a delightful time of food, Christmas presents, ping pong, and catching up. The talk of the house is the announcement of two more babies on the way, so the third generation of cousins will be +2 in 2012.

The party breaks up around 3, and the kids and I pack up, say our goodbyes, and head to Seal Beach Pier to meet up with two college friends of mine and their families. We delight in the sunny weather and the sandy scene, and even partake in sledding down a big sand dune. Before the sun goes down, we all break for dinner at In n Out Burger, and then head further north to crash at my cousin's place in Woodland Hills. The kids and their cousin play board games for a little bit while the grown-ups chat, and soon enough all are yawning and it's time for bed. I share the guest room with the kids, and after I tuck them in, by the time I return from brushing my teeth in the bathroom, they are already snoring.

The kids' dental appointments happened to fall on the last day of school for calendar year 2011, which made for a more harried day than I would have wished. But with both Amy and I off, all turned out OK.

The morning routine was the same as always, but instead of walking the kids to school, I took them downtown to the dentist's office. Jada went first, and since this is her third visit, she was confident and bubbly. It helped that she got a goody bag full of really fun things.

Aaron had been dreading his turn since he woke up, even announcing with a wild tantrum that there was no way he was going to see the dentist. But Dr. Murphy was able to charm him, and the prospect of a goody bag for himself helped. Sure enough, by the end of the check-up, Aaron was his usual chatty self.

I dropped the kids off at school and headed home, only to have to escort yet another family member to a medical appointment: Amy asked if I would accompany her to the doctor's, where she was getting her blood drawn. So we rode the bus to the Perelman Center for Advanced Medicine for that, and then went to Starbucks after. I realize it's not dinner and dancing and fancy clothes, but it was a nice treat to spend such quality time with just Amy.

Alas, Aaron's school was dismissing early, so we headed in that direction, grabbed him, and brought him home. Jada didn't have her after-school program, so a couple of hours after that, I had to get her as well. We gave them some time to watch TV and play with toys, but then we instructed them to catch up on a week's worth of cleaning up all around the house. Not a bad way to ease into a holiday weekend.

Let's follow up a six hour flight with a seven hour drive, shall we? The kids mercifully sleep in until 5:30, which is acceptable to me for the first morning in the West Coast while still on East Coast time. I keep them upstairs for a little bit before bringing them down for breakfast. My mom is already up, and delighting in watching her grands as they eat. This is why I bring them out twice a year.

We hit the road by 8 and make our first stop at 9, at Casa de Fruta, a huge fruit stand that sells a whole lot more. We snag a bunch of items for family members and hit the road by 9:30. We make two more stops - one for bathroom, one for gas and food - and make it to my cousin's in Orange County by 3, which is great time. We walk immediately to a local park so my kids and her two kids can let off a little steam. A delicious dinner is followed by the four kids unsuccessfully containing their giddiness at having a little four-kid slumber party. Soon enough they are asleep and so am I.

Saturday morning started out just like any other, only instead of heading to the Y, Amy took us to the airport. Yes, we are off to California for a week. I've managed to fit all our belongings, plus gifts, airplane activities, and enough food for the day, into one carry-on bag and one personal item for each of the three of us (shoulder bag for me, kid-sized rolling suitcases for Aaron and Jada).

We breeze through security, partly because the kids are old pros and partly because it's not hugely crowded. We decide to go for a stroll to the next terminal over, where there's a play area for kids, and kill about 20 minutes there before heading back to our gate. We arrive just as they are boarding, and soon enough we are on the plane. After detouring into the cockpit, on the invitation of the two pilots, we take up our row, put away our belongings, and settle in for a long flight.

It has been a while since we did the trip without layovers, and the flight lengthens at the very outset as we are delayed 45 minutes on the tarmac. No worries, though, as the kids are well-behaved, excited by the whole scene, and generally happy. We kill time with books, drawing, and then our portable DVD player (which has about three hours of battery life, so being able to not have to use it the length of the flight was a must). Food packing went perfectly, as we make it through a combined seven sandwiches, two apples, two fruit snacks, two fruit cups, two puddings, and a bunch of chocolates.

My cousin picks us up at the airport and soon enough we are home. Even though we left our house at a reasonable hour (8:30a, not unlike when we head out for the Y on a typical Saturday morning), we are at my parents' house just after 2, because we have gained three hours. Immediately, my dad puts us to work, raking leaves and tidying up in the front yard. He snaps photos while the kids try to be helpful. My mom has wheeled her wheelchair out to the front porch to observe it all.

We spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking, packing (heading down to Southern California for the next couple of days), and wrapping Christmas gifts. My mom delights in the holiday photos we had taken in the studio last month. The kids play with toys and then settle into watching some Pink Panther (I had not let them watch this for a little bit so I figured I would let them indulge). I catch up some with my parents.

Dinner was excellent, a combination of my dad's cooking and some Chinese take-out. The kids pound the food, and not just because they're hungry; they really like the authentic stuff. Jada discovers she likes lima beans. Let me repeat: Jada discovers she likes lima beans. I call Amy immediately.

After dinner is baths, and after baths I bring the kids back downstairs to the kitchen table, where Jada can write in her journal and Aaron can work on his letters, all within close proximity of their beaming grandmother. Soon enough, I am yawning, even if the kids are not, and it is time for bed. It's always a wild card as to how insanely early they will wake up the first morning we are in California, so I always go to bed early myself just to make sure I can at least get a reasonable amount of sleep before the cycle begins all over again.

What a Saturday we had. The pics and videos tell the tale, so I'll only briefly narrate.

9a-12p - The kids and I headed out to the Y as usual, although with a twist, as this was Aaron's last basketball class and Jada's last ballet and tap class. Jada had a recital at noon, and Aaron had a birthday party in South Philly, so I made carpool arrangements with a school classmate of his, who also happened to be in his basketball class. So her dad was able to take Aaron home and then take them to the birthday party.

12p-2p - Amy hung back and arrived with her sister, who came into town to see her niece perform. The recital was really cute, and Jada moved very gracefully. We were all so proud of her, and she genuinely seemed to enjoy herself.

2p-5p - I barely have time to get home before I have to head out to South Philly to pick up Aaron and his friend. My pick-up is delayed on account of Aaron losing his gloves and me and the hosts ransacking the place looking for them. Finally, we find them, and off we go, first to drop off Aaron's friend, and then to go home. We spent a little bit more time with Amy's sister before she heads out, and then it's time to ship Jada off to her school classmate's birthday party. Mercifully, it's just down the street. Plus it's a pajama party, so Jada goes straight from ballet dress to PJ's, and we don't have to worry about another costume change.

5p-8p - Aaron falls asleep reading the dinosaur books his aunt got him for Christmas. Amy and I frantically do errands while we have one kid down and one kid out. Alas, too soon I have to go pick up Jada from her party. Aaron's a bit of a wreck from being simultaneously tired and wired, which makes bedtime a little bit more of an ordeal than normal. But it's acceptable collateral damage for such a big fun day.

I returned home from my one-night business trip to Pittsburgh to some bad news. Desol Crab, our kids' beloved hermit crab, was pronounced dead by Amy, who had been monitoring him for the past week, trying to determine whether he had died or was molting. I haven't been able to talk to the kids yet to see how they're taking it, but it's likely that the prospect of getting another crab will cheer them up sufficiently. Still, it's a little sad to lose a cherished pet. We'll miss Desol, and will always have a soft place in our heart for our very first pet.

The kids were all set to go to the Y last Friday night for their monthly "Kids Night Out," in which they dress up in pajamas and play with other kids so the parents can have a little free time. But with the night bracketed by a tiring week and a full weekend, Amy had a sense that she wanted the kids to stay at home.

I had them home a tick early, so we ate dinner, put on PJs, and then convened in the purple room for a movie (Gnomeo and Juliet) and snacks (popcorn, of course). The kids enjoyed themselves, and Amy and I, while we would've enjoyed going out to dinner, were too tired to feel regret about not seizing the chance for free time.

We took Amy's brother's family downtown yesterday to various holiday festivities. We started at the Comcast Center, and then walked through Christmas Village to Macy's. On the bus ride home, Jada snuggled up next to me, and I told her to make sure to take her kids to the holiday shows when she grew up. After all, it's the funnest thing a parent can do with their kids.

We all know Aaron is a mama's boy. We all know he saves all his kisses for Amy. But check out this measure of his affection for his mother.

One day he came home with a toy action figure that he nicknamed "The Germ." The Germ's superpower was to make sick anything he touched. So when Aaron sic'ed The Germ on me, I started to mock cough and sneeze. Jada did the same thing. Just then, Amy came home from work, and I told Aaron to go sic The Germ on her. Aaron looked back at me in all seriousness and said, "no way."

Yup, I get the germs and no kisses. Amy gets the kisses and no germs. I don't see this changing any time soon.

Apparently, Jada's world was abuzz all last week with talk of a play date this past weekend. She kept trying to explain what was going on but I kept getting her friends' names confused. Apparently, she had written notes for several of her friends, and their poor mothers reached out to us to see what was going on. We ended up making play date arrangements with one friend, inviting another but not being able to connect, and not being able to coordinate with yet another.

Speaking of written notes, Jada also showed me an elaborate set of sheets for her birthday party. Her birthday, of course, isn't for another two and a half months. No matter: individual invitations had been customized, signs were ready for the various stations within her party, and there was even a sign-in sheet for each parent.

By the way, she is all of six years old. I'm not sure I'll know what to do when we get to the teenage version of Jada.

Jada has never had a lovey-dovey side. Not that she's mean; far from it. But she isn't one to express pity or sympathy towards others. I wonder what we can do to teach her empathy.

The other day, the kids and I arrived at home, and while stumbling around in the dark (Amy wasn't home yet and it was already quite dark outside), Jada accidentally stepped on Aaron's hand, causing Aaron to howl. I softly encouraged Jada to say sorry, but that upset Jada greatly. There were probably other things going on for her, but suffice it to say that the notion of feeling sorry that someone is hurt is simply not on her radar screen.

That's obviously not a good thing. So we'll gently nurture her towards having more empathy, and hope that it is something that can grow in her.

I enjoyed my first parent-teacher conference with Jada's first grade teacher earlier this week. She and I really hit it off: I like her approach to education and appreciate her particular attention to Jada. At one point, it was like we were finishing each other's sentences, since we were so in sync on our assessment of Jada.

We both agreed her strengths are that she has a sharp mind, aims to please, and works her tail off. Her weaknesses are that she works too quickly - she never fails to finish first - and is therefore prone to making errors. (I am exactly like that!)

Her communicative problems rear themselves in the classroom sometimes as well, whether not being up on social cues in ways that make it seem she isn't being respectful of others (not responding when she is being spoken to, not making eye contact, shriveling up when too much spotlight is put on her). Hopefully, we'll be able to get the school's speech therapist involved, if not with one-on-one sessions than at least with some helpful hints on how to assist Jada.

The time came and went like a snap. I thanked Jada's teacher for her style and her effort, and for all the helpful feedback. It was fun to relay all of the accolades to Jada later that evening. I'm proud of our little girl, and hopeful she has a good teacher to help her continue to grow and thrive in the classroom setting. If only we can get Jada to slow down!

Amy left her job in the Philadelphia prisons and took a psych nurse practitioner job at Bravo Health, where she toggles between two offices and sees all kinds of patients. Lee helped get David Oh voted in as Philadelphia's first Asian-American City Councilperson, joined the board of his neighborhood association, and had speaking gigs in Harrisburg and New York City. The kids are chugging along with school and with classes at the Y (basketball for Aaron, ballet and tap for Jada). We enjoyed Thanksgiving at Amy's parents' house.